My First Love Was a Married Older Man - I’ll Always Be His Boy
I came out in my early twenties and started exploring with guys back in college, but I never really went all the way. I think part of me wanted to be traditional—to wait and meet someone special. And somehow, I actually did.
I live in a city near the coast—about 15–20 minutes from the beach, depending on which one—but I rarely went out there. It always felt like a different world compared to where I grew up.
I’d always been attracted to older men. Didn’t know how to find them. Eventually, I decided to try Scruff, and that’s when I met him.
He lived in one of the beach cities. He was married, in an open relationship for a little over half a year. And he was… stunning. Over six feet tall, broad shoulders, defined pecs and abs, a hairy chest, a deep voice—and these beautiful blue-green eyes that changed with the sunlight. And the most gorgeous smile ever. He was all of it. Still one of the most beautiful man I’ve seen.
I felt connected to him almost instantly. He was my first in so many ways. He was the first to fuck me and the first to cum inside me. He was so caring, and made sure I had the best first time. After, he couldn’t get enough of me lol. And somewhere along the line, we fell in love.
His husband traveled for work every couple of weeks, and during those times, I’d come stay with him for a few days. It honestly felt like paradise. We’d wake up to the sound of the ocean. He’d take me out to bars and restaurants, we’d go to the movies, he’d spoil me, introduce me to new things. He even got me into Stevie Nicks.
At home, he’d cook me steak, asparagus, and potatoes, and we’d share a glass of wine. We’d sit on the couch, wrapped up in each other, with the fireplace going, listening to Stevie Nicks and the distant sound of the beach. We used to call each other soulmates. It was one of the happiest times of my life.
Then COVID hit.
Everything changed. His husband found out about how deep our relationship had become and felt threatened. They closed the marriage. His Husband started working from home so no more visiting. The last time I saw him in person was right before the world shut down—we didn’t even realize it would be the last time.
We still check in occasionally. He messages me on my birthday; I message him on his. But there’s distance now. Still… I know we loved each other. Maybe a part of us always will.
I’ll always be his boy. He’ll always be my papa.
And every time I hear a Stevie Nicks song, I’m right back there—lying on the couch in his arms, a glass of wine in hand, the fireplace warm, and the sound of the ocean in the background.