Colonel Mouse Turd
We're planning for a high school reunion this summer. There is a online forum to post memories, stories, funny things that happened, etc. I had forgotten about this one:
Mr. Maus taught Science and was not well liked. He would constantly tell stories to us, bragging about all the wonderful things he had done in his life. We'd refer to him (when out of earshot) as "All World" because whatever someone did, he had done it, and much better. His lessons always seemed to weave in his great achievements.
He started on some sort of forensics unit, to teach us how to solve crimes using scientific methods. Our "reward" was to have a day of class when we would all play the game Clue. One table was a player short, so Mr. Maus sat in. We learned that he was a Clue champion, having played it all the time before he became a teacher. He chose Colonel Mustard for his character, told us that he always had that character because of his name, and was known as "Colonel Maustard" when he played. He encouraged us to use that name during the game.
For the rest of the school year, many of us addressed him as "Colonel Mouse Turd" in class, and he never caught on. He actually smiled when someone used it.