AITAH for not wanting my BF to meet my family?
​
TLDR; I worry about my family reacting badly to my unconventional relationship and don't want my BF to be hurt by my family.
Hi, the context of my unconventional relationship is pretty crucial to this post.
Me and my boyfriend met when I moved from a small town in Missouri to New York City. We have been dating for about 6 months, and we quickly totally fell head over heels for eachother. We got matching initial tattoos, mine is on my collarbone (a G with a heart) and he got mine on his upper arm (an H with a heart). The unconventional part of our relationship is that he is 43 and I'm 19.
The context of my relationship with my family is important too because I had an unconventional upbringing as well. I am the youngest of 6 kids, and the only girl of 5 brothers. My mother didn't intend to have me, because she thought she was done having kids because she gave birth to me when she was 49. My father died of cancer when I was young, and my relationship with my mother was never all too great. Anyways, my relationship with my mother and my family in general has always been strained, honestly moving halfway across the country has improved our relationship a lot. But yeah I grew up with a unique childhood at least for a gen z, my mother raised me pretty close to the way she raised my brothers when they were born in the 80s and 90s.
I also have a traumatic history of abusive relationship. My family worries about me, with my mental health struggles and generational trauma and all that nuance. I wouldn't exactly blame them for being wary of my boyfriend, but my family tends to be dramatic and overreacts at least when it comes to me.
Anyways, my boyfriend brought up wanting to meet my family, I told him that wasn't a great idea and told him all the reasons why, that my brothers are cornfed farm boys with access to many a guns. He really didn't take this well, saying I'm hiding him (I'm not, at least not from friends or anyone other than my family), that my family will come around and I told him I seriously doubt that. I want to marry this man, and if I do I can't keep him away from my family forever, and I don't want to cut contact with my family when we are getting to a better place. I never told him I want him to NEVER meet my family, just that I want to ease into it or wait. I worry about what my family will say to him, they can be very cruel with their words. AITAH?