Saved myself for marriage. Husband won’t touch me.
Hello! I am 31 and husband is 34. I’ve known him for a really long time, 12 years. We were friends at first and then dated. We never had sex during that time because I had decided to save myself—nothing overly religious..just wanted to make sure I did it with someone special and don’t love the current dating scene. My husband has had sex with other women before being married to me. That was no issue for me since he always said he respected my wishes.
We had a few close calls when we were dating but not actual sex. No other forms either just intense makeouts. He would tell me once in a while if I was sure waiting and I would repeat yes and he would back off.
After five years we got married. Our wedding night was fun and exciting! We were both very drunk but happy to be together. We later left five days for our honeymoon where we had sex three out of the five days—the other two days my husband said he was tired and needed a break.
Well it’s been harder and harder. We’ve been married for less than two years and we have already had a dry spell of four months where he claims he’s just too tired. Maybe we have sex once every 10-14 days and I always have to initiate it. And out of each time I initiate with kissing massages wearing outfits maybe it happens 50% of the time.
Recently he’s having problems with ED and holding an erection in the act. He’s 34 good health and has even gone to the doctor to get blood work done to see what is going on. Everything, including hormones, is prefect for a man his age. I’ve suggested therapy and he says he’s willing to go but doesn’t do anything about it. He’s taken viagra twice and lost his erection both times.
I’ve even asked about his sexuality, orientation or what I can do to help. He claims he’s attracted to me but tired. Works about 50 hour weeks and has weekends off. I am considering divorce and have told him. He doesn’t say anything. I feel like something is going on. I’ve even asked about porn or fetishes and he says he doesn’t see porn or have anything.
I am finding myself being attracted to other men and have even told him. That he doesn’t make me feel desired, again he doesn’t say anything. He just told me he liked when we were dating because he didn’t have to make me feel desirable and that I did that on my own. I let him know that I still think I am but I wish I was desired by my husband. Again silence.
I really don’t know if this is divorce worthy.