Struggling to be normal at work, how to get through?
Hello! I'm 22 and got my first job ever. I mostly just do administrative work, I also have to be social throughout the day like making phone calls and talking extensively with my coworkers
My ability to verbally articulate myself is nonexistent and embarrassingly stilted and I struggle a lot to look and sound friendly. I try my best to be polite and smile and sound cheerful, but I'm afraid I end up coming off as too perky and overly friendly or cheery or fake since I tend to drop my smile once conversation is over and I only really end up talking about work-related stuff instead of doing more small talk and regular person-to-person conversations
It doesn't really help that I would prefer to be private at work and I don't really feel comfortable in divulging too much about my personal life with coworkers. I'm also boring anyways but I think some people could mistake that for me genuinely avoiding conversation when I just don't have a lot to say so I think I end up looking standoffish, but I also think some people think my awkwardness can be funny so maybe it's not too bad???
However I've been told by people (not at work at the moment but in the past) that I come off as scary or like I hate them when I just unfortunately look and sound like that when I'm relaxed or not thinking about anything. I think for me, especially since I'm a woman, I have to sound and act friendly to not be seen as a bitch or like I want to wear their skin, but it's really exhausting
I sometimes get worried and confused too when I think someone is being flat or indifferent with me so it's not like I don't understand why people would think that about me specifically, I would just like to know how to at least not come off as off-putting or potentially act rude without having to push myself so hard to do a persona that I don't think has been effective at all anyways
Any fun zingers or lines or jokes so I can at least go from unsettling person to occasionally humorous but boring person would be helpful
Other side note but I would also appreciate any tips on how to transition from a person facing job to something less social but with decent pay and benefits too please