u/yourBuddyDudeGuy

27AFAB, transitioned socially pretty early (13-18), started hormones at 20, have lived as a man for a while. Switched jobs about 3 years ago and used it as an excuse to start over with my gender -- instead of identifying as a binary trans male, I openly identified as agender/nonbinary ish with no pronoun preference. I work with kids who truly do not understand gender yet and am euphoric when one kid uses she/her and another kid uses he/him for me.

Started talking to my partner about my weird gender feelings maybe 6 months ago and he asked if I would be okay if he occasionally called me his girlfriend. I agreed and he sporadically calls me a girl, uses she/her pronouns and a feminine nickname.

I feel like it's building within me. Sometimes I wonder if I only transitioned because I was an ugly girl. No boobs, bad teeth, truly a tomboy. Sometimes I think about the little girl that I once was and have an innate desire to try again.

But then I stop taking my hormones and I get my period and extreme PMDD and I think about being a man and the cycle starts over again.

I wish I could have a truly nonbinary body. I wish I could wake up and choose what to look like. I wish that people wouldn't assume my gender based upon how I look. Ughhhhhhhh.

u/yourBuddyDudeGuy — 2 months ago