u/yuannqi

I've realised lately that I feel like i don't know how to rest. I feel like i can't really unwind or put my mind at peace completely. I've been on various anxiety medication and I think it does help, but today is Saturday and i have nothing to do. But even when I do nothing I feel so tired. I wake up from a full night of sleep or a nap being tired.

I'm trying to do more stuff then stay at home and go to work all summer, and I went to the museum yesterday. And it was really great but it wasn't relaxing. I try to play my favourite game, and it stresses me out. Its supposed to be a cosy game, and I genuinely like it but it still stresses me out.

Watching movies is tiring. Reading is tiring. And its all stuff that I enjoy and thats supposed to he relaxing. But I dont feel rested and I feel like it actually takes energy.

I figured doomscrolling wasn't any more resting so I managed to stop and im trying to do anything else.

Does someone know how I can finally feel rested?

Thank you in advance

Are yall even trying ? I don't wanna be rude or anything but maybe some of you dont have friends or can't find friends because you are not trying. First of all, people who write one sentences long post, okay ? What substance are we supposed to get from that. People who send you "hi", thats it. And go on in the most boring moves of "whatsup, wyd". People who CLEARLY don't read your posts. And worse people who write posts, you message them a presentation or something related to their post and they respond "hi". Honorable mention to those who "dont like small talk and prefer deeper conversation", not realising that deeper conversation do not start on their own but rather organically. And its not even like they have deeper thoughts, or thoughts at all anyway because they cant fucking talk. Maybe they think asking if alien exist is deep when that is, in fact, also small talk. What do you all want?

I don't always want to write post because its overwhelming and its a waste of time because, even when you clearly state what you're looking for. So i try to message people and even when you think you found someone worth messaging they are the driest, boneless, brainless person.

Its easy to fall into the idea that you don't owe anyone anything, and thats true in a way. But then dont expect people to run after you and do everything for you. We are not your personal jester. If I wanted to talk to a walk, I have 4 of them in my house.

​

Its so weird how people will be like "omg im so lonely I need friends" and then you reach out and they just can't talk? Like basic, basic conversation nothing fancy. They are the driest people ever. Honestly, when it happens I just let the conversation die down since im the one carrying it.

I know maybe I have high expectations. I've been told I'm too much or clingy and I dont wanna be too much but its hard when you're so lonely and you finally have someone and they aren't even trying. Honestly sometimes I'm still trying because ive met my best friend of 4 years here so I know i might find my person.

A little about me:

I like all kind and type of art, especially writing, drawing and music. I also really love reading, novels, mangas, graphic novel, all that. I spend most of my days watching YouTube videos, especially internet and unsolved mysteries, commentary or vulgarization (mostly history?

If have a time zone close to GMT+ 2, it would be better so we could have more chat time or find time to call once we are both comfy etc.

Byee hope to hear from you <33