u/yunganemic

I met absolute peach of a person, fell in love, and then I got my IUD inserted 8 months ago to manage endo/bleeding. Worked like a charm for those issues, but has deeply affected my mental health. For the past 8 months, I've felt paranoid, depressed, and have had INSANE mood swings.

I feel distant from myself and I feel distant from my partner. After I got the IUD, I stopped liking him. Like not a libido issue, but an issue with us existing together. I felt joy being around him before and now I feel annoyed by the smallest things that never bothered me before. Obviously this has affected our relationship and I'm not sure how to move forward. We might be moving into a new place together in a few weeks and I feel so confused.

I removed my own IUD four days ago. I already feel less anxious, but I still feel different. For those of you that had it removed/removed it, how long did it take for you to feel normal again? If your relationships were affected, how long did it take for things to settle back into place?

I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I'm not mentally sound enough to make any decisions. This sucks!!

Y'all. I'm feeling so fed up with being on what feels like a never ending loop. I've been on birth control for my endo and von Willebrands since I was 15 and I feel like I'm just living out the same cycle over and over again.

Basically, it goes like this: my symptoms become worse -> try a new birth control -> birth control works at first, but eventually stops working OR birth control turns me into someone unrecognizable, harms my closest relationships, and my self esteem -> get off of birth control -> bleed out and symptoms become worse -> try a new birth control.

Sometimes I wonder if this version of myself I've been living as for the past 12 years is truly myself. I know that we're multifaceted beings and there is no one true version of ourselves present at all times, but what if all of these parts of myself are being affected by this constant stream of hormones? I got an IUD inserted 9 months ago and I feel insane. While it's been great for bleeding and cramps, I've had headaches, severe mood swings, and a near crushing anxiety and apathy towards this life that I've built. I know its the IUD speaking and I have a consultation set up with my gyno to talk about removal, but damn I feel frustrated with this cycle at the moment. I want to be off of birth control, but the moment I stop taking the pill/remove the device/reject the upcoming shot, I bleed for months on end.

(Also, wtf is up with needing a consultation in order to schedule removal? I'm sure there's medical things to go over, plans to make, but GOD is "I want this out" not enough for a removal appointment to be scheduled?)

I've been trawling this sub for inspiration. For some hope that I could, even if for a little bit, get off of these medications. I've been seeing recommendations for diets, supplements, and other meds. If anyone has success stories for getting off of birth control, I'd love to hear them!