just learned about fictosxuality !!
like the title says, i've just discovered this term and i feel like it definitely resonates with me, but i'm still unsure. i'm 18F and ever since i can remember, i've had an "imaginary friend" that's the character i would be infatuated with at that moment. like anywhere i am - with people or alone - i imagine them with me. if i'm in the back of a car by myself or walking, i pretend i'm holding their hand. at night, i sleep as though they are next to me. i even talk to "myself" as if they are in the room with me. i thought it was just a form of maladaptive daydreaming or my autism, but it feels a lot like fictosxuality. having crushes on people i know, comes very rare for me and if it does, the crush doesn't last long and i always have that character in my mind. my thoughts consist of using them as comfort, pretening i'm their girlfriend, ect. i listen to music and watch shows i think they would like, as well. i know they aren't real. but i've always connected with things that can't return affection necessarily (animals, characters, plushies, ect.) i'm also a vrgin and have never been in a relationship. i've barely even lasted long during talking stages. i don't know. i was just wondering if i could get someone's thoughts and advice on it. it would be much appreciated 🤍
p.s. - i would also like to note that i do indeed feel jealous and hurt if they have a significant other in the fandom they're from