Frustrated with my band (Rant + advice wanted)
A few years ago I started this band with some friends. I, the bassist, and our singer/guitarist had written a lot of our songs. Recently our singer left on good terms, he wanted to do his own thing. So we got a new singer and since his arrival I’ve felt like there’s been some dynamic changes. I saw this new singer coming in as an opportunity to grow my musical skills but it hasn’t been going that way. Since the singers arrival I have felt like I’ve been pushed away. The singer and the other members have been writing without me and whenever I give input it falls to deaf ears. Whenever I bring a song idea to them they say it’s good and it ends there. The same goes for covers, any suggestion I have gets shot down.
Along with creative frustration there’s been a change of scheduling. Some of the members get together more frequently to write/jam while I’m not there because I live the furthest away and have a busier schedule. The new singer and guitarist say that I’m not committed enough and need to spend more time. Theyre are borderline demanding I give up some of my other obligations so we can do 2-3 practices a week instead of once a week. I simply cannot do this. I barely have enough time after work and my other obligations to do chores, spend time with my gf, and do basic upkeep. Hell I haven’t had a haircut in almost half a year because I haven’t had the time. I have explained this to them but they don’t seem to understand.
The most recent incident was when I told them (month in advance) I was going on a trip for a weekend so I wouldn’t be able to go to practice. I was coming back home on the day of usual practice and I knew I was gonna be exhausted from the trip and travel and wouldn’t have the bandwidth to drive another 2 hours round trip to do band practice. So I included that day in the unavailability. On the day they were confused to where I was and was mad when I told them I wouldn’t be able to go.
Ive just been so frustrated that I’m not even enjoying doing it anymore. Demanding I sacrifice more of my time to do this while I feel I’m not even getting a say what we’re doing. Like I get it that I wrote a lot of our other stuff and they want to write their own songs which I want to support, but it’s at the cost of my own creativity. Any advice is welcome I’m just so frustrated with it.