r/AthensCircleJerk

Not even a circlejerk, I’m 1000% serious.

He likes young girls and giving out Werther’s Originals.

It’s that bear 🐻 that’s been roaming around on The Eastside. He must have gotten lost from Church Bar after a drag show.

Meet at Ben Burton park at 8pm when the sun goes down. Bring oil lube.

Someone was asking for a welcoming and diverse cult group to join, might I suggest you join our group at the Athens University Universalist Universal Cult. We have a trip planned this month to go meet the aliens 👽. You even get a team patch for participating in our alien expedition. Please donate to our space fund today.

ACCPD Sheriff John Q Williams held a press conference this morning to confirm there are two new gangs in town, the Dutch Bros, and 7Brew. He asks for everyone to be cautious while out and about, especially in the Atlanta Highway area, which is where both gangs claim territory, and where they gather in massive groups, causing chaos in the area. They are very easy to spot by their colors, and the fact they are usually high on "juice" and "beans". There has been no reports of violence yet, but Sheriff Williams is giving the heads up, as he says both gangs seem to be low IQ and easily manipulated by marketing, which is usually a recipe for mob mentality.

Starting this week residents that need to pee or poop will no longer have to do it on the steps of a business, in the middle of the sidewalk, on the curb, or in rainbow crossings. Bathroom troughs will be installed on every 100 feet of sidewalk in Downtown Athens. Volunteers from 1000 Feces Coffee will come clean out each trough daily with a hose and bucket.

A spokesperson for the project said “We want to make Downtown Athens a welcoming place for people to come shit on.”

Also, in other news ACC will be installing public hot plates for people to to cook shit on and/or to heat up drugs.

"Freeze, get on the ground now, don't move, show me your hands"