Can I Vent?
Just a little background on me, I'm 35 and late bloomer when it came to realizing and accepting my bisexuality; but due to circumstances beyond my control, as a young girl, I knew for sure I liked girls and I also like boys.
Fast forward to my high school years, my friends were boy crazy and I never felt comfortable telling them the truth so I just played along. Luckily I did have crushes that were boys so it was exciting to be able to talk to my friends about it.
Once highschool ended, I got into my first real relationship and right away things moved fast, we had our first child right at 20 years old, been kicked out of a few places, gotten married, got kicked out of our apartment, moved in with my mom and gotten pregnant with our second child. We divorced shortly after that. It was NOT a good relationship. He was a narcissist, a compulsive liar and was also psychologically abusive. He also didn't allow me to be my true self and the whole time we were together felt like I was masking. It was exhausting!!
All of this led to me dating my current husband! We've been together for two years and started our lives as a blended family, as he also has a daughter.
He is extremely supportive of my journey and truly only wants me to be happy and to be my true self. We've even been throwing around the idea of polyamory because I also want a girlfriend! I want the whole girlfriend experience with another woman and I thought I was on my way to that but now I'm not so sure...
Here's where it gets a little crazy, let's rewind to when I met this older woman online about 3ish years ago. We hit it off almost right away and she is also bi. It doesn't take long for our conversations to start heating up and getting extremely flirty so we decided we were ready to meet irl. However I had gotten extremely sick and had to cancel but we kept in contact.
Fast forward a little bit and we ended up not having contact with each other for quite some time and when I finally did find her socials again and reached out, she tells me she moved across country. We keep contact and a few months later she tells me she's flying in to my city for a layover and she wants to meet up. We do, I buy her flowers and pick her up at the airport then went back to my place for coffee and to just talk finally face to face. She goes back across country and tells me that in a few more months she's coming back and want to see me again! So we pick her up at the airport the night she landed, went back to my place again and she stayed the night.
We hung out with my husband and all laughed and joked for a while. It was getting late I reminded her she has an early morning and busy weekend so she needed to get some rest. She and I go to my room and we end up having sex and it was amazing!! Later on when she had to fly back, we were flirting really heavy and even talking about how much we missed each other and how we couldn't stop thinking about that night. We ended up sexting a lot more as well.
Now, not even 4 months later, every time I text her the conversation is dry as hell. Or she leaves me on read. I've brought it up to her a few times and she says everything is fine and that she just forgets to respond. That's fine if she does forget, because hell I do too sometimes! But what I don't understand is why the only time she can have a full conversation with me and not have me feeling like I'm bothering her is when she's telling me about some guy she had sex with? I hype her up as always because women should definitely uplift each other but damn! We went from being super upfront and comfortable with each other to now one of us is closed off and the other one is confused. (Guess which one is me?) Idk if I didn't anything wrong or if I'm just in my feels but it sucks.