r/BlackWomen

Hey guys,

As a single black woman, I would consider myself successful. I worked hard to get to where I am, and I am currently renting a loft in Charlotte, NC. My loft is the only unique unit where I have a private entrance and patio. I am the only unit in a corner.

It has been a nightmare since I moved in. Not because of the unit, but because of the harrassment and intimidation I have been experiencing from the black older men here. I have been stalked to the point where I had to call the cops (he made it seem like we was in a relationship and I was a bitter girlfriend), thank God he got evicted.

There's guy would sit and smoke right behind my doors and it would scare TF out of me. Now he's moved further away from my entrance; but he still has full visability of my patio and doors; only 20 feet away now. Spends hours outside to the point where I am changing my routine around his so he doesn't know when I am home or not. He's maybe 55-60 staying here with his Mom with no car so the corner of my apartment is his universe. He mentioned to me that he doesn't have a private entrance and patio so that's why he sits there.

I have another old man now mad because I park in a spot in front of my door and have easy access to just walk up with my bags and open my doors; instead of having to scan a key fob and walk in the building hallways. He mentioned that I have the best parking spot because I have my own entrance, so I guess that's why he parks there and doesn't move for days. Forcing me to have to walk far with bags.

One thing I noticed recently is that all of the men that I have found me in this corner, have been middle aged black men. I think it's half creepy and half jealousy being that I am young with this unit (28 years old).

Has any other woman dealt with situations like this? You would think these dudes would want to protect black women, but all I get is envy from these older men. I'm waiting til the end of next month to start the sublease process, my unit is desirable so it won't be long for it to move. I absolutely love this place, but I can't take the older black men around here no longer.

Once they notice I live alone, I see them more and more each day. Even if they don't stay in the same building.

Has any other woman dealt with this type of situation? I never experienced men jealous of a woman's success.

I have no clue if anyone is gonna see this. (His 27M & I’m 21F) But yesterday he asked me a question. He said “why do black women wear red or pink blush instead of something that suits their skin tone more like gold?” I was confused and thrown off by his comment so I asked him to explain and somewhere during our exchange I brought up the fact that white women wear blush as well and he said something along the lines of “well they wear it because that’s what happens naturally when they blush so it’s natural.” basically implying for black women it’s not that’s why they shouldn’t wear pink or red blush. (Also We’re both darkskin) but I got really frustrated with him during this exchange because I felt it was very odd for him to say that. I don’t think a certain makeup product is only for a certain group of people. Makeup is a form of art and people express it as they please. He also seemed to get kinda of angry when I called him out on his strange comment. It made me uncomfortable and I felt Like going home at the time.

For more context We’ve been for a year. And this is NOT the first time his made a comment that made me uncomfortable or confused me (just not like the one above) But whenever I call him out on it he seems to get defensive and then says I’m overreacting. I’m honestly fed up and I’m thinking up ending our relationship because he just comes off emotionally immature. And it’s like he doesn’t think before he speaks. Idk.

TL;DR: I love my boyfriend but I’m having doubts about whether we’re right for each other and I want advice. Should I trust my gut?

It’s been almost year since I learned that a stock from a company I worked for, actually made me money. About $40,000. I paid off a ton of credit card bills and now I have about $30,000. I have no idea what to do. I’ve met with financial advisors at J.P. Morgan but I felt like they were trying to get over on me. That could just be my lack of financial literacy. I did speak with a friend who originally convinced me to pay off the debt and told me to open a high yield savings account. I did. But I had to pay back taxes for taking money out of the stock so my high yield saving now has about $5,000. No one in my family has the amount of money saved so I have no one to talk to about it and I’m scared to share the amount, although it’s not a lot. The rest is sitting in my stock account but the company stock is very volatile and I’m afraid if I don’t do something with it now, I might lose it all.

For every man I meet, even if the first encounter takes place in decent and pleasant circumstances, I find that they only want to sleep with me occasionally. What's going on?