I work in tech in a predominantly white company……Painfully white company. I am seriously the only black person in my office location, with a handful of other POC.

I can do the office talk for eight hours, three days a week (work from home 2 days a week). However I realize we truly have nothing in common as I had to spend my whole weekend/ free time with them as I have to be back Monday at 8 am. (I don’t know ANY classic rock songs and I am NOT good at trivia)

This trip honestly made me feel really insecure:

1. I see all of them getting along so well. They also brought their partners. I am post four months a major friendship falling out, that I am embarrassingly still recovering from and has left me very lonely. Im going through a period where i feel like i don’t really get along with people right now and I’m unloveable. This experience put it on TEN.

2. The trivia night. Again I don’t know all of these random white people facts. In fact I realize I only take in black music, black movies, black culture in general. Am I doing myself a disservice? I’ve never watched the movie Armageddon. I felt really stupid.

3. The entire experience made me realize the depth of lack of diversity in the office. I live in a majority black city…… but yet I am the only black person in the office. I knew there was systematic racism……. But this whole experience highlighted it even more. Like yall it was an ALL WHITE PARTY….. you truly HAVE TO WORK AT BEING a super majority in my city.

As a side rant….. they never hire any of my recommendations. In fact, they would rather not fill a role than to hire another black person at all. Not in my direct office but as a field tech they just hired a black man…. And they told him he almost didn’t get it because he didn’t go to a tier 1 school….. no one else has gone to a tier one school.

I really don’t know what to do with all of this, not being able to relate culturally, being the only one, systemic racism. I don’t wanna go to work today but I will.

I don’t know that I am asking. Apart of me is ranting, apart of me is asking how should I move going forward.

Hello! I’m visiting early August!

I’m very excited but I would like to double check some things.

I heard it’s monsoon season. I heard the rain last about 15 minutes in the afternoon. I should hike early and then get inside for the middle of the day. It can get pretty bad if I’m not mindful about being inside.

I heard about the wild fires….. they are mostly over… right? I know to avoid oak creek. Should I be worried about them coming back?

I’m from the Midwest so I assume it’s pretty hot. I plan on bringing sun screen and a sun hat…. Do you suggest anything else? I also have hiking boots just to be safe… not against the sun but for protection for my feet. lol

I plan on going to antelope canyon X and Mariposa so far…… anything else you recommend doing?

I’m going on a wellness trip in a few weeks. As a woman who is single I honestly don’t mind a fling/ sexual encounter if all the stars align.

But…. How often do the stars align? For me to be interested in something like that the number one thing they need are recent test results. Secondly very good looking, nice personality, gotta spend some money lol.

Is that rare to come across on a solo trip? I’m getting tested myself before I go. I’m in shape, okay looking. Not gonna spend money on a man though.

I’m I thinking about this wrong?

I’ve had two best friend since I was in 6th grade. Aubrey and Sherry. I mean went to the same school, lived in the same neighborhood, even worked the same jobs at some point. We’ve had our ups and downs throughout this time.

Aubrey moved away from our home town for about three years and moved back at the end of 2025. Sherry and I were so excited to have her back!

Context:

Aubrey is gorgeous, and a real people person. A real crowd pleaser if you will. She’s a real hit with men. They naturally go towards her.

Sherry is funny and a good time in her own right but struggles with romantic relationships and anxious attachment issues.

Stay with me here.

Aubrey says she isn’t going to move back because she couldn’t find a place to stay. Sherry suggests Aubrey move into the duplex she just moved out of.

Remember the anxious attachment issue I mentioned? Well previous to all of this Sherry meets a man online, Sean. They date. He wants to break up, Sherry doesn’t let him go. For the next four years he will go on to use her for sex and money (2022-2026).

Now back to the current duplex.

When Sherry moves out of the upper unit, Sean takes it upon himself to move into the upper unit.

Again, Sherry told Aubrey about the lower being open. Aubrey takes the offer and moves in.

Instantly Sean and Aubrey become good friends. I’m talking going on store runs, hanging out without Sherry, smoking together. Etc

So much so Aubrey and Sean come home one day and Aubrey says “ hahaha a lady at the store said we were ready for marriage!”

Sherry starts to feel some type of way about it. She states Sean doesn’t go to the store with her and does all that stuff. Etc.

Sherry thinks they are having relations.

One day, without Sherry being there Sean tells us that Sherry talks crap about us. Saying we use her and we are mean to her etc.

This sends Aubrey over the edge and she cuts Sherry off.

Long story short, I go back to Sherry and tell her everything Sean said. Of course it isn’t true. Tbh it I didn’t even sound true coming out of his mouth.

Aubrey says it’s too late and doesn’t want to be friends with her anymore regardless.

Sherry is upset about this. Why? Because Sean and Aubrey continue to hang out and she is basically cut off. Sherry thinks Sean and Aubrey are messing around. This further sends Aubrey over the edge.

What will confuse you is that Sherry keeps talking to Sean regardless….. anxious attachment is alive and real here. Aubrey keeps talking to Sean even though he lied.

Myself. I try to stay in the middle. I don’t completely believe Sean and Aubrey are doing anything, because that would just be too nasty and weird. And tbh Sherry has accused Aubrey of sleeping with her partners before.

Opinion: I can also see why Sherry would be upset. Regardless of his title and true connection to Sherry that is still someone she cares about. I can also see why Aubrey would be upset about being accused of such a thing.

Where do I come in?

Me and Aubrey get into it about something else. A Facebook post. So stupid I know. Aubrey tells me I am acting different and me bringing up the post furthers her point about it.

I ask her what the initial grievance is… she tells me it’s none of my business and she’s always healed from it.

Opinion: I don’t think that’s fair to tell me I’m acting a certain way and not tell what it is. She only brought it up when I brought up something that was bothering me.

She cuts me off as well.

I only find out the additional grievance through another friend. She tells me Aubrey was upset because I didn’t defend her against Sherry.

Not true. Me and Sherry had many private conversations. I told her it doesn’t sound like Aubrey would do something like that…. She very very popular. Lol

This tears me up, and has been for the last couple of months.

Recently Sherry went through Sean phone and indeed found out Sherry and Sean ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER. They are just really good friends.

Additional opinions and insight:

Aubrey think Sherry wanted her to move in so she could “watch” Sean for her. Aubrey states she didn’t want to be in the middle of that.

Sherry says, she only mentioned the place to stay because she was having a hard time finding a place. BUT did expect her to tell her if Sean had girls over.

Aubrey also states that their relationship was already on thin ice when she moved back. For context I will mention Sherry has put us all in danger at some point with the men she dates. She can be very male centered.

Sean… get off easy on both ends. For the sack of the story and it might not even be important. Sean is black and both women are white. Do with that what you will. He still hang out with Aubrey while still having sex with Sherry.

I….. I don’t have a lot of friends outside of Sherry and Aubrey. In fact, Aubrey’s sibling is my kiddos emergency contact.

None of them came to my kiddos birthday party.

Aubrey was kinda the center of our friendship circle no lie.

They haven’t been talking to me either. I feel completely cut off from my community. She cut me off without even talking to me. I feel alone. While I have Sherry sometimes I find it hard to continue to deal with her male centered and plethora of other mental health issues. She can be a lot, but I won’t completely get into here.

I didn’t get the chance to explain myself. I feel like Aubrey is being really cruel.

Also at this time, Aubrey is helping their sibling through a divorce so I can understand not being able to handle the drama.

If there is additional context from Aubrey I never heard it as she won’t talk to us.

Did I mention we are all in our 30s? lol

In 2024 me and my child’s father broke up. In 2025 I started seeing a couple. Yes a couple. All of us had kids around the same age.

We took the kids to a jumping park and out to eat a few times. We never hung out with the kids in the home. This didn’t last more than a month.

My child’s father hated this and asked me to stop bringing out kiddo around them. I did. I said sorry. I didn’t bring my kiddo around anyone else I was dating.

A few weeks later I stopped seeing the couple all together because it got weird.

In 2026 me and my child’s father have been working on getting back together but he can’t get past it. He said I tried to replace him as her Dad and what I did was super foul. I understand his pain.

What should I do? I love him and I want it to work, but it’s been over a year. I feel like I apologized multiple times and corrected the mistake. Should I just let him complain? Should I end things? Was what I did really that bad?