r/blackgirls

I don’t know if this will make sense to everyone, but as I get older, I find it harder and harder to make white friends. I always have this inner fear that they might be closet racist or ignorant.

It feels like a ticking time bomb like sooner or later, they’re bound to say something completely out-of-line without realizing it, make an insensitive joke, or ask a weird question. And honestly, I just don't have the energy to educate people on microaggressions anymore.

We’re in 2026 with all the resources and technology available, there’s really no excuse to be this uninformed. Certain comments just shouldn't happen anymore. No, you can’t ask me if I unbraid my hair every night and redo it every morning, or if I can get tan... just NO 💀

The worst part is when it happens with someone I actually like it ruins the whole connection. Over time, it’s only gotten worse. It feels like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland is constantly standing behind them, mocking me and saying, "Just wait, it's going to happen."

I’m just curious! Some of mine include That’s So Raven, Schitt’s Creek, and The Neighborhood. Also, I don’t know if this is considered a comfort show, but I’ve watched Monk so many times every episode is familiar to me.

What are yours?

I’d never wanna get pregnant. I’m talking about adopting an older girl. I’ve been thinking about this for years. I would like to get married to an amazing woman one day, but idk when. I enjoy being single. But what if I never do find the love of my life? I wouldn’t wanna adopt a baby bc I refuse sleepless nights and having a human depend on me for EVERYTHING. But an older daughter? I think that’d be amazing. Idk. I just think about it from time to time. What do yall think?

Growing up everyone had a special nickname. My nana was called “Skeet”
mom was called “cherry”
auntie was called “rosebud”
uncle was called “junebug”

as for my sisters and I-
me (eldest) dawned “pig” because i was a fat baby who was secretly being fed chewed up pork chop sandwiches by my nana 😭

my second sister was dawned, “pudding.”

and our baby sister was called, “sweet pea.”

what was yours?

Times like this I wish I had an intentional mother to go to. I am 29 and still don’t have much to my name. I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch because of a previous break up. I have a job and I’m trying to save up for a vehicle so I can at-least get around and make more money but I don’t have a drivers license due to no one ever wanting to teach me. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to go about things and it makes me sad that I don’t have anyone. I can’t ask those around me because I feel ashamed not having the proper guidance to know how to do these things myself…. I don’t have siblings, I only have like 2 friends, my mom is in another state and doesn’t even care to know where I am or what I have going on. I feel completely alone. I am trying to work a full time job and start up my cleaning business so I can get myself on the right foot but without help and even moral support. I don’t know how I can make these things happen….

Obliviously I know all darksin women deal with being masculinized but I'm talking about how it can impact the way you perceive yourself. I'm a darksin woman,since recently I only had white friends. 2 months ago I became friends with two light skin girls. I don't know how to describe it but since I have blk women in my sphere it's like I'm becoming the "dark skin" one (whereas with my white friends I was just "the black girl").

I'm having a hard time not thinking of that and I began to perceive myself as masculine even though I know I'm not. Every time I put on makeup I just feel like a guy who would cosplay as a girl.

The ironi is that I'm really feminine in my day to day life and put on more effort in my appearance compared to my friend (I always have my hair, my nails, my makeup done etc..) but I don't know I just stopped being confident in my skin color.

Hey guys! Im looking for some new black girl friends both online and in person (safety is everything tho) Like I said im 25, I live in NC but in a small rural town so thats why its been hard to find other young girlies that aren't moms and married already. I love anime, cooking, eating, window shopping, working out and Jesus. But im down to do pretty much anything- i dont smoke or drink tho. I'd love to meet other black girls that just want to live their young lives, nerd out, and walk with Christ! Im down to make a discord for us to chat too 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

I just found all the spots to go but ain’t got no money to gooooo. 😭 I might have to get a second job or something because I need to be outsideee or I will go crazy. I’m not a homebody at all.

Mind you I have a trip planned soon, so I’m saving for that but dang 🙂‍↕️

I’ve primarily used Hinge because several of my friends have had success there. However, I noticed I was getting very few likes or matches despite considering myself attractive and having a solid profile.

A friend mentioned a social media post suggesting that Black women change their race on Hinge to see if it affects their experience. I tried changing mine from African American to non-Black, and almost immediately noticed a different pool of men more professionals and generally men I was more interested in. I changed it back to African American, and the difference was noticeable.

I even switched profiles with a non-Black friend. She was getting tons of likes while I received very few, and she commented that the men appearing on my profile seemed noticeably different from what she was seeing.

I eventually tried Bumble with essentially the same profile, and the difference was pretty shocking: 50+ likes and 4 matches in less than 24 hours.

I know dating apps vary, and I’m not expecting to be everyone’s type, but the difference has made me wonder how much racial bias plays into what Black women are shown and how often our profiles are shown.

Has anyone else experienced something similar, particularly on Hinge? I’d love to hear your experiences or advice.

You cannot support and advocate for Jane Doe and support Chris Brown.

You cannot support Jane Doe and support P. Diddy.

You cannot support Jane Doe and support R. Kelly.

You cannot support Jane Doe and support ANY man that abuses women and at the same time say that you support Jane Doe.

I don't want to constantly check someone after saying a slur they shouldn't be saying. Going out of my way to constantly correct someone like I'm their mother is just irritating. Especially if they won't even stop saying it. I just feel so uncomfortable. Like today someone hispanic said the n-word, and what makes it worse is their friends are Black, like genuinely wtf. He didn't even choose to correct him.

So people are just okay with letting their "friends," be racist? This is disgusting and unsettling

I get videos sometimes either on TikTok or Instagram showing braiders who work with young children and of course the videos of the extra tenerheaded kids get the most attention. I don't want to rant but it makes me so upset seeing comments filled with so much negativity toward the CHILDREN in these videos. So many comments about needing whoop them, how they are evil or "they know it doesn't hurt that bad", "they are purposely doing that", "if she stayed still it wouldn't hurt as bad 🙄". I even saw a comment on a recent one calling this little girl demonic 😩. It's like, they are children, they don't think like that and most of them are under 4 or 5 years old.

I was extremely tender headed as a child (still am) and omg, the pain!! Some of my worst memories was having to get my super thick hair done. And the pain for dayssss after 🥲

I understand some kids are just bad, and some have behavioral problems that need correction but I don't know, always makes me so upset to see. Like why can't we just giggle and keep it pushing.. Maybe it's because I work with children. I just want to see more empathy from our community with our little ones. What are your thoughts?