r/blackgirls

I’m kind of doing a little research project about black country music pre 2000s so anything 60s - 90s.

Is anyone selling their VIP tickets?? I will pay minimum $390 for them!!

Hiii, Looking to book a trip for october and thinking about Jamaica-Up to recommendations not in Jamaica though! It’s our first vacation together so really trying to enjoy with no kids around so preferably adults only

Edit: So I need real help! I have a family member who is just mentally not there. This family member is often in and out of reality, frequently claiming someone is watching them or spies are hacking their phone. Also accusing family members of the same. they have stopped bathing and have not done so for 4 months. they need to be supported but have enough capacity to handle basic finance and to know not to let themselves get committed. I don't want them in a psych ward but maybe supportive living. there is a child involved and I feel this is a danger to their mental well-being. I know they already currently get a disability check for their mental health. No one knows what’s going on or why this is happened. My family did try to get them committed at one point, but the police officer that was servicing the case messed everything up by confronting her first and prevented the psychiatrist from speaking to the family member first. Other times this family member simply ran away to another state. I just need genuine insight. Where can a family member go. There’s no one else that wants to take care of this person because of how drastic things have gotten. No one wants to throw them away, just somewhere they can have a place of their own and maybe some supervision _ a group home. They have essentially a codependent relationship with their child who they are living with along with a grandchild. The falling in and out of reality (specifically when it affects the grandchild leads to explosive verbal exchanges that I KNOW impact that child.) Please what can we do to get her living somewhere where she feels free enough to not run away but has supports. This family member lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

18f with 40o cup size, my bras are wide-strapped but they still dig into my shoulders and the friction is causing hyperpigmentation. i want to start wearing sleeveless tops but im a bit insecure because of it. is there a way to fix this?

Hi, I am planning to go to Vietnam during August or late July.

If anyone’s been did you guys wear braids? or would it be possible to wear a sleek hairstyle like a braided pony? I am just wondering If it would survive the heat/humidity.

Thank you :)

Do you have any people you follow that provide YouTube videos for working out? I’m nearly a beginner ax I haven worked out in nearly 7 years. Thank you! I was subscribed to pilatesbyraven but didn’t realize she felt like Pilates was a luxury.

Meat to put advice to flair, not skin care

As the title said, I had my first job interview In 3-4ish years,( Back story) I (22)am in Uni so I was really trying to focus on school (Pre-vet med), and I (moved) in a pretty dangerous city and my mother didn’t want me working in a lot of parts of it, and I don’t really know anyone here for connection to get a Job cause it’s a " you have to know somebody" type of city. So, I finally said, “On summer break, I’m gonna get a job no matter what” cause I like to shop- Anyways…

I scored an interview at a known retail book store chain and was super excited cause I love to read, and money- . I show up 25 minutes early, and the manger they told me that was gonna interview me wasn’t there, and there was a “mix up”, even the manager that was suppose to interview me said she’d be there, I ended up starting my interview 15 minutes later than it was suppose to start- Fine, whatever-I get interviewed by someone else, that’s not the problem.

**My issue**

Employees get 40% off, but they can basically only use it on books, and planner stuff ( no Legos, plushes, surprise boxes…etc), you know what- Okay, I like to read, as I said, fine.

But when the interviewer told me the pay was 9 dollars an hour, when I knew damn well when I applied online, I saw the job description 15 dollars an hour, that choked me up, that’s a 6 dollar difference! Then, we get paid on commission- 1 dollar per membership and an extra 50 cents if they have it on auto-renewal- Cheesing like that was the best thing since sliced bread. You know what, fine- I haven't been in the market for years, that’s okay. (It’s Trump's economy, anyway) Then proceeded to tell me the most hours I can get is 15; the best employee gets 20 at most. That means I would be getting paid (no commission or tax taken out) 135$ a week ( 270$ 2 weeks), who the *FAWCK* is servicing off of that?! Then she says, " our best employees got 50 extra dollars just from selling memberships on their paycheck, just from commission😗" Like, am I supposed to perk up at that!? Told me I could "work my way up to that [15$]'…BITCH FUCK YOU!

She said cause most of the employees are college students, it’s not a lot of hours, and they don’t want “us to get burnt out”, Bitch they're getting burnt out cause they can’t afford coffee, they can’t afford cr@ck with that!

Is this what the market has come to?! I understand why people have 2-3 jobs now, but I’m not doing it! I like money, and I like to work, but I’m not gonna be working a mini shift for 9 dollars an hour. I can’t even buy a full meal at Burger King or McDonald’s with that. I feel like a job should be paying you to where you can afford 1 fast food meal from Burger King or McDonald’s in 1 hour max! WTF is going on???

I know I sound like a spoiled and privileged brat to “Hustlers”- which I am 🤷🏽‍♀️ ( no shame, thx mommy ✨)- But this is ridiculous! Nobody should be making such a low amount anywhere, and nobody should be expected to take such an amount at any Job in this economy- It’s not physically substantial! That’s fucking slavery,

I literally went grocery shopping right after my interview and spent almost 600 dollars on food and home goods( for 3 people). The only reason we’re [ my fam] are able to pay our expense and still spend freely is cause the bills are so cheap, we ended up getting a house in a will, and my mom makes really good money [ not 6 figs but a decent amount] constrast to that for the 3 [ her, me and my brother] of us to live off her income and go still go to uni. I can’t imagine what it’s like for people who have nobody to lean on or families that are in the negative paycheck-to-paycheck situation. I am so sorry to those who can’t afford to survive, and honestly, you have all my respect and admiration for those who are pushing though and resilience to push through, cause ain’t *no damn* way I wouldn’t have clocked outta here! I am extremely grateful that my mother takes care of me and my needs while going to school.

I used to work at a small business bakery part-time, making 14.50 an hour and working 35 hours a week (average). When I was 18, I ended up moving (where I live now), and it’s just such an economic/cultural shock to me. I would think the small business would pay me less! Who do these corporations think they are?! They want people to be smiling while they eat their asses for 9 dollars and 15 hours. What the hell! Greedy fucks! They [ billionaires] want all the money, but what the fuck is the point? What do you do when you have all the money in the world?!

I honestly don’t even wanna try again, but I love shopping too much to give up, and I have another interview tomorrow somewhere else. I also got a good spot with the manager at the grocery store I went shopping at- hopefully they call me back cause they said starting pay is 15, I’ll even take part-time!

But, I’m still mad as hell! Hopefully, my other interview tomorrow will be better, my mom has a problem cause she said it’s in a bad part of town, but I really don’t care at this point. Anything's better than 9-15. They better not call me back, either! They properly wont cause when she hit me with that 9-15 I made a face of pure disdain (yt bitch had me all the way fucked up), I honestly was tempted to walk out. I know how much my time is worth, and- and fucking gas- and I know it’s not worth 135 a week. And I know I’m a good fucking employee cause all my previous jobs were upset I left and offered me more when I slid that 2-week notice.

I honestly just need enough hours/pay to get me enough money to afford to shop, save, and my driving classes, so I can get my license. Don’t judge me, I know I’m too old to not know how to drive, but I turn into SpongeBob behind that wheel, it’s safer for everybody if I get a teacher and my anxiety meds.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk ~💖 Sorry, ff Its a bit choppy, I would get ready to and want to add something new.

Ps. Tell me if I’m being unrealistic, I’ve been told I’m a bit idealistic and spoiled,-- have to come down to earth.

Y’all I have officially voted in my state for the FIRST TIME EVER!!! I hope y’all had a chance to get out and vote today 💜 Regardless of what you hear OUR VOICES DO MATTER MORE THAN Y’ALL KNOW!! ✊🏾✊🏾

So, I need advice seriously, I 24F started talking to this guy 31M, he doesn't live where I live so we met off a dating site, fast forward we had our first call a little while back, sometime last week, we spoke about how he wanted to fly me in just for a few days, for our first date, I was gonna have my own place and everything, he was suggesting protocols and language to make me comfortable enough not to freak me out because flying out conversations can easily get like that. Towards the end of the call, he goes and tells me to think about it and let him know and I agreed.

The next morning we spoke like normal, he told me about his day and I told him about mine, I didn't want to bring up the phone call because I didn't want to sound eager or thristy, following that day, the next day I did not bring it up again as to if I have agreed or not, he was joking with me talking bout how his day is getting busy and that I should enjoy my evening plans (I told him I had evening plans) so the conversation ended. That was last week Wednesday and I haven't heard from him till now? Its dead silent and I am so confused because he is really a chatter box. Communicates effectively, I know I've been ghosted but I am confused as to why?

UPDATE: I texted him saying that I was open to meeting him in person and seeing if he’s keen still and he said verbatim “unquestionably and absolutely still interested and wants to find out how he can work with my schedule to make sure I'm comfortable.”

Hi, I 23F am currently working full time and in nursing school full time as well. I am set to graduate December of 2027. So about 18 months away.

I have no support system. I live alone. I pay all my own bills like the average adult. But obviously trying to work full time AND handle lectures, labs, sims, and clinicals on top of it all I’m so tired and idk what to do.

As I stated before I have full bills to pay so it’s not like I have the luxury of just quitting to focus on school. But I don’t want to fall behind in school because I’m so tired I’m missing class or not able to study. On the other hand I don’t want to end up losing my job because I’m so tired from school.

I can’t get any loans, I don’t talk to any family I’m really not sure what to do I guess I’m asking for advice on how to get through these next 18 months.

Anything helps💕

Soooo.. hey yall black 23(F) here, been talking to this Hispanic dude on and off for about a year now. He came here illegally maybe four years ago and works construction around other Hispanics and African workers (will become relevant later).

His English was never that good, it’s improved in the time that we’ve started talking, but he had an European English teacher and works around Africans with a thick accent so his English is a bit finicky. Today while chatting on the phone we somehow got onto the subject of race and racism, me at some point asking if his family was racist too and him asking me the same. After telling him that my mother really just only dislikes white people (sorry it’s true LMAO) he proceeded to imply that was a good thing and that he was black, and then said he was “a nigga” 😐 The thing is though, he didn’t seem to be joking. I know the concept of race is a bit different where he’s from (Nicaragua, if they even have one) and he is a darker skinned Hispanic man working around other black folk, so the n-word usage didn’t really surprise me, however i immediately told him to never say that word and tried to explain (rather poorly) why he shouldn’t.

He didn’t continue to say it but I don’t know in what way I should have reacted and if I’m being too understanding or not understanding enough in this situation. I wasn’t surprised, and I want to be disappointed but I can’t say it wasn’t one of my fears/expectations with dating certain foreign men as I stepped out on this journey. How do yall feel about this? He’s a cool guy but would you cut him? I don’t think he meant offensive by it but does that even matter? Would I be wrong to continue to speak with him?

Be nice to me I’m new to this 😭

EDIT/UPDATE:

Based on the responses it’s sounding like I should have an additional conversation to set a stronger boundary and leave it at that. At this point if it happens again he’ll simply be blocked.

Lord have MERCY 😭😭😭

I’m Muslim, celibate, ain’t touched a man in a year because I said I’m waiting till marriage this time fr.

Cool.

SO WHY since I started taking the mini pill for skincare my hormones been acting like a nigga named Tyrone just got released from prison?????

I’m fighting for my LIFE.

I be texting this fine man regular normal conversation meanwhile my brain like:

“girl bite him.”

LIKE??? 😭😭😭😭

And no I don’t want toys before y’all start. Them shits feel depressing to me personally. I’ll stare at the ceiling and thug it out instead.

What’s pissing me off is men are so fine until they actually get access to you then suddenly they start acting like a podcast clip.

“i’m just protecting my peace rn”

NIGGA SHUT UPPPP 😭

That’s why none of these niggas deserve pussy anyway. Y’all be switching up immediately after sex. One minute it’s “you’re different” next minute they moving like a wounded raccoon.

So now I’m just celibate, hormonal, ovulating aggressively, and trying not to jump this brother I’m talking to.

Allah please lower my libido or send me a husband IMMEDIATELY cause this is getting ridiculous.

So, when i was in America, of course i experienced racism. I grew up in the south, so being an african american was the lowest tier you could be. But i moved to australia and got citizenship about three years ago and you will be surprised at how racist people can be when you aren’t the race they are critical of. They are not big fans of black people here, but to a lot of them, i am seen as an American african rather than an african american if that makes sense.

I have had conversations with people that have talked to ME about their abhorrent thoughts towards the sudanese, kenyans, and nigerians here and they feel comfortable saying those things because i am “american.” Also, its even worse when they talk to me about non-africans. They have expressly been racist towards chinese people and indian people as well and they express these sentiments to me as a person of color.

They are ABHORRENT towards aboriginals. They are critical of the people, the art, and when i expressed desire to go to aboriginal events, they advised against it as if they were doing me a favor.

Not being a criminal feels like the bare minimum. I’ve gone on dates that felt like a complete waste of time and some that made me uncomfortable.

What are y’all googling for, or looking up to make sure he’s solid ?

I just finished watching the first season of Off Campus on Prime and honestly… it was SO well done. I went into it expecting a cheesy romance adaptation and instead got genuinely good acting, chemistry, cinematography, emotional moments, etc. It was beautiful to watch.

But the whole time, something was bothering me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterward.

Every single main character is white. Every love interest is white. The Black characters and other POC are basically background or token characters. And I know people will say “well that’s how the books were written,” but it triggered this weird grief in me that I can’t fully explain. I’m not even bothered by the white casting itself, I actually think everyone cast was perfect for their roles. It’s more the realization that we as Black people rarely get this kind of representation in media.

Why do white audiences get so many fun, soft, beautifully shot romance stories where they get to just exist, fall in love, be messy, desirable, funny, attractive, human, etc… while Black stories are so often centered around struggle, trauma, oppression, or having to be “strong”?

Where are the high-budget, aesthetically beautiful college romance dramas with an all-Black cast? Where are the darkskin Black girls being loved softly, pursued, desired, and centered? And not in a way that feels low-budget, overly preachy, or rooted in suffering.

It genuinely made me sad because this show reminded me how often whiteness is treated as the default for romance and escapism. The default people who get to be the main characters in these soft, cinematic, emotionally rich stories.

And the thing is… I actually loved the show. That’s what makes this feeling so weird. I wasn’t watching it with hatred or bitterness. I was fully enjoying it while simultaneously grieving the fact that we rarely get to see ourselves represented this way.

I’ve been trying to read more Black romance novels to experience that same joy. My favourite one so far has been “Only for the Week” by Natasha Bishop. I absolutely fell in love with it. But that’s the thing, I wish we got those kinds of carefree novels adapted into movies for us as well. That’s why I liked You, Me & Tuscany so much. It felt like a great start!

Right now I’m in my early 20s, so I relate a lot to the themes in Off Campus. I just wish I had more coming-of-age stories centred around Blackness without harmful stereotypes, racism, or colourism. 

Anyways, this whole post basically turned into a journal entry to “air out my grievances” and I’m glad I got it out. Otherwise I probably would’ve drowned in bitterness lol.

And if you disagree with me, that’s okay too. I’d genuinely love to hear other perspectives. Just please be respectful haha.

PS. Feel free to drop in any movie/book recommendations ;)

TL;DR: I loved Off Campus and thought it was beautifully made, but it also made me realize how rarely Black people (especially darkskin Black women) get to see ourselves centred in soft, high-budget, romantic, emotionally rich stories like this. It opened up a weird grief in me because I want more carefree Black romance media that isn’t rooted in trauma, stereotypes, or struggle.

Grad day was on the 14th. Just wanted to share the news🫶🏾

It feels so weird to not have that weird feeling of anxiety after schools over because I don't have any assignments due 😭😭 But ya girls been in school every year since 2008 and I am TIIIRREEEDDD💀

Lowkey might go back for a masters in 2-3 years. I need money for that tho and to get rid of some of these student loans ✌🏾

I think I’m finally coming to terms with how low my self esteem has gotten in this relationship.

My boyfriend says things like he “doesn’t have confidence” that he can meet my needs, acts like basic affection (flowers, small gestures, dates) is asking for too much, and constantly complains about money, while spending nonstop on alcohol without a second thought.

I found him on dating apps. I found messages with other women. And when we first started talking, he slept with an old fling and hid it from me.

Somehow I kept forgiving everything and shrinking my needs smaller and smaller just to keep the relationship alive.

Sex was somewhat decent for a brief period, but he struggles with erectile dysfunction and I’m now to blame because I mentioned it.

Now I just feel emotionally empty. Like I’ve accepted so much disrespect that my heart finally has nothing left to give.

I want to love and be loved in a way that feels safe, wanted, and genuine… and I’m starting to realize I may never get that here.

I don’t even know what advice I’m looking for. Maybe just words from people who’ve been here before.

I’m just lost for words. Yes I know it was a situationship but he literally said he wasn’t ready for an actual relationship. He was the first guy I’ve ever gotten intimate with, and I honestly began to have a lot of feelings for him. As we got to know each other he would make it known multiple times that he would never get with a white woman. Me and him were together talking and I thought everything was good, until he randomly texted me saying “I think we should stop talking because we’re two different people”, mind you he texted this the SAME week we got intimate with each other and as I said I thought everything was good between us. It wasn’t until about a week later I saw him walking around holding hands with a white girl and I put two and two together; this man got into a serious relationship with this girl the same week we were intimate with each other.

Hi everyone, I’ve been on Zepbound for about 5 months now and with the online conversations around glp use, I thought I might lend my voice to anyone who may be thinking about it.

Some facts: I am currently on Zepbound 2.5mg and have been since January. This is the starting dose that everyone starts on. I get it through Lily Direct, the manufacturer for Zepbound as my insurance does not cover it. 2.5mg is $299 a pack, there are four vials in each pack. I inject it in either my arm or thigh with an insulin syringe.

Why I got on it: for almost all of my life I was a pretty healthy size for my height (5 foot, 125-130 lbs). Keep in mind though I ate like trash and never exercised. Barely ate vegetables growing up. I didn’t get my period until I was 17 though and even then, it was extremely irregular, I would go months at a time without getting it. But they were fine, it lasted 3 days and I never got cramps. In undergrad, I was put on birth control and it was fine for a few weeks but then I decided to stop after two months. Huge mistake because then my periods got longer and more painful but still very irregular. Fast forward to me getting married, I started bc again a month before I got married. My libido dropped significantly. After a two years, I decided to stop because I knew it was affecting me negatively in multiple ways. I also gained around 50 lbs. I started working out and eating healthy but the scale never budged. This coupled with my period becoming irregular again, I decided to go to the doctor and I was diagnosed with PCOS due to my irregular periods, weigh, and my inability to get pregnant. We weren’t trying but we weren’t using protection. I also had an enlarged ovary. I was put on metformin and I got pregnant, I kid you not, two weeks later. Bc I was pregnant, I stopped metformin.

After I gave birth, my baby was in the nicu for low blood sugar and size issues. He was born at 4lbs 7oz. All throughout my pregnancy people kept commenting about how small he was and that he was measuring 2-3 weeks smaller than he should. I then had an emergency c-section at 36 weeks and he was placed in the nicu bc his blood sugar was dangerously low and wasn’t stabilizing. Every single doctor that tested him asked if I had diabetes bc it didn’t make sense that he had blood sugar issues but I didn’t. I always was the passing score for the glucose test (if 59 was failing, I scored a 60). a doctor suggested it could’ve been my PCOS since it can affect hormones and insulin resistance but they couldn’t say it definitively since there’s no research on it. After a few weeks I started feeling really guilty about it. I started doing more research on PCOS when I read an article about how glps, specifically trizipetides were starting to be tested on PCOS and its effects. It literally took me no convincing to finally try it since I didn’t want this to happen to another baby since I want to have more kids. The weight loss is a great plus but I honestly just wanted to feel normal for once. I will put the name of the article below.

My experience/the cons: the first month was ROUGH. I lost 15lbs in the first three weeks, I was barely eating because I had virtually no appetite. I used to be someone who couldn’t go two hours without snacking and now I was only eating dinner, and the kicker is I was never hungry so I didn’t even feel it. I also lost all of my sugar and unhealthy cravings. No longer wanted cake, cupcakes, hot fries, fried foods, and my favorite, French fries. I only wanted really simple foods, albeit almost bland.

Now five months in things have stabilized. I’ve been losing .5-1 lbs a week if I actually go to the gym. If not, it’s stable but never goes up. I haven’t gone up a dose because I still have the positive affects and my doctor recommended that if I still feel good where I’m at, there’s no reason to go up even though it’s the standard thing to do.

I still struggle with the syringe lol takes me five minutes before I finally poke myself but it’s literally never bad.

The pluses:

My period is finally regular, I’m on a 28 day cycle and I know when I’m going to get it. This is sincerely the best plus since it’s something I’ve struggled with for more than 15 years.

My skin looks amazing.

I can eat a normal amount and no longer binge eat/eat more than I should causing me to be sick.

I crave healthier foods but can still have my unhealthy snacks in moderation. For example, instead of a 12 piece nugget, large fries, and milkshake combo from chicfila to which I will then eat a bag of chips an hour later, I do a five piece, medium fries, kale crunch salad and maybe a root beer slush if im feeling frisky (and even then I only drink half) and I feel completely satisfied.

My libido is back up.

Conclusion: this isn’t a post trying to convince you to get on it. There’s just so much misinformation and the assumption that people are only on it to lose massive amounts of weight that I wanted to dispel the myth. Also if there’s anyone else struggling with PCOS, specifically insulin resistance then I would look into it. I plan on being on it until medicine finds a better way to manage or cure PCOS, and hopefully my next baby won’t have insulin issues. Happy to answer any questions.

The study: Anala AD, Saifudeen ISH, Ibrahim M, Nanda M, Naaz N, Atkin SL. The Potential Utility of Tirzepatide for the Management of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. J Clin Med. 2023 Jul 10;12(14):4575. doi: 10.3390/jcm12144575. PMID: 37510690; PMCID: PMC10380206.)