u/SnoobNoob7860

i’m watching love is blind rn and one thing i’ve noticed on dating shows (particularly with audience commentary) is how much people push against women having a standard when it applies to men who the audience deems as “good”

this is to say, when a woman upholds a standard against a “bad guy” audiences tend to cheer her on

but when a woman uphold a standard against a “good guy” (at least least so far as the audience is concerned) then she becomes fucking Lilith / a She-Devil

it’s actually crazy because to some extent it shows that pick-me’s / other women buy into the “nice guy” complex, when he’s *genuinely* nice (again so far as they seem, because ofc no one really knows how that man is as a partner except the woman dating him)

it’s crazy to see in real time because despite women trashing the whole “nice guy” complex it’s as if they don’t actually get why it’s an issue

everyone knows that most “nice guys” are really just fake nice men that show women only the most basic kindness and decency for sex but it’s like women have lost the understanding that the real problem with it is that no matter how well a man treats you, they aren’t EVER entitled to you

also just because someone has some decent baseline partner qualities, it doesn’t mean they’re meeting your needs

i’m watching love is blind rn and one thing i’ve noticed on dating shows (particularly with audience commentary) is how much people push against women having a standard when it applies to men who the audience deems as “good”

this is to say, when a woman upholds a standard against a “bad guy” audiences tend to cheer her on

but when a woman uphold a standard against a “good guy” (at least least so far as the audience is concerned) then she becomes fucking Lilith / a She-Devil

it’s actually crazy because to some extent it shows that pick-me’s / other women buy into the “nice guy” complex, when he’s genuinely nice (again so far as they seem, because ofc no one really knows how that man is as a partner except the woman dating him)

it’s crazy to see in real time because despite women trashing the whole “nice guy” complex it’s as if they don’t actually get why it’s an issue

everyone knows that most “nice guys” are really just fake nice men that show women only the most basic kindness and decency for sex but it’s like women have lost the understanding that the real problem with it is that no matter how well a man treats you, they aren’t EVER entitled to you

also just because someone has some decent baseline partner qualities, it doesn’t mean they’re meeting your needs

some of the post i’m seeing like “mogging for a black girl” come off so white male in terminology that it has to be cosplaying but the sheer frequency of post that ultimately say some variation of “i’m black but” is CRAZY

are people here okay?? do they just not think highly of themselves and are projecting race into it??

it’s genuinely concerning

i’m not even saying to post about all the “loves and laughs” but why no troll posting or circle jerk posting? like just genuine good times / good banter vibes, swear those only happen once in a blue moon on here

Hi, I am not sure where else to post this but is anyone struggling with not being their partner’s type?

For me, it’s not so much about a purely physical element tbh. It’s the racial element too. I know people try to say that doesn’t matter but have to hard disagree, especially when it’s one specific demographic and you’re not part of it.

Anyway, I know on here that many people are usually struggling with some baseline insecurity and are told to work on that. I’m not saying there’s no insecurity attached to this worry but I’d argue it’s not some personal issue but more so a societal element of how race works. I don’t care about the relationships themselves. A person with the same amount of history but variety in look (even if not someone of my exact demographic) would not bother me.

It’s not even a sexual thing - she’s a virgin, hasn’t even done more than kissing. I’ve been attracted to non-virgins and didn’t have an issue with this.