u/PappaNee

Hallo, om de situatie zo duidelijk mogelijk uit te leggen:

Ik(26) zit al iets meer dan 3 jaar met aanhoudende pijn in mijn lichaam, voornamelijk in beide onderarmen en enkels. Hierdoor ben ik eerst bij de fysio beland, toen de pijn erger werd belandde ik vorig jaar in de ziektewet.

Terwijl ik hiermee door de jaren heen worstel, woon ik al die tijd nog thuis bij mijn moeder. Grof gezegd, ze heeft helaas geen ene zak geholpen of begrip getoond voor de situatie waar ik in zit (in het begin, nu is het ten minste verminderd en helpt ze me soms).

Voordat ik in de ziektewet zat uitte ze dat voornamelijk door mij te dwingen handelingen te doen waarvan ze wist dat het me pijn zou doen, dit kwam omdat ze me niet serieus wilde nemen. Één voorbeeld dat ik hierover kan geven is dat ik haar ruim van tevoren informeerde over een dry-needling behandeling die ik had bij de fysio, dezelfde dag dat ik die behandeling had moesten we naar Den Haag. Ze had een zware koffer meegenomen en dwong me het de tillen.

Ook vroeg ik een keer aan haar of ik vrij kon nemen van werk doordat ik zo veel pijn had, haar eerste reactie was om met haar ogen te rollen. Weer werd ik niet serieus genomen.

Toen ik uiteindelijk in de ziektewet belandde stribbelde ze heel erg tegen en het enige wat uit haar strot kwam was hoeveel ik nu zal verdienen en hoe snel ik weer aan het werk kon gaan.

De eerste paar weken toen ik in de ziektewet zat was dat het enige waar ze het de hele dag door over had.

De pijn was zo intens dat ik niks kon doen qua huishouden. Ook al was ze duidelijk hierover geïnformeerd, had ze meteen de slechtste aanname en begon ze meteen te roddelen met mijn neef over of ik wel echt pijn heb of niet. Tot de dag van vandaag is ze nog steeds daarmee bezig, er zijn ook verschillende keren geweest waarin ze me gewoon uitschold doordat ik in huilen uitbarstte ivm de pijn. Ik heb 2 zelfmoordpogingen achter de rug ivm mijn thuissituatie en de aanhoudende pijn waar ik mee zit.

Eerder dit jaar had ik een breakdown door de pijn en barstte ik weer in huilen uit, toen begon ze pas sympathie te tonen. Vanaf dat moment hield ze wat rekening met me en stelde ze voor om mee te gaan naar medische afspraken. Ik twijfelde hierbij, maar dacht dat ze me misschien kon helpen als ik belangrijke info was vergeten dus liet ik het toe.

Ondanks dat ze nu een beetje begrip heeft voor mijn medische toestand, heeft ze nog altijd geen begrip voor mijn mentale toestand. Dit heeft ze door de jaren heen meerdere keren laten merken.

Ik had gisteren namelijk een afspraak bij de ondersteunings-psycholoog, daar moest ik een paar vragenlijsten invullen over hoe de pijn mijn leven beïnvloedt en of ik erge dingen mee had gemaakt.

Toen ik klaar was liep ik samen met mijn moeder het ziekenhuis uit, ze vroeg naar de inhoud van de vragenlijsten en ik zei dat één ervan vragen had over levensbedreigende omstandigheden. Haar eerste reactie erop was dat ik niks had meegemaakt, en het was op zo'n toon gezegd alsof ze wel beter wist en mij ervan wilde overtuigen; terwijl ik wel beter weet.

Als dit nu al haar reactie is bij de ondersteunings-psycholoog, vraag ik me af hoe gemeen ze gaat zijn na de afspraak van de psycholoog. Ik heb haar al meerdere keren gezegd dat ze niet mee hoeft te komen maar ze dringt zichzelf de hele tijd op en gaat dan toch weer mee.

Hierdoor is mijn vraag aan jullie, wat is een manier waarop ik ervoor kan zorgen dat ze wegblijft wanneer ik een afspraak heb bij de psycholoog? En als het echt niet lukt om haar afstand te laten houden, hoe kan ik haar om de tuin leiden zodat ze dat wel doet? (Ik weet dat het niet eens nette oplossing is, maar ben echt ten einde raad)

I'm so tired of her commenting on unimportant bullshit all the time. She KEEPS paying attention to every little thing i do or say to correct it and it's EX-HAUS-TING like, she really has nothing better to do.

Like today i was early for an important appointment and while waiting she makes it a whole thing that i HAVE TO BE respectful towards the doctors and specialists i'm seeing. Which i already am, mind you, the only thing she says i should do is address them with "u" (formal way to say "you") instead of "je" (informal way to address someone).

The reason why she says i should do it is because they all happen to be older than me, she loves to act like i'm still a child who NEEDS to respect adults. Mind you, i'm already an adult as well and when ppl who are older disrespect me they never have to respect me according to her. THEN she has nothing to say. I'm tired of her stupid bullshit all the time.

She's so controlling over EVERYTHING i do, she needs to leave me the fuck alone!

This is more a confession than a discussion, but there's no appropriate flair, so sorry for that.

It serves no purpose whatsoever but when i run into an online account of someone that i haven't seen in years, i like to send a message to remind them of how racist they were to me, how they treated me and insult them in the process lol.

The petty part is that i immediately block them after insulting them to avoid a pointless discussion afterwards. I know this doesn't serve ANY purpose whatsoever, i'm not even sure that the message even arrives after blocking them, but it sure feels cathartic to me

Srry for the wrong flair, vent isn't rlly an option in this sub.

Just wanted to put some thoughts out there. I naturally gravitated towards panning, as in, i took part in it without initially knowing what it was.

Once i found out it had a name, social media vids and posts got to me and i started treating it like a race which immediately soured the experience for me. I had to reset my mindset for a minute.

Another thing is, that panning atm is boring for me.

I miss getting to look at new art supplies and having the possibility to buy it haha. Looking at vids and posts online of what i like and could possibly get isn't helping, but i know project pan is necessary and i'll keep it going.

Hi i'm completely new to this sub. Tho i already participated in the behaviour this year before even knowing what it was/meant lmao

I feel like using those bingo cards will feel make planning into some kind of game, which seems extremely fun!

Tho i don't see any bingo cards from August or this month, where do you guys get your bingo cards from?

So this was extremely odd, but i expected nothing less tbh. Because of new 'uprising' of the alt-right for a while (for lack of a better word, dk how else to say it), i had strangers giving me weird/'fearful'/hateful looks whenever i went outside. It sometimes went as far as strangers calling me the n-word with hard r.

I sometimes experienced ppl talking about my looks as well and today was no different. I just didn't expect it to happen while waiting for my McDonalds order of all places.

These two teenage girls were insinuating to each other that i looked like a man, saying: "THAT is actually a woman, so weird!". After they didn't get a reaction they kept talking about me and mentioning to each other that i was looking at nothing (why would i? I was just waiting for my order and nothing else or less). This went on for A WHILE and when they STILL didn't get a reaction from me, i could see one of them trying to get slightly more in my sight, trying to get my attention.

At this point i was getting annoyed cuz i just wanted to mind my own business and then gtfo, so i turn my back towards them and they start saying "Oh now you can't see it, when she turn her face slightly you can." Whatever tf that was about idk.

Not long after i could get my order and i gtfo so i could mind my business in peace. To anyone wondering why i didn't say anything that whole time, it's because this isn't my first rodeo and out of experience i know that if u give ppl like that attention they'll see that as an excuse to get all up in your face about it.

I'm not gonna bitch against teenagers to potentially get the cops called on me, would seem like a waste of my time. It was EXTREMELY weird and uncomfortable tho, i'll give u that.

That weirdly enough wasn't the end of the weirdness i encountered today, i went grocery shopping afterwards and got called the n-word. I turn around to see who tf said that and it's some girl blacker than me?! I get that i live in a white country, but wtf is up with my ppl in here having a racist superiority complex?! She of all ppl should know what it's like to get called that word, so sad that some ppl fall for that.

I just had to put it out there, if u got this far thx for reading i guess.

Done. That's the fucking rant. Doesn't matter if i put in effort or not when she asks me to do smth, if i do it wrong she immediately INSISTS i'm doing it on purpose.

She did it today as well, when i told her it's not the case she IN-SIS-TED again that it's not the case. I almost cried trying to prove her wrong CUZ SHE FUCKING IS!! Immediately assuming that i dont have the receipt so whatever wrong thing i bought can't be returned. She always assumes the worst.

Why even ask me to do anything then???? Go do it yourself!!!!

I was outside today and it's crazy how hard strangers mind someone else's business. I get that i was still in sportswear and wasn't really dressed to buy smth, but not ONE second did that woman keep her eyes off me and it was a HATEFUL stare too!

I was in a store today and wanted to buy some yarn to crochet, it's quite busy so i can't pay immediately, i get in line and this w woman gets behind me and just keeps STARING at me! Like can i help you?? Lol

She proceeds to say smth about me looking tired in this annoyed voice i think she really wanted my attention. Anyway, once i payed for my stuff i get out the way so i can put everything in my bag without getting rushed.

MIND YOU this woman passes by me and A-GAIN keeps looking at me, i'm talking about her heading towards the elevator and doing a full-on 180 just to stare angry lol. This bitch had a whole stroller with her AND two kids, how do you have two kids and still mind someone else's business??? I gave her like 1 millisecond of attention and then minded my own.

Cuz of people like this i've mastered the art of ignoring, you can sit in your hate but never take it out on me 😌

If i can even call it that, idek since i've been dealing with her since childhood yet i never had a point of reference to compare her with. This is also gonna be about a non-issue, since she can get mad at the smallest stuff, but i just wanna get some insight on this.

This evening i sat with my mom for a few hours in the living room and asked my cousin who just came home to turn on the light. I wanted to draw and couldn't see properly.

I went back to my room about 30 mins ago, but didn't think about turning off the light like i did last time. I just simply forgot. A few mins pass and she calls out to me to turn off the light, but i honestly felt like it was almost unnecessary hassle since she wants the lights to be off in the exact room she's already in. It would've been easier to turn it off herself, i know this train of thought is childish of me but i stayed put. I REALLY didn't feel like it.

So i hear her get up to turn it off, immediately come to my room and sarcastically says: "Thanks for turning off the light now i had to do it myself!"

She got REALLY angry that i didn't do it. The type of anger where her voice gets lower and louder and i felt fear, which i know by now is not a normal reaction to smth so trivial. Now i'm left with an awful feeling and the way she was talking to me keeps repeating in my head

However i'm just wondering is her reaction normal? Idek anymore, i'd like some tips, tricks and how to deal with it? Thank you in advance

Ok i certainly don't wanna make light of sh, but it got me in a quite funny situation today.

I had occupational therapy and was planning to sh after. Since i relapsed pretty badly today, i went to the bathroom afterwards and right in the middle of my relapse the lights turned off! Mistakenly thinking there were motion sensors lights installed i waved around my hand in the dark like a dumbass, but no, turns out that the lights were turned off because the place was gonna close! I had to feel my way around in the dark just to get out the bathroom lol.

Luckily i had my phone with me so the flashlight came in handy. Once i got out i had to leave the waiting room, but the door to and out of the waiting room was locked!

Luckily the janitor on the other side of the door saw me and was trying to talk to me, sadly i couldn't make out what she was saying; her words sounded jarbled.

I had to clarify that i was a client and that i couldn't get myself out, thankfully she had the keys.

We had a good laugh and i joked about almost staying the night 😂, i thanked her and went on my way. Thank god the entrance door wasn't locked!

Ok i certainly don't wanna make light of sh, but it got me in a quite funny situation today.

I had occupational therapy and was planning to sh after. Since i relapsed pretty badly today, i went to the bathroom afterwards and right in the middle of my relapse the lights turned off! Mistakenly thinking there were motion sensors lights installed i waved around my hand in the dark like a dumbass, but no, turns out that the lights were turned off because the place was gonna close! I had to feel my way around in the dark just to get out the bathroom lol.

Luckily i had my phone with me so the flashlight came in handy. Once i got out i had to leave the waiting room, but the door to and out of the waiting room was locked!

Luckily the janitor on the other side of the door saw me and was trying to talk to me, sadly i couldn't make out what she was saying; her words sounded jarbled.

I had to clarify that i was a client and that i couldn't get myself out, thankfully she had the keys.

We had a good laugh and i joked about almost staying the night 😂, i thanked her and went on my way. Thank god the entrance door wasn't locked!

It was insane and intense, with so many realistic elements in it. Threw me for a loop once i realised what i dreamt about, actually self harmed afterwards as well since i woke up feeling so numb.

I remember being so desperate to hide it and trying my hardest to not seem suspicious while doing so, almost felt too realistic for it to be a dream. The only things that weren't realistic were the depth and the fact i destroyed furniture with IT as well lol, that makes it kinda funny to think back on it