r/EsotericOccult

I have a post before out this. I've got into esoteric occult knowledge when I came out of Christianity it made sense to me it gave me something to believe in. I tried to go back to christianty 3 years ago I had basically switched ip on my entire beliefs system. It basically made me go insane I went into a psychosis. Ever since that happenen I been having a battle on what to believe in. I got really deep into consciousness energy the universe etc...

I keep going back and forth trying to reinforce my beliefs in this esoteric knowledge thinking it's the absolute truth and that I need to believe in it. Honestly I don't think this type of knowledge is for me anymore it's constantly on my mind I've stress myself out so much over this stuff it's the only thing I think about i feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. My thoughts are so much I constantly think and dwell on this occult knowledge im so tired of it all going back and forth in my mind. I been trying so hard to leave it hehind me. My mind keeps pulling me back into these rabbit holes. I just want my life back my mind back I don't want to go into another psychosis I don't think I can take another episode I put much on my mind i wish I never did this to myself I only want to focus on my own life it's giving me susidal thoughts that the only way I'll ever have peace is if I kill myself I've experienced paranoia before last year i really need my mental health to get better I deleted all my spiritual photos videos facebook everything that has to do with spiritually i put way too much mental thoughts into it man I really want my life back I do see a therapist

I told them that I wanted to let go of spirituality

Maybe I should really tell my therapist because everyday is a mental struggle for me I want to let go of this whole beliefs thing it made sense to for a while but if it's making me dwell and think so much it's not for me any longer

I been into esoteric occult knowledge for years since 2015. When I came out of Christianity. Understanding about ancient spirituality. About the ancient temples and pyramid. About consciousness and energy. How the bible has esoteric occult knowledge. Back in 2023 i tried to go back to christianty for whatever reason. Which was my biggest mistake I went into a psychosis ever since that happened i kinda been going back and forth with my beliefs. Recently it's gotten kinda back to where i go back and forth. At times I'm to believe like I use to. Then there are times where I tell my that I need to give myself a break from all the esoteric occult knowledge. It's kinda like I'm having a mental conflict. It's gotten to the point where it's all I think about occult knowledge is always on my mind constantly everyday all day. I almost don't even recognize my own mind anymore. I've tried to forget about it all i know I can't do that because I stress myself out even more and it's something I've been into for years.

Should I just take a long break from all the occult spirituality knowledge? Because I've actually decided to stay away from all spirituality like videos facebook photos it's just becoming too overwhelming

It has my thoughts in a repetitive loop constantly thinking about the occult i feel like I'm going crazy somtime

Maybe i have a mental health problem because I'm constantly thinking about it I was on meditation but It's not really working like it use to

I've even had suicidal thoughts because of how uncomfortable my thoughts have become it's making me think too much I get caught up in my mind i try not to think about it but my mind pulls me back into the rabbit hole. I keep thinking about consciousness and energy

The universe energy frequency vibration the pineal gland kundalini energy universal energy reincarnation how we are energetic beings serect societies i can seem to stop thinking about the ancient and how they build astrology and mathematics into these ancient temples and how they are designed as the human body like the temple of karnak in Luxor Egypt how the ancient were more in tune with the universe. Just feels like my mind is stuck in the rabbit hole. Any advice? I do go to a therapist but I feel like i can't really tell them everything that on my mind they would probably call me crazy or delusional. I probably need a different kind of medication I think I have a overthinking problem too many thoughts

I honestly don’t really know how to start this post because I’m still a pretty skeptical person when it comes to esoteric topics, magic, manifestation, law of attraction, etc. I was never really a “believer” in any of that. But a few things have happened to me that felt way too strange to simply ignore, and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar with runes or symbolic intention work.

Some time ago I had a very serious issue with a platform I use to receive payments for my work as an illustrator. My account ended up permanently suspended and for over a month I kept appealing without getting any real help. My entire career was basically hanging by a thread. Usually, even when these suspensions are system mistakes, they almost NEVER get resolved (I know colleagues who went through this and never recovered their accounts or money). I genuinely felt like years of work could disappear overnight, and the uncertainty was destroying me mentally.

In the middle of all that desperation, a Facebook post randomly appeared on my feed in a group discussing runes and people’s experiences using them. I got curious and ended up reading 200+ testimonies. At that point I was desperate enough to think:
“Well, I have nothing to lose by trying.”

I drew these runes on myself:

• Eihwaz (protection/endurance)
• Algiz (protection/forward movement)
• Sowilo (clarity/light)

And the only thing I asked for was clarity. I literally said something along the lines of:

“If this path is no longer meant for me, then make it clear. I’ll accept it and find another way to move forward. But if it IS meant for me, then please, I need a solution because I can’t handle this uncertainty anymore. Whether the answer is good or bad, I just need clarity.”

Less than 24 hours later I received an email from a support worker (in Spanish, my native language, from a man named Juan — which was already EXTREMELY strange considering the context, because the platform only operates in English and all support had previously been in English) telling me he had personally reviewed my case, restored my account and even left everything functioning better than before.

Obviously my first thought was:
“Okay… coincidence.”

But it genuinely left me thinking because realistically there had been NO chance of this happening.

And then yesterday, almost 3 months later, something else happened.

My husband has spent almost 2 years working in a very toxic work environment because of one specific person there. She’s an older woman, extremely conflictive, constantly trying to be the center of attention, constantly oversharing very delicate and deeply personal things about her life, seeking male validation and creating tension around everyone. A lot of people at his workplace find her exhausting because of how aggressive and emotionally unstable she can become.

She has made rude and dismissive comments about me, my alternative appearance and my relationship with my husband. We’re a young married couple (I’m 25, he’s 32), extremely united and emotionally connected in a way I’ve honestly never experienced before. We both always felt a very strange resentment coming from her toward us, especially toward how close we are. Multiple times she indirectly tried to create tension between us and honestly almost succeeded during some really difficult moments in our lives. That’s something that still makes me angry and sad to think about.

Yesterday I decided to draw runes on myself again, but this time focused on protection and transition for my husband, since he wants to change jobs and move into something more online-friendly because of his disability. I did NOT ask for harm to come to anyone or anything like that. I only asked for him to leave that horrible environment, find a better path and “stop being surrounded by so much negativity.”

I drew:

• Algiz
• Berkano
• Raidho

And I focused on protection, growth, a healthier environment, movement toward something better and for him to “be as peaceful as possible.”

Less than 24 hours later, this person suddenly suffered a severe blood pressure episode at work (to the point she almost convulsed — according to my husband her eyes were rolling back) and had to leave urgently. According to him, nothing like that had ever happened before.

And honestly I’m now in this really strange middle ground where I do NOT blindly believe in these things, I don’t think I’m some kind of witch or anything like that lol, but at this point the coincidences feel way too synchronized.

To add something even stranger:
When I was a child (around 11 years old), my mother took me to a spiritualist temple because I had told her I used to see things when I was younger. The “Pai” (the man leading the session and the temple) asked to speak with me privately. He told me I had a strong connection/sensitivity toward these kinds of things and that it was up to me whether I wanted to develop it or ignore it, but that I supposedly had “a lot of potential.” He said all of this without knowing me at all, and honestly he transmitted a lot of peace and kindness.

I never paid much attention to it because I grew up being very rational and skeptical (I’m also autistic, so I always assumed I simply processed things differently), but looking back, I feel like my entire life has been filled with strange moments, weird intuitions or coincidences that felt way too precise.

I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore.

I just know the timing of all this makes me feel a little unsettled — not in a bad way, actually the opposite — because even if these ARE “just coincidences,” it still feels incredibly strange that they happened so closely together and almost exactly within 24 hours of each time I used the runes.

Has anyone else experienced things like this using runes, sigils or symbolic intention work? Especially drawing them on the body rather than using them for divination?