r/ExCopticOrthodox

My local Coptic church actually does have some very nice people and community and I’m getting involved with them again, but mostly for cultural reasons and as said the people. There’s an older woman who’s very nice and has been very good to me. I have started to attend meetings and the first one was actually nice. Despite the meeting focusing on the Bible and such, the people were welcoming and the environment was friendly.

However, i am still reluctant to join liturgies and she has been encouraging to attend. She thinks the reason that I’m hesitant to go is because I don’t want to confess but I just don’t have the heart to explain that I just am no longer religious and have no plans to return to Christianity.

Are there any other closeted nonbelievers who are in a similar position where they attend church to be with other Egyptians/copts but don’t actually take the religion itself? Ty

I'm Egyptian and legally Christian, and I've been with my boyfriend for several years. I love him deeply.

I personally don't care about religion and I'm comfortable keeping my beliefs private. What I care about is having a wedding. I've always imagined getting married in a church, having my mum, family and friends there, and celebrating together. Under the current Egyptian legal system, there isn't another legal marriage option available to us as Egyptian Christians.

My boyfriend is atheist and strongly rejects priests and the Church because of the harm he believes religious institutions have caused. His position is basically: "Whenever I have the opportunity to move away from priests and their authority, I will. Why would I voluntarily participate in that system?"

I understand his position and respect that he wants to stand by his beliefs. But I see participating in the ceremony differently. To me, it doesn't necessarily mean endorsing the institution or accepting its authority over my beliefs.

For people who strongly rejected religion or religious institutions: how did you learn to separate participating in one specific ceremony for someone you love from endorsing the institution-and figure out whether refusing was protecting your values or allowing your rejection of the institution to limit your own choices?

There's also a deeper issue on my side involving my mum. She's older, very religious, and has already been through a lot. She genuinely believes that if I don't marry in the church, I'm putting myself in danger of hell and that it's her responsibility to prevent that.

I know a non-church marriage (by moving abroad or something) would cause her a lot of anxiety and pain. Since I personally don't object to a church wedding, part of me thinks: If I can have the wedding I want and let my mum experience it peacefully, why wouldn't I?

But I also hate that she's getting older. I want to spend more time with her and make her happy while I can, and I'm terrified of someday looking back and thinking I could have given her more happiness or less pain and chose not to.

At the same time, I don't want my past or my fear of losing her to determine my future. I don't want to make major life decisions just to avoid future regret.

For people who have struggled with aging parents: how did you learn to separate genuinely wanting to care for your parent from fear, guilt, or anticipated regret-and build your own life without feeling like you're abandoning them?

What makes this especially painful is that my boyfriend and I have been working really hard on our relationship and had finally started making progress. I was feeling understood and hopeful about our future-marriage, a home, traveling together, having my family around, and finally feeling like I'm actually living my life.

Now this conflict has appeared right when I started believing in that future.

I'm not looking for someone to tell me who is right or wrong. I'm trying to understand how both of us can make decisions based on what we value today without being controlled by our past, our fears, or the fear of future regret.

I'd really appreciate perspectives from people who have actually lived through something similar.

At the same time, I don’t want my past or my fear of losing her to determine my future. I don’t want to make major life decisions just to avoid future regret.

For people who have struggled with aging parents: how did you learn to separate genuinely wanting to care for your parent from fear, guilt, or anticipated regret—and build your own life without feeling like you’re abandoning them?

What makes this especially painful is that my boyfriend and I have been working really hard on our relationship and had finally started making progress. I was feeling understood and hopeful about our future—marriage, a home, traveling together, having my family around, and finally feeling like I’m actually living my life.

Now this conflict has appeared right when I started believing in that future.

I’m not looking for someone to tell me who is right or wrong. I’m trying to understand how both of us can make decisions based on what we value today without being controlled by our past, our fears, or the fear of future regret.

I’d really appreciate perspectives from people who have actually lived through something similar.