r/FuckeryUniveristy

A customer came in and said that your cleaning machine is at the bus stop. The coach ran out and brought it back in. Even the robots had enough

Nobody likes surprise penis. There’s nothing worse than turning around and getting a nasty surprise.

The last 2 weeks have have been all about surprise penis. Zeke has been out of control. He’s been putting his penis everywhere he thinks it’ll get some attention…. In Sissy’s face, in my face, rubbing on my chair, rubbing on the couch, & rubbing on tall grass just to name a few. Hell, if he could get in Papas lap, he would put I in papas face too. It’s been exhausting and more than a little out of control.

I wasn’t prepared for a lot of things when I got a male puppy. Having 25 years of greyhounds, bitches only, was not even an iota of the experience I’ve received in the last 3 months. Little boys are decidedly different. I’ll be honest and say I like bitches better, they’re my kinda women.

So, this brings me to last Friday when I sold the Family Jewels. The nuts went rancid and had to be thrown out. I let the helium out of the balloons. I took them to the ball taxidermist to have them bronzed and mounted. The snip-snip happened, and my boy has two deflated little sac’s that are greatly reduced from their former glory. They look decidedly sad. I almost feel bad. Almost.

So now that I’ve made all the fellas in the room uncomfortable, my mission is complete. We will be having a funeral for Zeke’s testicles this week, please RSVP if you wish to attend to say your good byes. Zeke is seeking donations for a replacement pair. Wish him luck.

Fizz

Rabid Beaver Attacks on the rise

Rabid Beaver Attacks on the rise. Sounds like an Onion headline, but its for reals.

They see only this hallucination and no other imagery. This happens only when the mushroom is not cooked long enough.