A shitty moment
About 14 years ago I got sent out to do a regular system maintenance. I was told this was a new customer and to leave a really good impression because she's a lawyer that works in the court house.
One of the judges there is our customer. We service his house and he gave her our number.
So, I arrive , at this nice looking mini Mansion with a marble floor entrance. She answers the door with cleaning gloves on, and cleaning spray in her hand. Very polite, points to the basement entrance so I can go to the unit. Then immediately gets on her hands and knees (full business attire)to scrub what already looks like a clean floor.
Tells me "sorry I have to clean this floor and get out of here soon". I mentioned briefly "what happened to the floor?". She said "nothing , I just like cleaning, I can't stand even the smallest speck of dirt".
This triggers red flags to make sure I'm as clean as possible around the unit.
No biggie.. anyway...something I ate. I don't know. My stomach started rumbling. I held it in but eventually had to take a dump so bad I couldn't hold it too much longer. I noticed a bathroom immediately next to the room I was working in. But I figured since she's a clean freak, maybe I asked her to use her bathroom.
I walked upstairs and asked her if I could use her bathroom. She was still scrubbing the floor. She smiled and said "sure go right ahead". She was literally next to the bathroom on the first floor but on her knees...
I didn't want to walk next to her so I just went back downstairs to use the bathroom next to the unit.
As soon as I got in, i flicked the light switch and it didn't turn on. I can clearly see the toilet from the light shining in from the room, but no toilet paper. I peaked into the cabinet and there was nothing. So I went outside to my truck to grab a box of tissue and use that. By the time I got back downstairs to the bathroom I was about to explode. I turned on my flashlight , shut the door and immediately exploded on the toilet.
After about 5 min I wiped a few times , stood up shut the lid, went to flush....But the toilet didn't flush. Just a loose handle. I'm like wtf...so I lift the top lid off, shine my light down it and I realize it has no water in the reservoir. It's dry as a desert... I lift up the seat , and no water in the toilet! Stunned, I flash the light in the back to see if the valve is closed and that's when I see.... The f'n toilet isn't even connected. I flash my light around and realize it's an unfinished bathroom.
I'm in complete panic at this point. I know she's gonna find it, I know she's gonna know it was me and her being the clean freak she is...she's gonna probably cancel all her appointments and call in a quarantine company and of course Its gonna get back to my boss and jeopardize the account.
So I have to think fast. My shop vac. I pull that in and suck it all out. Mostly. But theres still fresh stains and smears all over the inside of the toilet.
So I run to the laundry room, fill up my bucket with water and dump it in with some green cleaner and suck, dump.and suck. Until it's pretty much unnoticeable.
As soon as I get done and leave the bathroom...she's literally standing behind me. "Did you just use that bathroom?".
I said "no no! I was gonna dump water out but realized it was empty and not connected" she says "omg thank God ....I wouldn't lost my mind
...you can dump it in the slop sink and eww what is that smell?"
I'm like....the drains! I cleaned your drains...the water in there smells terrible but you're good now!
Very close call. I ended up just tossing the whole shop vac in a dumpster. $150 out the window. I had to explain to the boss( another lie) that I dropped the vacuum climbing the ladder and it smashed so I had to throw it out. He then asks me "why did you need the vacuum for an RTU?"
I said For the drains, he starred me down and said "you've been using a vacuum for that this entire time? Why? All you have to do is tap out the p trap." More lies I eventually just said I enjoy going over the drain pan with a vacuum. He said not to do that anymore, he doesn't need anymore vacuums being dropped off buildings.
The next morning he calls me into his office and says "did you pour anything down that ladies toilet?". More lies...."no... Why?". He said she was just curious she didn't know why it was damp inside it when she went to clean it And saw you poking around in that bathroom...try not to use customers bathrooms anymore.
I hope you enjoyed this. Next time a light doesn't turn on in the bathroom....make sure the toilet is connected.