r/HereForABro

Hey, i’m 30 m , from north london , born and bred!

When I heard the two words ‘’men’s community’ I instantly thought ‘lads, lads, lads’ and ‘football and beer’. My worst nightmare.

Throughout the end of my twenties, my entire world was turned upside down. Every single thing around me collapsed and broke down around me. I’m talking relationships, ‘friends’, work, mental health, fitness, and my life. To be blunt, I felt worthless and lost. I wanted it all to be over.

I was randomly scrolling through reddit, and saw a viral post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Upon reflection of my mood that day, I think my body finally had enough of being depressed. I had enough of crying, feeling miserable etc, and somehow mustered up the courage to really take that leap of faith in reclaiming my life back.

Truthfully, at that point, it was the bravest thing I had done. I went to my first event, introduced myself and was welcomed in straight away. I never told anyone that I was in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years or I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I walked away feeling welcomed and valid. Like a lightbulb switched on!

Over January, I really felt like I worked up the courage to really reclaim myself back. For the first time, in a very long time, I slowly began to really feel like myself. The version who was buried, suppressed, abused was emerging with 2.0 qualities.

I had to push myself out of my own comfort zone, plenty of times, but be open and give it a real shot. It worked. I slowly began to make genuine friendships, build meaningful connections and most importantly my confidence skyrocketed. A brilliant example of this was, if someone told me to do public speaking, I would have froze, now I confidently speak to 30-50 men in a room all the time.

Why am I posting this now?

This is to any person, who feels like the world is big enough but not accommodating for them, or they feel like there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel and you want to expand your social circle. You can, you will, you deserve too.

I took a chance and walked into my first ever event not knowing anyone, and who would’ve thought, that was the best decision I made.

I am starting up peer support group for men only in Minneapolis. I have also been through this and I know what it feels like and I also know there were plenty of support groups out there for women and none for men. If you're in our area and looking for help, please check into it https://luma.com/9wy49eoc