u/EdwardBigby

Hey, i’m 30 m , from north london , born and bred!

When I heard the two words ‘’men’s community’ I instantly thought ‘lads, lads, lads’ and ‘football and beer’. My worst nightmare.

Throughout the end of my twenties, my entire world was turned upside down. Every single thing around me collapsed and broke down around me. I’m talking relationships, ‘friends’, work, mental health, fitness, and my life. To be blunt, I felt worthless and lost. I wanted it all to be over.

I was randomly scrolling through reddit, and saw a viral post from Shoulder to Shoulder. Upon reflection of my mood that day, I think my body finally had enough of being depressed. I had enough of crying, feeling miserable etc, and somehow mustered up the courage to really take that leap of faith in reclaiming my life back.

Truthfully, at that point, it was the bravest thing I had done. I went to my first event, introduced myself and was welcomed in straight away. I never told anyone that I was in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years or I was deeply struggling with my mental health. I walked away feeling welcomed and valid. Like a lightbulb switched on!

Over January, I really felt like I worked up the courage to really reclaim myself back. For the first time, in a very long time, I slowly began to really feel like myself. The version who was buried, suppressed, abused was emerging with 2.0 qualities.

I had to push myself out of my own comfort zone, plenty of times, but be open and give it a real shot. It worked. I slowly began to make genuine friendships, build meaningful connections and most importantly my confidence skyrocketed. A brilliant example of this was, if someone told me to do public speaking, I would have froze, now I confidently speak to 30-50 men in a room all the time.

Why am I posting this now?

This is to any person, who feels like the world is big enough but not accommodating for them, or they feel like there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel and you want to expand your social circle. You can, you will, you deserve too.

I took a chance and walked into my first ever event not knowing anyone, and who would’ve thought, that was the best decision I made.

I like how I look in the mirror but every time I see a photo from behind I feel like a need a big change. Going to turn 30 at the end of the year and looking to get it sorted before then.

​

I havent tried growing it longer and trying a comb over but I assume that wouldnt really work

​

I was thinking of trying a buzzcut first. I have no idea what length blade- 2? 1.5? 1? Will I still have the same issue with my crown will all these cuts or does the buzzcut make it a lot less prominent

​

Then of course I could just do the full bald cut.

​

Also planning on growing some facial hair because I think with less hair on top, I should grow some to compensate. Ive never been able to grow a strong full beard but I can grow enough to have something to work with. Any advice there too would be appreciated.