r/ISTJ

Okay, so I'm an ENTP and I have this ISTJ friend. Whenever I ask to hang out he asks for a specific plan before he agrees. But it's not like a plan as in he needs to know when and where he also needs to know what we're doing. I don't really tend to plan out stuff unless there is a specific thing I wanted to do when I asked to hang out. I get knowing time and place beforehand, because otherwise there's logistical issues, but what do you gain from having the literal day's itinerary planned out beforehand? The way I see it is if we plan it out beforehand that means that if I pass something cool I wanna do I just... can't.

I was working on a script for my podcast a couple weeks ago based on a discussion my friend and I had. This was my first attempt at a more “philosophical” episode instead of the self-improvement/productivity ones I had been posting thus far. However, upon recording and editing the episode’s audio, I realized there were a ton of logical flaws and ideas that probably should‘ve been addressed but never were. Overall, I realized my reasoning came off as overly simplistic. I considered discarding the draft completely and starting from scratch, but I had already invested a lot of time making edits to it. I figured I’d be editing the current draft forever if I decided to start from scratch, as I’d keep finding flaws in my reasoning. In the end my Te kicked in, and I decided to post the episode as it was, with an added message saying that there would be a follow-up episode. This was much faster than rewriting the whole script.

So that’s my recent Ti-critic story. What’s yours?

I’ve been feeling anxious lately because for weeks, my ISTJ husband has seemed unusually distant and preoccupied. Less talkative, always busy on his phone/laptop, and not very emotionally reassuring.

This morning, he sent me a full itinerary. Turns out he was busy planning a trip for us the entire time. He said he didn’t want to say anything until he sorted out the logistic and budget.

The entire time I was internally SPIRALLING…convincing myself something was wrong between us. Even after 20+ years of marriage I still get blindsided sometimes.

I(NTJ) was asked to give a speech today unexpectedly. I had little time to prepare. After the speech, I went straight to her to leave the venue as we had a lunch scheduled.

My professors and peers stopped me on the way out to congratulate me and told me I did really well, which I didn’t expect. I turned to my istj friend who had a very sullen expression on her face. She seemed off the entire day, and treated me as if I did something wrong.

It happened another time where I got an answer right and she just went quiet.

She cheered up by the end of lunch though.

She’s smart too and she knows it, so why is she unhappy when others have their turn?

I clown myself by making fun of my hair and clothes to make her feel better, but she still just… makes me feel bad?

Any advice, ISTJs?

Edit: Thanks for the suggestions guys, idk who downvoted them all but I upvoted all the helpful ones !!

Say something that someone told you which suggests you’re an ISTJ without actually saying outright that you’re an ISTJ

Hey ISTJs!

I'm an ESTP and I want to ask you something genuinely and respectfully.

Why do you guys love structure and routine so deeply?

I ask this with zero judgement because honestly as an ESTP who lives entirely in the present moment and thrives on spontaneity I find your relationship with rules, tradition and procedure genuinely fascinating even if I don't fully understand it.

Here's what I notice about ISTJs that both impresses and puzzles me:

You are the most quietly reliable people I have ever encountered. While everyone else is improvising and figuring things out on the fly you already did what you said you would do exactly when you said you would do it. That level of consistency genuinely amazes my ESTP brain.

You seem to find genuine comfort in routine. As someone who finds routine almost suffocating I genuinely want to understand how a structured predictable day feels good rather than restrictive to you.

You hold everything together behind the scenes without needing recognition. ISTJs are often the quiet backbone of any group, team or community. How do you do that so consistently without needing the spotlight?

You think before acting in a way that my ESTP brain physically struggles with. Your patience and thoroughness is genuinely impressive even when it frustrates spontaneous types like me.

Honestly ISTJs I think you don't get enough credit for how much you quietly contribute everywhere you go.

My questions for ISTJs:

1. Does spontaneity genuinely stress you out or just feel unnecessary?

2. How do you experience more spontaneous types like ESTPs?

3. Do you find your love of structure misunderstood by others?

4. What do you wish other types understood about why structure matters so much to you?

5. Do you secretly find spontaneous people interesting or just exhausting? 😄

Genuinely curious to understand your world better!

— An ESTP who finds ISTJs fascinating even when we drive each other crazy 😄

I am an infp (f) and I have a massive crush on istj (m). We're in early dating phase! Any advice?? Also how do you know your a priority or they like you alot??

This communication style isnt something Im use to. I usually pour out all my thoughts and feelings and im learning very quickly yall dont really do that.

Hey everyone, I’m an ESTP-T currently in a relationship with an ISTJ, and I’m trying to better understand your perspective on texting. I’ve noticed she tends to:

send short / to-the-point replies not text much throughout the day not really match energy (even when I’m more expressive)

From my side, I naturally:

send longer texts or voice memos try to keep conversation going sometimes overthink when replies feel dry or short and get anxiety from that

I’m not trying to change her, I just want to understand what it actually means from an ISTJ perspective.

An ISTJ I’ve been texting daily randomly FaceTimed me and said my texts were “so different” and that he wanted to make sure I was real 😂

I genuinely can’t tell if that’s an ISTJ compliment, curiosity, or subtle concern LOL. I didn’t ask directly what he meant.

When you guys give compliments, are they usually subtle like that?

I’m an INFP, and I think my whole life I’ve been perceived as kinda quirky/weird haha. It’s been interesting watching the contrast between my rambly Ne style communication and his much more grounded, sincere communication style. I love to talk to ISTJ types, you guys are comforting to talk to. ☺️

I had a thought about an ISTJ character I'm writing, how would they handle certain undeniable truth that in a year if they do not uproot their entire life and forget who they are entirely and that if any traces of their past remains, they are destined for a horrible inescapable fate? If you were told to completely forget about your past identity, routines, beliefs and ideals and transform yourself into someone completely unrecognisable by the end.

How would an ISTJ handle news like that no matter how many times you verify you know this outcome to be true? What do you think you can forget easily and what do you think is hard? What would stress you out the most? Would that even be possible? I'm curious to see how this would work for Si doms.

That is, bad by even average ISTJ standards.

Could this work out and be compatible or incompatible? Im in a long distance relationship with someone who is an istj and im an intp. We started dating pretty recently but one of the obstacles we run into are his structure and simplicity and my complexity and analytical nature. We also are both autistic and have adhd, we bond on shared experiences and relatability with emotions and struggles but our interests are very different with only some things in common. I also tend to be very spontaneous and he dislikes that and Im trying to be better. What should I do and could this work?

Both can be black and white in their approach to things, but what type would you say is more black and white in their approach and which side can be in the gray area at times about certain things? If you had to bring up examples and cognitive functions too?

So I did my mbti test on the internet (the very first website after searching “mbti test”) and I got ISTP a few times, and twice in a row a few months ago. But after looking at the description, it really didn’t resonate with me, especially me being a builder and calm under pressure. The only thing it got right was that I choose logic, practicality and realism over emotional approach. After doing some research, they said that I fit more to be an ISTJ

My personality:

1. I am the opposite of calm under pressure. Whenever there is pressure, I lose confidence easily. Whenever I do a mistake and people scold me, get mad at me, or point out that what I did was wrong/bad I get easily dejected and emotional.
2. I like having a solid plan rather than improvising. I like it when I need to follow things step-by-step. But when things go wrong, I don’t know what to do.
3. I prefer logic, realistic approach rather than the emotional sides of things.
4. I love doing things with my own time, but I also enjoy the company of others.
5. I am quiet and like to observe people, but sometimes I am talkative.

Though I am perceived as quiet, introverted and nonchalant by my peers.

1. Social energy: Sometimes I get drained sometimes I do not. Depends highly on my mood, the people whom I talk to, and occasion.

I'm aware of how dry my mouth is because I got an unknown cut on the side of my tongue that hurts when I drink water, and it disturbs my function. Even eating is torture. Why, body why?

Despite millions of years of evolution, how can we still accidentally bite our tongue even when eating at a 'casual' pace? And then the bitten place swells up and becomes minor ulcers.

This post is me trying to relate how attuned we are to bodily sensations that this little thing can ruin our experience as a whole, ugh.

What are your icks about the state of your body that you can't just ignore?