u/Abolish_Disorder

I’ve seen several therapists over the past 10 years and had no luck. They’ve ranged from completely useless to condescending.

One therapist told me to drink coke every day if I felt tired. He also told me sleep apnea doesn’t exist, even though studies show it indeed does.

The next therapist wouldn’t even give her perspective when I’d ask her what she thinks. She’d just say “nope, nothing else to add.” I felt like I was talking to a wall.

One session with another therapist turned into a debate when I told her I didn’t want to change to please others, and she called me “difficult and uncharismatic.” I told her she was the worst therapist I’d seen during the next session.

I’m currently seeing one for sleep specifically. I tried to be as forthcoming as I could so she had more data to work with and could give me better advice. I tried the stuff she suggested, and it’s honestly useless. I’ve tried other things that she didn’t even recommend and it’s working a little, so I honestly don’t really see the point of her.

I’m wondering if any other ISTJs have had similar experiences with therapy and are frustrated with the whole process.

For me right now, it’s deep dives about the history of esotericism on YouTube. What’s yours?

For some context, I’ve gone through a few friendship breakups over the past few years. The first one was the toughest, since I’d never gone through friendship drama before, and I had a hard time navigating. Despite that, I think I learned a lot from that first breakup, so I was able to walk away from the other two friendships without letting them ruin my emotional well-being too much. I admit the last two friendship breakups are still uncomfortable to think about, though.

Anyways, I confided in an XSFJ about what happened. They told me that they’re worried I’m going to end up without a support system one day, and that loneliness is tough. I said I’m cool with that if it means I’ll be at peace with myself. There's actually a saying in Spanish about this: "Mejor solo que mal acompanado." She also told me I needed to be more likable if I’m going to survive in the workplace, where people in power tend to favor those they like. I said I don’t want to fake charisma to make friends and climb the social ladder.

While I stand by what I said, I also know that there’s actual research saying that people with close friends tend to have longer, healthier lives. However, I don’t really see myself going out of my way to make new friends anymore.

So here’s my question. Are there any ISTJs who consider their lives happy and healthy despite having no friends? If so, what habits or mindsets do you maintain to keep your life that way?

I’ve seen this shitty comeback used a lot to silence anyone who refuses to frame Britney as a victim online. Britney being a woman does not dissolve her of criticism or blame. This annoying take also allows her fans to sidestep any criticism of their fave by appealing to dumb group morals, which is illogical and manipulative AF.

Britney was clearly doing better mentally and physically during the conservatorship, yet her fans still delude themselves into thinking she's living her best life now that she's free. Uhm...Britney has lost her mind, hair, and teeth. 😟 The restrictions Britney had during her conservatorship were there for a reason.

I also think freedom is a double-edged sword. It's not inherently good or bad, but it's what you do with it that matters. Britney is using her freedom to self-destruct despite having the resources to access the best treatment.

I’ve been struggling with insomnia all summer, and I’ve done everything in my power to solve it (talked to my doctor, identified triggers like blue light, researched mind techniques for sleep, etc.).

I only got two hours of sleep last night. I woke around midnight and was unable to fall back asleep. I went downstairs and started sobbing. My mom heard me and asked what was wrong. I told her I was sick of feeling depressed and fatigued during the day because of insomnia, and that I haven’t felt like myself all summer.

I know crying isn’t a bad thing, and that it made sense to react that way after months of dealing with insomnia and trying to find solutions. I also know insomnia makes me more emotional, as the lack of sleep fucks with my brain chemistry.

My parents are also one of the few people in my life I feel comfortable being vulnerable with. But I still can’t help but feel weak, embarrassed, and dumb after breaking down crying. Can any other ISTJ’s relate?

I like to choose things for myself, and I take pride in my own decision-making. If I make mistakes, then I’ll know what NOT to do in the future, but I can be at peace knowing I didn’t make those decisions to please anyone.

When people give me unsolicited advice, I feel like this process is disrupted, and it annoys me. It bothers me even more when the unsolicited advice is something I’ve already considered or done.

That said, I admit that sometimes the unsolicited advice is valid, and I’ll begrudgingly accept at least part of it.

Especially as the >!headmaster of the DWMA!<, after the events of the manga.

What kind of main character would he create? Would the story take place IRL or in a fictional world? What themes would he explore?

I’ve read the descriptions of both Enneagram subtypes across various sources, and they sound very similar, as both tend to have an emphasis on “warmth” and planning to mitigate potential obstacles. I’ve tested as both in different Enneagram tests.

I definitely have both 1w9 sp and 6w5 sp in my tritype, but I’m not sure which one is “stronger”, as both subtypes have a focus on safety and stability, which I can relate to.

I can easily come up with worst-case scenarios but only feel relief if I take some sort of action to prevent them from happening.

Dignity is something that matters a lot to me, but it feels like a personal ideal that I can never meet. If I don’t speak my mind about something important to me, then I feel an immense sense of shame. I tend to be more at peace with myself when I say what I really think and feel, even if it causes some awkwardness. I actually don’t know which would be worse—to lack security and safety or to become a spineless hypocrite.

Have any other ISTJs had trouble determining which of these two Enneagram subtypes they were? If so, how did you settle on one?

I've tried downvoting on my phone and computer, but whenever I refresh, the downvote is undone. This has been happening across various unrelated subreddits. I tried clearing my cache and re-downloading the app, but nothing works. How can this be resolved?

I’ve noticed recently that when someone states an unpopular opinion or something critical, sometimes another person will come at them and accuse them of “projecting.” This has happened to me as well as other people online, even if I try to be respectful in my criticism.

Accusing someone of projection is such a lazy comeback. First off, you know nothing about the other person’s private life or personal struggles, so how can you know for sure if they’re projecting? It’s also a lazy way of debating, as you’re completely ignoring the content being discussed to attack the other person’s character. In other words, it’s an ad hominem wrapped in mainstream psychology speak.

Suppose Death the Kid is overcome with the Madness of Order as the new Lord Death and headmaster of the DWMA. How exactly would that manifest, “symptomatically?” Would he just be destroying everything that’s unbalanced indiscriminately, or something more?

I have so many examples. Just last night, I noticed that the WiFi in my home was completely down. This was a huge issue a few months ago, requiring back and forth phone calls between different customer service reps. Logically, I knew that this issue could be entirely different, and I was making assumptions that the internet was down for the same reasons as last time. Regardless, I made a note to myself to call customer service the next day. I even sent a few practice text messages to see if they were going through with no WiFi, cuz if they weren’t I’d have to step outside to send them. The next morning, the WiFi worked fine, and I realized I had come up with an entire plan for nothing. :/

I also find myself drafting emails or making a list of questions to ask in the future. I even schedule when I should send the email or when I should ask my questions. That way, when the time comes, I can just hit send or I’ll know exactly what to ask to get the info I need. Of course, things change sometimes, and I end up not having to use the drafts or questions I planned beforehand, making me feel like I over-strategized. :/

Do any other ISTJs have similar experiences or stories?