r/LoveLanguages

Before you judge by the title i 31 F want to say i am so grateful for this man 32 M. The flowers are so so sweet and this post is really to show how withholding the truth isn’t that bad. On one of our first dates he picked me some wild sunflowers; sunflowers are not my favorite honestly but it was just such a sweet gesture! Now he buys me sunflowers every time we are at the store and even bought me a sunflower necklace for my bday. He says they remind him of me. Now i could tell him i don’t care for that type of flower but why? It’s not the flower it’s the sentimental value that seriously makes me melt. I think this is a secret I’ll keep between me and Reddit 💕

I actually really do like psychical touch but I don’t know how to do it or like even initiate it 😭 i really need some help I feel so awkward wanting to grab their hand

I always knew I was words of affirmation but because my mom was acts of service, I thought I was too until I realized I wasn’t. When you take out the trash or make me food I actually feel ignored, not special. I had a boyfriend who was physical touch and quality time but I think he was just saying he liked sex and we never hung out and when we did I always felt a pole was keeping us apart and then when he wanted sex we’d be close again like I never felt like I knew how to connect with him. But I am words of affirmation and quality time. And when a guy starts touching me, I get really uncomfortable and it ruins the vibe. I’m not the type of girl who likes to give a man a second chance.

I'm just curious how you guys deal with this.

My partner definitely loves me—I don't question that. He shows it by caring for me, helping me out, checking if I've eaten, making sure I'm safe, stuff like that.

But when it comes to words... he's just not expressive at all. No pet names, no random "I miss you" texts, no cheesy romance. 😂

Sometimes I wish he'd pamper me with words a little more, but I also know not everyone is built that way.

So I'm curious:

\* What's your partner's love language?

\* If they're emotionally unexpressive, how do you deal with it?

\* Did they get more expressive over time, or did you just learn to appreciate the way they show love?

\* And if you're the emotionally reserved one, why is it so hard to express your feelings even when you love someone?

Just wanted to hear other people's experiences because I'm sure I can't be the only one in this situation.I never had a relationship so to be honest ai don't know the reality I'm only familiar with the filmy unrealistic romance

I need help. Touch has never been a top, love language for me, now or ever. Like bottom of the list almost always.

I’m older and in a new marriage and the more he annoys me the less I wanna touch him. I worry it’s going to take its toll.

I literally could go weeks and months without it. He wants it constantly (in my opinion).

From those who care about their partners and maybe have a little touch aversion … how do you try to make them happy?

I do all the crap the book says: try to hold his hand, try to give a hug, he gets laid once a week-ish, try to make a point to cuddle for a little bit, but it never seems to be enough.

I have a small child and maybe going through perimenopause - could be attributing to my … mood.

Thanks in advance for useful idea and being kind.

I’ve (31F) been seeing a guy (33m) for about a month. We’ve had a few ups and downs already, mostly around communication. Overall, we enjoy spending time together, we have good chemistry, and when we’re together he seems comfortable and affectionate in his own way.
The thing I’m struggling with is that he’s not very emotionally expressive. He has told me he’s never really been in a serious relationship before, and he doesn’t naturally talk about his feelings. He rarely initiates emotional conversations, doesn’t often say things that reassure me, and sometimes I have to ask for affection or physical touch rather than it happening spontaneously.
On the other hand, when I bring up something that’s bothering me, he doesn’t dismiss it. He listens, explains his perspective, and says he tries to put himself in my shoes. He also has some ongoing stress involving work, which he says has affected how much emotional energy he’s had recently.
I’m someone who’s naturally very expressive and values words of affirmation, so I’m wondering if we’re simply different in how we communicate. I don’t expect grand romantic gestures after only a month, but I do wonder whether his lack of expressiveness is because he’s inexperienced, emotionally reserved, or just not that into me.
Has anyone dated someone who had never really been in a relationship and wasn’t emotionally expressive? Did they become more open over time, or did they pretty much stay the same? How can you tell the difference between someone who’s simply reserved and someone who’s not invented

I had a senior in my team at work (24M) who treated me very kindly. I was 22F at the time.

He wasn't generally known as a warm or caring person, but with me he was often supportive and protective. I later found out he had stood up for me with seniors who were giving me a hard time, even when I wasn't present. He encouraged me to stand up for myself, told me he'd protect me as long as he was there, helped me prepare for presentations that weren't his responsibility, encouraged me to study and work on my career, and used to tease me by calling me "Madam" even though I was his junior. I insisted on calling him "Sir" even though he repeatedly told me I didn't have to.

He also noticed small things. If my mood seemed off, he'd ask if everything was okay. He explained things patiently, reassured me when I doubted myself, and generally looked out for me at work. Because of this, I felt very safe around him. I had other friends at work, but with him I was careful to maintain a professional relationship.

At the same time, he kept strict boundaries. We never really spoke outside work. The only times he called me personally were to help me with a presentation and once when I was sick, to check on me and remind me to take my medication.

What confuses me is that he seemed genuinely invested in me, yet also careful not to let the relationship become too personal. Some days he was warm and playful; other days he seemed distant and restrained. Even though I wanted to be his friend and get to know him better, I respected his space and never tried to force a connection.

Nothing romantic ever happened, and we were never close friends outside of work. However, he had a significant impact on my confidence and career growth. He helped me become more confident in myself.

From an outside perspective, how would you interpret this kind of behavior? Does it sound like mentorship, protectiveness, attraction, or something else? Is it normal to invest in someone like this without expecting anything in return?

Guys, what are the things you expect from your girlfriend without always saying them out loud? (For example: reassurance, effort, small gestures, etc.)