u/Puzzled_Wealth_3263

I have a bad habit of thinking that everything is black and white. I‘m a math major and because of it, I always think that “things must be this way and if they’re not, I’m wrong.“

For example, I like someone but I have a tremendous trouble accepting that he likes me as well. The signs are there, but because of fear of rejection I stay completely still. I have this stupid thought that “If he wanted to, he would” is real and I don’t think of any other external factors.

”He’s busy with his job —> therefore I can’t meet up with him —> he doesn’t like me”

Unfortunately, I’m an anxious person and I think that if things end up this way, I was wrong all along, thus I was delusional. I don’t have a gray area. If one thing goes wrong out of all the good ones, it means I’ll never try again about X.

Do you have a similar problem? What is your advice?

I have a bad habit of thinking that everything is black and white. I‘m a math major and because of it, I always think that “things must be this way and if they’re not, I’m wrong.“

For example, I like someone but I have a tremendous trouble accepting that he likes me as well. The signs are there, but because of fear of rejection I stay completely still. I have this stupid thought that “If he wanted to, he would” is real and I don’t think of any other external factors.

”He’s busy with his job —> therefore I can’t meet up with him —> he doesn’t like me”

Unfortunately, I’m an anxious person and I think that if things end up this way, I was wrong all along, thus I was delusional. I don’t have a gray area. If one thing goes wrong out of all the good ones, it means I’ll never try again about X.

Do you have a similar problem? What is your advice?

How do I know that he likes me when talking through a phone call? I don’t mean like suggesting to hang out/meet up or idk giving compliments. I mean like the tone of his voice, prolonging or not the convo etc. Is talking while grinning a sign? I need help!

How do I know that he likes me when talking through a phone call? I don’t mean like suggesting to hang out/meet up or idk giving compliments. I mean like the tone of his voice, prolonging or not the convo etc. Is talking while grinning a sign? I need help!

I (F21) like someone (M22) for some years now (since 2023) and he likes me from 2019-2026. We‘ve never been a couple, plus some major things have happened between us.

Last year in the summer of 2025, while we were talking he invited me to go to an island with him where he’d do his mandatory internship (he’s a coast guard, and the uni he majors in, obliged him to do so. Yes that happens in the country we both live in). He wanted to invite me for 3 days, ALL PAID FOR. I declined due to exams, and he answered to me with respect.

Anyway, many months later, I phone called him and while we were talking I said

”While you’ll be away again to a different island, I’d surely come and visit you some time.“

And he says;

“Hahaha of course, you’re more than welcome to come to the island!”

He said that without missing a beat. Ever so naturally.

Now, he’s at his new island, and a couple of days ago I messaged him. While we were having a small chat about his island, he didn’t say anything about inviting me there like he did last year. Did he expect me to say to him “I’ll come” cause I said so in the phone call? Or this year he’s just not feeling it anymore?

Here‘s a bit more about last year’s invitation;

https://www.reddit.com/r/bodylanguage/s/6GblxXc3TP

I (F21) like someone (M22) for some years now (since 2023) and he likes me from 2019-2026. We‘ve never been a couple, plus some major things have happened between us.

Last year in the summer of 2025, while we were talking he invited me to go to an island with him where he’d do his mandatory internship (he’s a coast guard, and the uni he majors in, obliged him to do so. Yes that happens in the country we both live in). He wanted to invite me for 3 days, ALL PAID FOR. I declined due to exams, and he answered to me with respect.

Anyway, many months later, I phone called him and while we were talking I said

”While you’ll be away again to a different island, I’d surely come and visit you some time.“

And he says;

“Hahaha of course, you’re more than welcome to come to the island!”

He said that without missing a beat. Ever so naturally.

Now, he’s at his new island, and a couple of days ago I messaged him. While we were having a small chat about his island, he didn’t say anything about inviting me there like he did last year. Did he expect me to say to him “I’ll come” cause I said so in the phone call? Or this year he’s just not feeling it anymore?

Here‘s a bit more about last year’s invitation;

https://www.reddit.com/r/bodylanguage/s/6GblxXc3TP

I (F21) like someone (M22) for some years now (since 2023) and he likes me from 2019-2026. We‘ve never been a couple, plus some major things have happened between us.

Last year in the summer of 2025, while we were talking he invited me to go to an island with him where he’d do his mandatory internship (he’s a coast guard, and the uni he majors in, obliged him to do so. Yes that happens in the country we both live in). He wanted to invite me for 3 days, ALL PAID FOR. I declined due to exams, and he answered to me with respect.

Anyway, many months later, I phone called him and while we were talking I said

”While you’ll be away again to a different island, I’d surely come and visit you some time.“

And he says;

“Hahaha of course, you’re more than welcome to come to the island!”

He said that without missing a beat. Ever so naturally.

Now, he’s at his new island, and a couple of days ago I messaged him. While we were having a small chat about his island, he didn’t say anything about inviting me there like he did last year. Did he expect me to say to him “I’ll come” cause I said so in the phone call? Or this year he’s just not feeling it anymore?

Here‘s a bit more about last year’s invitation;

https://www.reddit.com/r/bodylanguage/s/6GblxXc3TP

I (F21) like someone (M22) for some years now (since 2023) and he likes me from 2019-2026. We‘ve never been a couple, plus some major things have happened between us.

Last year in the summer of 2025, while we were talking he invited me to go to an island with him where he’d do his mandatory internship (he’s a coast guard, and the uni he majors in, obliged him to do so. Yes that happens in the country we both live in). He wanted to invite me for 3 days, ALL PAID FOR. I declined due to exams, and he answered to me with respect.

Anyway, many months later, I phone called him and while we were talking I said

”While you’ll be away again to a different island, I’d surely come and visit you some time.“

And he says;

“Hahaha of course, you’re more than welcome to come to the island!”

He said that without missing a beat. Ever so naturally.

Now, he’s at his new island, and a couple of days ago I messaged him. While we were having a small chat about his island, he didn’t say anything about inviting me there like he did last year. Did he expect me to say to him “I’ll come” cause I said so in the phone call? Or this year he’s just not feeling it anymore?

Here‘s a bit more about last year’s invitation;

https://www.reddit.com/r/bodylanguage/s/6GblxXc3TP

I (F21) have a crush on someone (M22) for some years now (we have a very complicated history together. Never been a couple). And he used to like me from 2019-2026(?).

I put a question mark cause I don’t know if he likes me till this year, so here it goes;

We bumped into each other this April, and when he saw me and asked me how I am etc**, he opened his arms, took a step towards me and said with a smile; “Come here and let me hug you!”.

It was an electrifying bear hug. (My arms under his shoulders, and his arms over my waist!). I never thought he’d hug me.

Right after the hug, he was as red as freaking tomato.

So why did he become red after the hug? Do men only hug women they like? Or do they do it to look like more approachable and friendlier?

One more thing. We’ve known each other since 2015.

I (F21) have a crush on someone (M22) for some years now (we have a very complicated history together. Never been a couple). And he used to like me from 2019-2026(?).

I put a question mark cause I don’t know if he likes me till this year, so here it goes;

We bumped into each other this April, and when he saw me and asked me how I am etc**, he opened his arms, took a step towards me and said with a smile; “**Come here and let me hug you!”.

It was an electrifying bear hug. (My arms under his shoulders, and his arms over my waist!). I never thought he’d hug me.

Right after the hug, he was as red as freaking tomato.

So why did he become red after the hug? Do men only hug women they like? Or do they do it to look like more approachable and friendlier?

One more thing. We’ve known each other since 2015.

I (F21) like a guy (M22) for 3 years now. He used to like me from 2019-2026(?)

I put a question mark there, cause I don't know if he still does till this day. We've have had many ups and downs (more ups than downs).

He was in a rebound relationship 2 years ago (yes, I admit it.. it was because of me), that ended badly. He doesn't trust women that easily anymore, and unfortunately he doesn't know/trust the intensity of my feelings for him... He's afraid that I'm lying to him.

Anyway, precisely one year ago, he got sent to an island to do his mandatory internship, and I sent him a "have a good trip" message. (I talk every 2-3 months to him). He said thank you, I'll do this and that in the island etc. Sent him some more wishes and I left him on read.

Then without me asking anything else, he initiates this message:

"And why don't you come to the island at the end of August for 3 days? I can host you so you don't have to pay for accommodation fees"

He said end of August, cause he'd leave from the island and come back. What I'm saying is that, he wanted to spend his last days on the island with me, all paid. Just the two of us. I politely declined, and told him I can't go due to exams. He said "Oww, that's a pity. But it's okay, exams come first, good luck with your exams!"

Is there a chance that he still likes me to this day? Yes, some good things have happened again between us, but nothing like an island invitation!!!! I'm super afraid and anxious, cause I can't lose him again, and I'm afraid if his feelings have changed! Help me...

I (F21) like a guy (M22) for 3 years now. He used to like me from 2019-2026(?)

I put a question mark there, cause I don't know if he still does till this day. We've have had many ups and downs (more ups than downs).

He was in a rebound relationship 2 years ago (yes, I admit it.. it was because of me), that ended badly. He doesn't trust women that easily anymore, and unfortunately he doesn't know/trust the intensity of my feelings for him... He's afraid that I'm lying to him.

Anyway, precisely one year ago, he got sent to an island to do his mandatory internship, and I sent him a "have a good trip" message. (I talk every 2-3 months to him). He said thank you, I'll do this and that in the island etc. Sent him some more wishes and I left him on read.

Then without me asking anything else, he initiates this message:

"And why don't you come to the island at the end of August for 3 days? I can host you so you don't have to pay for accommodation fees"

He said end of August, cause he'd leave from the island and come back. What I'm saying is that, he wanted to spend his last days on the island with me, all paid. Just the two of us. I politely declined, and told him I can't go due to exams. He said "Oww, that's a pity. But it's okay, exams come first, good luck with your exams!"

Is there a chance that he still likes me to this day? Yes, some good things have happened again between us, but nothing like an island invitation!!!! I'm super afraid and anxious, cause I can't lose him again, and I'm afraid if his feelings have changed! Help me...

I (F21) like a guy (M22) for 3 years now. He used to like me from 2019-2026(?)

I put a question mark there, cause I don't know if he still does till this day. We've have had many ups and downs (more ups than downs).

He was in a rebound relationship 2 years ago (yes, I admit it.. it was because of me), that ended badly. He doesn't trust women that easily anymore, and unfortunately he doesn't know/trust the intensity of my feelings for him... He's afraid that I'm lying to him.

Anyway, precisely one year ago, he got sent to an island to do his mandatory internship, and I sent him a "have a good trip" message. (I talk every 2-3 months to him). He said thank you, I'll do this and that in the island etc. Sent him some more wishes and I left him on read.

Then without me asking anything else, he initiates this message:

"And why don't you come to the island at the end of August for 3 days? I can host you so you don't have to pay for accommodation fees"

He said end of August, cause he'd leave from the island and come back. What I'm saying is that, he wanted to spend his last days on the island with me, all paid. Just the two of us. I politely declined, and told him I can't go due to exams. He said "Oww, that's a pity. But it's okay, exams come first, good luck with your exams!"

Is there a chance that he still likes me to this day? Yes, some good things have happened again between us, but nothing like an island invitation!!!! I'm super afraid and anxious, cause I can't lose him again, and I'm afraid if his feelings have changed! Help me...

I (F22) told a guy (M22) during a phone call that I liked his mustache that he had, and right after that, he went dead silent for a few seconds and then said "Really...?" like he didnt believe I just offered him a compliment. Then with a smiley speech he said "Yeah a couple of people have told me about it- like 3---4 that I know.". So my question is, if several people have told him about his mustache aka: complimented him, why did he become startled when I said the same compliment as others have said? shouldn't he be accustomed to that comment? why reaction?

I (F21) told a guy (M22) during a phone call that I liked his mustache that he had, and right after that, he went dead silent for a few seconds and then said "Really...?" like he didnt believe I just offered him a compliment. Then with a smiley speech he said "Yeah a couple of people have told me about it- like 3---4 that I know.". So my question is, if several people have told him about his mustache aka: complimented him, why did he become startled when I said the same compliment as others have said? shouldn't he be accustomed to that comment? why reaction?

I told a guy during a phone call that I liked his mustache that he had, and right after that, he went dead silent for a few seconds and then said "Really...?" like he didnt believe I just offered him a compliment. Then with a smiley speech he said "Yeah a couple of people have told me about it- like 3---4 that I know.". So my question is, if several people have told him about his mustache aka: complimented him, why did he become startled when I said the same compliment as others have said? shouldn't he be accustomed to that comment? why reaction?

I 21F was talking with someone I like 22M, and I think he might still like me (we have a huge huge past together, and we were never a couple. We've known each other since 2015), and while we where having a chill conversation on Instagram, I say to him;

Me; Well, I better get going, cause I need to be at the [cafeteria’s name].
Me; We should go there sometime too, it’s beautiful

And because I freaked out before he could even answer me, I said this;

Me; Goodnight!

Yes.. I said an immediate goodnight right after my invitation..Then he said this;

Him; Have fun and goodnight!

Now, did he dodge my invitation, or did he think that I’d want him to go to that cafeteria with my friend and him?

I [F21] like a guy [M22] for 3 years now. He used to like me from 2019-2026(?)

I put a question mark there, cause I don't know if he still does till this day. We've have had many ups and downs (more ups than downs).

He was in a rebound relationship 2 years ago (yes, I admit it.. it was because of me), that ended badly. He doesn't trust women that easily anymore, and unfortunately he doesn't know/trust the intensity of my feelings for him... He's afraid that I'm lying to him.

Anyway, precisely one year ago, he got sent to an island to do his mandatory internship, and I sent him a "have a good trip" message. (I talk every 2-3 months to him). He said thank you, I'll do this and that in the island etc. Sent him some more wishes and I left him on read.

Then without me asking anything else, he initiates this message:

"And why don't you come to the island at the end of August for 3 days? I can host you so you don't have to pay for accommodation fees"

He said end of August, cause he'd leave from the island and come back. What I'm saying is that, he wanted to spend his last days on the island with me, all paid. Just the two of us. I politely declined, and told him I can't go due to exams. He said "Oww, that's a pity. But it's okay, exams come first, good luck with your exams!"

Is there a chance that he still likes me to this day? Yes, some good things have happened again between us, but nothing like an island invitation!!!! I'm super afraid and anxious, cause I can't lose him again, and I'm afraid if his feelings have changed! Help me...

I [F21] like a guy [M22] for 3 years now. He used to like me from 2019-2026(?)

I put a question mark there, cause I don't know if he still does till this day. We've have had many ups and downs (more ups than downs).

He was in a rebound relationship 2 years ago (yes, I admit it.. it was because of me), that ended badly. He doesn't trust women that easily anymore, and unfortunately he doesn't know/trust the intensity of my feelings for him... He's afraid that I'm lying to him.

Anyway, precisely one year ago, he got sent to an island to do his mandatory internship, and I sent him a "have a good trip" message. (I talk every 2-3 months to him). He said thank you, I'll do this and that in the island etc. Sent him some more wishes and I left him on read.

Then without me asking anything else, he initiates this message:

"And why don't you come to the island at the end of August for 3 days? I can host you so you don't have to pay for accommodation fees"

He said end of August, cause he'd leave from the island and come back. What I'm saying is that, he wanted to spend his last days on the island with me, all paid. Just the two of us. I politely declined, and told him I can't go due to exams. He said "Oww, that's a pity. But it's okay, exams come first, good luck with your exams!"

Is there a chance that he still likes me to this day? Yes, some good things have happened again between us, but nothing like an island invitation!!!! I'm super afraid and anxious, cause I can't lose him again, and I'm afraid if his feelings have changed! Help me...

I know this sounds crazy, but I can't help it. A guy used to like me from 2019-2026(?), we've had many ups and downs (more ups than downs). And I've been having a crush on him for 3 years now.

Anyways, on Instagram I have posted 24 photos over the years. He has liked all 23 of them except for the 24th photo that I posted yesterday. I posted a similar one last year and he had liked it.

In all of my posts 50 to 52 people like them, and in this one only 40. I hate insta.

I know I shouldn't be this anxious over stuff like this, but I'm wondering if he has a change of heart or grew tired of me. Last year, he invited me to stay to an island with him, but oh well.

So sorry that I ask stupid things like this, I just like him a lot..
I need help of my anxiousness..