r/OnlineDatingAdvice

Still find myself so in love with her sometimes. We haven't met. Our situationship has been nearly two decades on and off. Off the passed ten years, then she could contacted me directly by phone, not socials.

After Covid I lost social skills. I'm gay, 25 years old and good looking guy. I like men in their 30s. How can I tell if they're interested? I've noticed that almost no one gives me a sign.

Has anyone ever posted their husband or bf on this site on fb and found out they were cheating?!

Date was 1hr 30 minutes… very short for me.

He yawned 2-3 times on the date.

Checked his phone a few times.

Towards what I felt was the date ending, he asked what I was doing after…

He then said he was meeting his friends and his brother afterwards to watch the football.

I asked if we could walk a-bit ( I feel
more relaxed on dates when we walk as aposed to just sitting)

He said ‘sure!’ I was about to suggest where we could go but realised we where already at his flat/local area and if he was meeting friends he’d probably want to stay local.. i couldn’t suggest a nice long walk to the train station as there’d be no benefit to him. I also wanted to gauge for how long he’d be wanting to spend time with me.
He said: ‘I can walk you to where you came from? … the tube?’ The Tube was a 3 minute walk from his…

As we walked, I asked him about previous dating experiences, and he said ‘overall i’m just seeing where things go’… wasn’t my question, but ok…(I guess he felt he inferred something from that)…

At the tube, He hugged me, in a way that suggested he liked my physical appearance… but I can’t tell/ I get the impression he’s only interested in my physical & less interested in my character… thoughts?

Disclaimer:I might or might have some wrong grammar with me because English is not my mother tongue.

Ok Reddit,now am I insane I(18F) is at a lost of why my(20M) bf suddenly doesn't allow me to chat him on fb without any hints/ghosted me after I had o chat with him about his major and he told me a detail about needing to learning/understand french cuz his major needed it and I have responded "Well there's a possibility that you'd talk to a french person"and he replied "huh?,r u srys,im not in the mood for this kind of jokes"and I responded "Well there's a possibility just saying honey ,Rn cuz there are chances that I might need it...,I'm sorry if it sounds like a joke to you....,Ok I'm sorry I won't disturb you for now just chat me after the exams are done....,But... I'm not joking tho..."and he answered back "oki nd m not in the mood for this,ah i think that better cuz i cant fr"and then he sent me a last message "i will past my finale exams after 5 days" and my responses "Oh that's great honey,So I was meaning to ask smth,But I'll just ask you after your exam" after that I texted him and it the messager notified me with a line"tis profile can't receive your message because they don't allow new message requests from everyone." And now idk if I did something that upset that person.tell me if I had ever upset him for thinking he hated me and idk the reason is? Please comment and I read it all

Edit:me and my boyfriend mother tongue is not English please understand.

Currently on vacation for the next two weeks and texted the guy I’m seeing (not official yet) saying hi and that I hope he is having a good week and he texted back saying hi and that he hopes I’m having a good trip and said “can’t wait to have you back” what does he mean by that?

2 weeks ago I posted a picture of myself on insta. My notifications alerted me saying this guy sent me some messages. He responded to my picture complementing me then followed by ‘I know we don’t know each other well and in the most respectful way if you’re not take ofc I’d like to take you out on a date. Then ‘think wisely about the proposition’ then ‘I’ll be waiting 😌’

I found it funny and planned to respond with thanks but I usually don’t go on dates in this way etc. A few hours passed and he deleted the messages. I laughed because it was risky and totally understood why he might’ve got nervous. This week he posted a holiday pic (just scenery) I liked it and kept it moving. He then messaged hey. I said hey back and to make it less awkward I asked him if he went to my college (idk lol) he said no, I said my bad. He then said I’d like to take you on a date. I said I’d prefer to talk a little more etc. He said sure that’s fine. I asked what made you message me in the first place? 30 mins passed then my phone started to ring. This guy called me from insta. I hesitated to pick up. But did. He was very respectful, said he understands this maybe too much but he just wants to state his intentions and answer my questions. He said he can tell I’m not on socials much so wanted to take advantage of this moment. He was cautious and kept saying I don’t want to do too much. But I’ve been watching your highlights/page for some time and I like how you move. I’ll respect your pace I’d like to eventually see you in person and start as friends etc. He said he’s a man and prefers to take action. He said going forward we can text, VN whatever you want. I was taken aback from this but was also impressed can’t lie.

Is this too much? My friends says that he SEEMS intentional and very interested. He even followed up with a message thanking me for taking the call, saying it means a lot. I know it’s insta and he’s probably shot his shot to others. How would others receive this? I made no promises btw, said we can message etc. he said sure feel free to reach out and I’ll do the same

Im currently in uni. I have a guy best friend i have know for looooonggg. Did not seem like something was gunna happen when we first started talking. But over the years i have been developing some feelings for him, ifykyk. I do not know if he sees me that way, not even sure if i turn him on.
But we both do have similar interests and i don't have any clue on how i can let him know. We both are in very different places in life. I do not want to lose him as a friend. Tips on how i can soft launch

i went on a great first date with a girl, she was very interested prior to meeting in person, we met and it went well. She tried to kiss me but i swerved it as I may carry HSV1 though am not fully sure. We then went to a park and sat down, i mentioned it to her then. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable. We then carried on about our business and kissed further. I then offered to walk her home, she was fine with that, but she then went to go shopping and I waited for her. She came out and I walked her back ‘insistent’. I went to kiss her in the street, and she said she did not like PDA and said she had actually felt a little uncomfortable earlier, though this contradicted what she had tried to do by kissing me before the disclosure. I then dropped her of at her door and assured her I was in no rush. I said to her that I wanted to see her next sunday, she said maybe. She said she did not want to string me along, to which I said don’t. She has continued to text me while away in crete at a wedding. She has not done so with great frequency as before, and seems less interested with length of response. She also seems to be saying excuses such as ‘phones low on battery’ etc when in reality she’s been on it a fair bit. I have had a response from her yesterday, i text back and then sent one this morning saying ‘hope she had a good time x’. I feel she is breadcrummbing me but do not want to say anything as yet. I was going to wait until Friday evening/saturday morning to confirm plans for Sunday and leave it at that.

I know I need to work on my anxiety on relationships and am doing so but this has been a lifelong pattern

Thank you

Howdy, I’ve been talking (I think) with this girl, 2 dates, both wen well I think, but our schedules are both pretty busy with work, so it’s usually hard to find time to spend together. Naturally, this gives my mind a lot of time to think and worry that it’s not going the way I was hoping. She responds to texts and snapchats, but usually a couple hours later if not the next day. I’m not sure how to keep this alive as I’m dating for marriage, and have been out of the game for a couple years, so I’m not sure what I’m doing. Any input would be great, thanks guys.

I know just from the fact that we didnt have a relationship in the first place that theres no point of waiting for him to come back after he blocked me but I also feel deep down that this is not over, but at the same time it is. I've had this thing for almost a year with this guy. He knew how deeply i cared about him and he did care about me as well, but we also had kind of an age gap of 8 years plus hes living inn italy and i live in romania so even if we wanted a relationship it wouldve been hard. I was living in italy for like half an year and thats when our situation started. After i moved back home ofc we started to have lots of arguments and lots of contact/no contact. But he never blocked me until now. The last time we fight we had a big argument, I did tell him some things that i do regret and after that he sent me a big text and blocked me. He said that he doesnt think he did anything wrong or me, but i know we both did a lot of mistakes. Oh and to mention that we had a few weeks of no contact when i was in italy as well. The thing is he said that he could see a future with me but we both have to achive some things first. He told me that he thinks that we're really connected but just don't know how to communicate very well. I was very anxious in the whole interaction he was avoidant. And in our arguments he would always tell me that nobody ever complained about his behaviour as I do..It was a really messy situation that went for a year straight. I'm lowkey glad that he blocked me, because maybe i'll move on eventually, but its like the 2nd week since im blocked and i cant seem to forget about him. He is been on my mind every since, probably even worse now. And of course i cant stop thinking that maybe he'll come back someday..even tho i dont know if the situation will ever be any different. And we were supposed to meet by the end of july because this is when im visiting some relatives and staying with this hope that maybe he'll unblock me and text me around that time is stupid, but at the same time i cant help it...and i dont know. I wish i didnt stay with this hope that he'll come backbecause i know its not good for me because it can really never happen.

Burner just in case they see this. I (25M) have been playing video games online for over 10 years and, like most people, have made friendships with random people but have never had any of these become romantic (generally I don't think long distance / online relationships would work for me). About 3 months ago I got invited to a discord group and have very infrequently joined them for some games, but usually kept my mouth shut because I am pretty socially awkward.

After one session, one person (25F) sent me a private message, they had seen that we both owned a specific 2-player coop game they wanted to play and asked if I would be up for playing it with them. I had said yes, but because life got busy we didn't actually start playing it until about a week ago. Maybe I am being very silly, but I felt like we really hit it off and got along really well. She is very fun, kind and smart and I feel we share a lot of interests. Conversation has felt incredibly easy and we have a very similar sense of humour.

Since starting the game, we have hung out together for a few hours every night and have now even moved on to a new game. If I had met someone in real life, for example like through mutual friends, and felt this kind of a connection I would feel it would be natural to consider asking to take them out sometime. My confusion comes from this all being online. I do not know what this person looks like, and neither do they know what I look like, but I honestly feel really attracted to them just purely based on their personality and the connection we have made.

Part of me thinks we could become really good friends, and I don't want to jeopardise that. At the same time, I can't help wondering whether, if she happened to feel the same way, staying quiet now might mean we both end up settling into a purely platonic friendship, and I wont know whether there was potential for something more. Maybe its better to just let her know what I'm thinking now so were both on the same page?

Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Do I seem crazy and like I'm getting carried away or is it worth seeing what she thinks?

Hello Reddit, I come to you with a dilemma about a man I met not even 48 hours ago. A little bit of backstory, I (22F) am a singer. Not super established, but I sing a mix of covers and original songs at open mics usually one or two nights a week, and have been collaborating with some fellow local musicians on some really fun stuff. The night before last at one of my open mic nights I met this guy (21M) who is completely my type both inside and out. He’s a musician too, which after my experiences last year I said I’d never do again, but he seemed really sweet so I decided to give him a chance. We got to chatting after his set and shortly before mine and really hit it off. He was originally going to leave because he had to work early the next morning, but he agreed to stay for my set, which I’m very glad he did considering what happened next.

I’m sure it was a mix of a lot of things - overheating under the stage lights, drinking tons of water but not enough electrolytes, and probably locking my knees to stop my legs from shaking from the unprecedented nerves of singing in front of this cute guy - but close to the end of my set I started feeling really off and ended up collapsing on stage, and I wasn’t fully coherent for the next five minutes or so after. The exact same thing had happened to me once before, but never on stage, so it was particularly terrifying. Eventually I sat back down in the crowd with a soda and some chips trying to feel better, and the guy I had been talking to pulled up a stool and joined me after checking on me, and comforted me so sweetly the rest of the night until he had to leave. We exchanged numbers, and I invited him to another open mic happening the next night, and he invited me to karaoke at the bar we were at the night after that.

So I saw him again last night, and everything went almost suspiciously well. We got to know each other better, and I learned that he’s originally from a town about an hour away and recently started staying with his sister in my town for work. He was nothing but kind and accommodating the whole night, and we ended up improvising a few songs together that we hadn’t originally planned to do which actually went incredibly well. We held hands and flirted a lot, but that was about the extent of it. He walked me to my car and we continued texting after we’d both gotten home, and ended up making pre-karaoke dinner plans for tonight. I was completely on cloud nine until I decided to look for his socials.

After learning his last name earlier in the evening, I pretty quickly found his facebook - him with a girl in his profile picture that his profile says he’s in a relationship with. I then checked her profile and found the same thing. I was starting to get nervous, but considering this photo of them was posted over six months ago and neither of them had posted on there since I tried to chalk it up to people our age just not using facebook often, I’m sure there were times in my past that my profile has said I’m in a relationship much past when that was actually accurate. It was when I found his instagram that things started looking particularly bleak. Same profile pic, same girl, and posts from him dating to as recently as about a month ago. Nothing of them together, but still suspicious. To make matters worse, they both still follow each other, and this girl’s profile pic is also the two of them together.

At this point I realized that it was more likely than not that he really does have a girlfriend back home and is just playing us both. I decided to subtly test the waters and ask him if he was ok with me posting some of the videos of us performing together where our chemistry was absolutely off the charts.
He (albeit politely) shut the idea down, only causing my suspicions to worsen. I also now recall earlier in the evening his reluctance to say his full name, which is now seeming to make a lot more sense. I unfortunately have a history of getting attached too quickly, and even though I didn’t act it on it this time, I was so excited about getting to know him and it still really hurts. I really want to think that I’m just fearing the worst and I’m wrong, but I honestly don’t know anymore. I was up til 3am last night crying and tossing and turning, and my head only feels slightly more clear this morning.

How can I possibly find out the truth? I want to ask him directly while we’re out at dinner, but how do I broach the subject? And if he says they’re not together anymore, how do I know he’s telling the truth? I know you’re supposed to trust the person you’re trying to date, but I haven’t even known this man a couple days. Am I better off sending a “hey girly” message to the girl directly and asking her what the deal is? I know I need to approach him about it tonight because the thought of continuing even to flirt with another woman’s man makes me feel sick, but I really don’t know what my best next move is here.

So there’s this girl we randomly spoke briefly on and off my best friend passed and it’s his sister. And she’s incredibly gorgeous and surprise me about the way she was. There’s an age gap but i don’t think it matters anymore. It’s been a while since he passed. Anyway, I should’ve asked her out when I had the chance right from the jump. My timing sucks.
But now things have ran dry and I think she had a boyfriend or has one I’m not sure and I feel like my moment has slipped before she never really had time so i backed off when now i know i shouldn’t have
. Although she’s very picky and particular when it comes to dating guys, I will say that I know that for a fact.

She was always working, which I did confirm that was true and she wasn’t giving me a runaround and then I just kinda ghosted her maybe ? I didn’t sit around n wait.
I feel like she was afraid too.
And we hit it off real nicely and we’re talking all the time, but it was only through text really I never really got the chance to see her in person and now I see her online and ever since I have never been able to get her off my mind and I even avoid social media just to not see her but I’ve always wanted to reach out and the only thing I can think of is I have to tell her how I feel or something, but I’m kind of afraid this is the only thing I’m afraid of. lol

Literally, I’ve written poems about her how amazing she is and she doesn’t know me that well but I want to change that.

ANY HELP IS APPRECIATED!! LOL
I just can’t deal with this digital shit like I’m a face-to-face kind of guy like and I feel like if I showed her who I really was n what I’m about then she would really like me because she already kinda liked me through text. I always made her laugh and everything. I just can’t get over her. I don’t really care about other girls now. I’ve tried other girls too.

My boy passed 3 years ago on the 17th it’ll be three years and then we spoke like that following winter and on and off ever since but when we did speak, it was always back-and-forth back-and-forth and immediate connection until it ran dry and then I backed off

I see a lot of untapped potential in her. Me too but i feel like she’s around a bunch of phony ppl n lame guys that are all generic.

Also she lost her father years before her brother (my boy)
Idk when exactly.
I’ve written poems about this girl like really deep, intellectual emotionally, intelligent type of stuff that I think she’d be impressed with, but I’m afraid to share.

I am currently on vacation and he texted me saying hope it’s going well and can’t wait to have you back, what does that mean?

He’s definitely single, and we flirt a lot in private. He calls me beautiful, watches every single one of my Instagram stories almost instantly most of the time, as if he has a notification for when I post, and when we message he usually replies pretty quickly. He’s actually very good at replying most of the time. The conversations are fun and flirty, but they often just… stop mid-conversation, and he doesn’t always come back to them unless one of us starts a new conversation later. What’s confusing me is that in the beginning he liked my posts and stories all the time. Now he doesn’t like my posts or stories at all, but he still watches every story I post. Once in a while, he’ll reply to one of my stories, but that’s about it. At the same time, I can see him liking other women’s photos. So I’m getting mixed signals. His private behavior seems very interested, but his public interaction with my content has changed. Like I said he’s definitely single and it can’t be a matter of he’s trying to hide his likes from other women because he has liked multiple other women’s photos. I should also add that he’s not the type of guy that’s following list looks like a strip club. His following list to me actually looks very healthy and normal. There are a lot of women, but they are quite normal average women for the most part. He is an attractive guy I will say that.
Has anyone experienced this? Am I overthinking the Instagram likes, or would you see this as a genuine change in behavior that’s worth paying attention to? If he just stopped watching every single one of my Instagram storie****s and stopped flirting so heavily in public I would say he’s not interested, but he’s giving me contradicting behaviors.

Hi everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old guy, and about 50 days ago I started talking to a girl online. We live in different countries, so everything has been long-distance.

For the first month, we talked almost every day. The conversations were natural, long, and enjoyable. We talked about our cultures, families, work, studies, movies, and everyday life. There were no arguments or drama, and we both seemed to genuinely enjoy talking to each other.

One thing she told me early on was that whenever she goes through a difficult period in life, she tends to disappear for a while, focus on herself, and come back once things get better. She described it as a “short period,” but when I asked what she meant by “short,” she couldn’t really give me a timeframe.

About two weeks ago, she suddenly stopped replying to my messages for three days. Naturally, I became worried because this had never happened before.

After those three days, she replied and told me she was okay, that she was going through a difficult time, and that she wanted to focus on work and improving her current situation. She also said she hoped everything would get better soon and that she’d come back once things were okay again.

Since then, we haven’t gone back to talking the way we used to.
Since then, the communication has mostly happened because I check in on her from time to time. Whenever I do, she replies warmly. She has reassured me that she’s okay, thanked me for encouraging her during a difficult time, said my words made her feel a little better, wished me luck with my exams, said she’d pray for me, joked with me, and said she hopes everything gets better soon and that we’ll talk again.

So when we do talk, she doesn’t seem cold or uninterested. The issue is simply that the regular communication hasn’t returned.

I’m trying to be understanding because she did warn me this could happen, but I’m also struggling with the uncertainty because I have no idea whether “a short period” means two weeks, one month, or several months.
I don’t want to put my life on hold waiting, but I also don’t want to start building something meaningful with someone else if there’s a good chance she’ll return and things will go back to how they were.

So I’d really appreciate honest opinions.
How would you interpret this situation?
Would you keep waiting?
At what point would you ask for clarity?
If you were in my position, what would you do?

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, even if they aren’t what I want to hear.

Hi everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old guy, and about 50 days ago I started talking to a girl online. We live in different countries, so everything has been long-distance.

For the first month, we talked almost every day. The conversations were natural, long, and enjoyable. We talked about our cultures, families, work, studies, movies, and everyday life. There were no arguments or drama, and we both seemed to genuinely enjoy talking to each other.

One thing she told me early on was that whenever she goes through a difficult period in life, she tends to disappear for a while, focus on herself, and come back once things get better. She described it as a “short period,” but when I asked what she meant by “short,” she couldn’t really give me a timeframe.

About two weeks ago, she suddenly stopped replying to my messages for three days. Naturally, I became worried because this had never happened before.

After those three days, she replied and told me she was okay, that she was going through a difficult time, and that she wanted to focus on work and improving her current situation. She also said she hoped everything would get better soon and that she’d come back once things were okay again.

Since then, we haven’t gone back to talking the way we used to.
Since then, the communication has mostly happened because I check in on her from time to time. Whenever I do, she replies warmly. She has reassured me that she’s okay, thanked me for encouraging her during a difficult time, said my words made her feel a little better, wished me luck with my exams, said she’d pray for me, joked with me, and said she hopes everything gets better soon and that we’ll talk again.

So when we do talk, she doesn’t seem cold or uninterested. The issue is simply that the regular communication hasn’t returned.

I’m trying to be understanding because she did warn me this could happen, but I’m also struggling with the uncertainty because I have no idea whether “a short period” means two weeks, one month, or several months.
I don’t want to put my life on hold waiting, but I also don’t want to start building something meaningful with someone else if there’s a good chance she’ll return and things will go back to how they were.

So I’d really appreciate honest opinions.
How would you interpret this situation?
Would you keep waiting?
At what point would you ask for clarity?
If you were in my position, what would you do?

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, even if they aren’t what I want to hear.