r/OnlineDatingAdvice

How did you react to being rejected? Were you able to remain friends after the first rejection? Or did you get your hopes up and intensify your feelings?

hi everyone!! i'm a 21F from latin america, and i developed a crush on a guy from the U.S. that i found on instagram reels ☹️ yes, this is silly, but he did a video of a videogame that i like too, so i went to his profile and i thought that he was genuienly cute and interesting. we have many things in common, such as liking some videogames, similar in humor, taste in music and also we both play guitar! he also makes music, so i've been replying to his stories with casual questions or just being friendly… he is always kind and nice, but i feel like maybe he is just answering and doesnt really care talking to me, probably he thinks i'm just a fan (and that's okay) last time i talked to him we were just joking a little but then i replied (with a normal message, not asking anything) and he just left me on seen…so i felt kinda dumb.
the problem is that i feel like this is pretty childish of me… why i suddenly like a cute guy who is faaar away from me? i dont know… he's pretty nice and funny. i like his style… and i want to know him more… i want to know many things and maybe try to first being friends? but i feel like maybe its too obvious i'm interested? i'm incredibly shy with this type of stuff and since he left me on seen i think he doesn't really care about just talking and naturally being friends? i think i overthink a lot.
i don't know what should i do :( do you think its even worth trying, or should i just let this be a silly internet crush? 🥲🥲 anyways, thanks for reading this much. i would be very grateful if someone help me, i dont really know what would a guy do if he suddenly get a girl in his dms trying to get to know you.

I am terrible at taking photos. I am a 52 year old woman and I always look awkward on camera. I want to set up my meetmyage account this weekend but I only have a few mirror selfies and pictures of my dog. Some people say you need a professional photoshoot to stand out online. Is that true for our age group? I really do not want to spend money on photos just to get a date

Hi. I see a guy that works on the train I take to work. We are polite and smile at each other. Sometimes a hi and have a nice day. There is no reason for me to believe he’s into me but I think he’s so cute. Idk if he’s single or anything. Is it weird to just write my number down and give it to him? Do I make up a story about why I’m giving my number?

For clarity, we don’t have an opportunity to talk more than what we do. He is at work and busy.

When my online friend first rejected me, he wanted to continue the conversation. I handled the rejection with maturity. I told him I needed some time to think about this situation. And after a week of silence, I just sent him a simple "hi" or something. We continued talking friendly. But still, it felt like I was always the one initiating contact. I think he was trying to maintain a balance-trying to stay friends while avoiding triggering my feelings again. I tried to stay friends because I didn't want to throw away our friendship and everything we shared just because I had feelings. But my feelings were still there. To avoid making him uncomfortable, I didn’t explain these feelings to him while we were staying friends. Out of consideration for his peace of mind. Then, realizing I couldn't carry this emotional weight anymore, I unfollowed him and stayed silent for a week, but I came back. I gave him a real and valid reason. I told him that I needed to distance myself because I was genuinely dealing with some academic problems that week. He was understanding about it. But I think he realized that sometimes my feelings were influencing my actions anyway.

Regardless, during a normal conversation that day, he told me he had a girlfriend and mentioned it was a recent thing. At first, I wished them happiness, but suddenly I started talking about my emotions. I began sending long messages, pouring my heart out. I didn't openly criticize him or say anything insulting. But he told me, "I've had a long-distance relationship before, it was a bad experience, so as a rule, I don't do long-distance relationships anymore." And I told him, "You are reducing me to a criterion; I held the possibility of being with you above any criterion." But my intention wasn't to change his mind or question his decisions. I was just constantly explaining myself. And I think in written communication, this is very prone to being perceived as pressure. If he hadn't presented me with reasons while rejecting me, I wouldn't have argued against them. And honestly, I don't think he was obligated to give me a reason anyway. I just presented my own perspective against the reasons he gave me. But I didn't cut off the conversation after a certain point. He said he had to go to sleep and would reply the next day. The next day, he sent me a kind message, saying his goal wasn't to make me feel bad. He just said he wanted to be honest with me. And he told me that I had misunderstood him. He believed that no matter what he said, I would misunderstand him, and he told me that I needed time. So, I didn't write anything for 6 days. Then I wrote back and told him I felt embarrassed about my confessions, that I didn't need time to "digest" things, and that he shouldn't be sorry. I told him I was glad we had our previous talk. But I didn't say anything about misunderstanding him; I never mentioned the misunderstanding issue at all. But he thought I had misunderstood him. And he stayed silent to my message. He still hasn't replied.

On the day of my confession, my goal wasn't to question his decisions, and the only thing I wanted to express was the fact that, despite all his criteria, he could have seen me as an exception. I mean, what I meant there was that sometimes people can give someone a chance even if they don't fit their criteria at all. If he wanted to, he could have done that; that's what I was talking about. I think criteria and reasons are just excuses. And he was the one who gave me reasons; I never asked him "why?". When he listed his reasons, I just put forward my own arguments. I am not trying to cross anyone's boundaries, but when someone rejects me for a specific reason, it feels like those reasons are just an excuse. And I feel stupid. If he had told me, "I'm just not attracted to you," I would have understood. But talking about criteria and reasons feels like boxing a person into a set of metrics. Of course, he can reject me, I genuinely don't have an issue with that. But he thinks I am taking his reasons personally. By the way, since he has a girlfriend, I wasn't proposing anything romantic to him that day. I was only talking about how, when he first rejected me-when he didn't have a girlfriend-he could have given me a chance. Frankly, I don't know what to think. Please don't judge me harshly because this is the first time I've had such intense feelings for someone. So, if I am failing to see right from wrong, you can explain it to me. Right now, I have no romantic expectations from him and I would like to stay friends because he is a very intellectual and wonderful person. I don't want to lose him, and I am no longer hopeful romantically. I have zero expectations. Where do you think I went wrong? Or was he completely faultless? Or can we still be friends? He has a girlfriend, and I have no hope left anyway because even if a romantic possibility were to arise in the future, it seems I no longer have that desire for a relationship inside me. I don't have any romantic expectations, and I also feel guilty. But on the other hand, my inner voice puts me in a defensive psychology. What should I do?

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I F33 started taking again with a life long friend/ crush. M30 we have been talking nonstop for three weeks and hung out a few times . The last time we hung out we ended up hooking up. The next day when talking I said I needed to take things slow because I just got out of a 8 year relationshipand he agreed and said he had an amazing time and haven’t been that happy around another person in a while he is divorced and also said he dosent want to date right now . I said I enjoy being around him too but I also am not sure what his intentions are and that I am not ready for a relationship but also don’t want another dead end . I then said sorry I shouldn’t be texting when I am over tired. He respond saying he was tired and joked a little and then it had been radio silence since last night. I waited all day and then I said hey what’s up? And he had still not responded. Did I just mess this up? Was it too soon In the dynamic to get that real?

I am a 19M indian currently ready to go to college.

Whenever I meet a good girl anywhere like in irl during my prep of jee, old school frnds, BGMi, I am good talker so I usually am able to get their Instagram which is not the difficult part. But I don't know what to do after that? I mean i just become clueless what to text what not to text.

Giving some examples

1. I met my old friend from like 7 years ago she gave me her insta we had a great talk, so I texted her one day we talked about school life hobbies exams etc etc and the convo ended in like 15 mins. Now whenever I want to talk to her I don't know what to talk about 😭

2. I met a girl in bgmi we played and she enjoyed my company we played for like 1 hour and the next day we played again for an hour and then I asked her Instagram and she Gave it to me. Now just telling about my skills she has 23 followers on ig which clearly indicates she is a reserved person but she gave me her ig in 1 day.

But now I have her Instagram and still don't know what to do.

🥴

I need opinions because I genuinely can’t tell if this guy is shy/awkward or just not that interested.

So basically, months ago I made the first move on this guy because I thought he was really cute. I was VERY obvious about liking him. I asked my friend if he was single and if I can get his IG and I followed him. He followed me back before, but eventually things got awkward and he kind of ghosted me, but before that I went to their bball game and my friend who is also his friend gave me chocolate that was from the guy I liked but he already started just reacting to my messages. Since then, he unfollowed me.

Recently though, we started indirectly interacting again through a mutual friend. Apparently when our friend mentioned meeting up with me, he smiled and got teased about me. He also apparently said he thought I didn’t actually like him before (which is funny because I was very obvious), and he called me cute and pretty.

The weird part is that almost all of our interactions are still indirect through our mutual friend. He reacts to messages, says hi sometimes, and keeps responding to teasing instead of avoiding it. He also asked if I play ML and said he wanted to play with me. He said I seem “comforting,” said he can cook for me, and apparently got “blushy” over some of our banter.

He also said stuff like “I’m gonna miss all my shots” after my friend showed him a video of me playing bball. The vibe honestly feels flirty, but STILL indirect.

The thing confusing me is:

he still hasn’t directly talked to me much himself

he takes a while to follow back/respond to stuff

almost everything still goes through our friend

but he also keeps engaging instead of avoiding me

I’m trying to take it slow because he apparently said he wants to focus on school and basketball right now. I also know I can come off very confident/direct, so part of me wonders if I overwhelmed him at first.

Do shy guys actually act like this when they like someone, or does this sound more like someone who just enjoys attention/teasing but isn’t genuinely interested?

So went on a date with a guy and we were together the whole day and he stayed over the night no sex just cuddling. He told my friend after they hung out when asked what thought about me and he said “yea she’s cool, we have a lot of things in common, and we work in the same field so she understands my line of work” is this more friendzone or more?

i, F16 recently met this one boy on a dating app. he says he is 18, turning 19. that age gap may seem bad, but we were both over age of consent in our states. mind you, we are planning to do long distance, that’s why i say states. i am turning 17 this year too. i bring up how it’s crazy to think im 17, my birthday etc. he always counters that with “oh yeah it’s so weird turning 18.” sometimes he slips and says 19, sometimes 17. whenever the subject of age is brought up he always seems to get a bit distant and closed off. he also does look older. pretty young, clear skin. but he is every tall with facial hair.

i don’t know what to do, is it possible im being lied to?

edit: next year for schooling i’m going to be doing half trade school half highschool. when school is brought up he says he is already graduated and is doing half trade school half high school too… how are you doing half highschool if one is already graduated?

he also has endorsed the fact that he doesn’t want to text in imsg. only on instagram. because “his parents see everything”

I feel like I can attract.

Men I meet at work or through friends ask for my name, chat/flirt a little bit, find me on Instagram and add me.

Sometimes I get their follow request weeks after I've met them, and sometimes we have no followers in common so I guess they tried to find my socials and succeeded?

But then nothing more comes out of it...

Are they expecting me to text first?? All the times I've texted a man first it went horribly so I don't want to do that...

Why don't they ask me out if they are interested?

I've never used dating apps because my wish is to meet someone while I'm out and about... But at least people on dating apps want to meet. Lol

Any advice is much appreciated

I'm still very naive when it comes to dating so I'm being very cautious

There's this guy I met online through a game we mutually play, and he lied to me saying that he's the same age as me, when he's in fact 4 years younger. He's very sweet but still lied to me when we initially met. I don't know if he thought we would have just played a few games together and never speak again, but now we've been talking for several months and we get along well as friends. I only found out because a mutual friend said his age. I don't know how I feel about this. I was beginning to catch feelings, but now I'm unsure. I feel cheated out of the truth, everything else was going great though. Would this be a sign to just stick to being friends and drop all possible feelings? Would I be crazy for still talking to him and being interested? I'm 28 and he's 24. I need some advice on what to do from here...

Me and this guy have been talking since November 2025. We met through an app where you can find people your age in your area that are looking for new friends. We hit it off pretty quickly and texted a lot and when we finally hung out, things went really well. ever since then we’ve been hanging out 1 to 2 times a week either where I will go stay the night at his house or he’ll come stay the night at mine. I really do like him and can see a future with him, his friends and family all really like me and have even called me His girlfriend on multiple occasions we have had a couple separate conversations regarding what exactly our relationship is and what the end goal is that we want, we both have had some tough past relationships and are still working through our own insecurities and our readiness to take on a serious relationship. When we talked about what we want, he explained that the distance between us does cause him to be hesitant because he would want me all the time, for context We live about an hour and a half from each other. Another thing that holds him back is the fact that I have some debt and I don’t make the most money at the moment in his last relationship his girlfriend at the time took advantage of his financials and had him pay for multiple bills, including rent. I agreed that these things definitely would be tough to juggle in a relationship, but I am working towards a solution for all of my issues for example, I’m setting up payment plans and getting new jobs to stabilize myself and my finances, one of my biggest concerns due to past situations is that I’m going to be waiting and doing all of these things and he will no longer want to be in a serious relationship. ( not that I’m doing these things for him,I am making these changes to better myself)Things have really progressed and I’ve noticed him open himself up more and more to me, but he does still seem hesitant to give affection in public and also calls me pal or buddy when we’re together I really want to be able to call him my boyfriend and show him that I am ready for this commitment and I’m willing to help him in any way that he needs, I know labels aren’t that big of a deal but the stage we’re in is kinda awkward and I’m not sure where to go from here