u/Mountain-Secret-1439

okayyy this story is gonna be very long and interesting soo let’s get into it!!
over a year ago i was in this tiktok live js watching this random guy with a guest and the guest was lowk very chill and funny so i decided to add his tiktok. He and i started texting (he’s a year older than me) and i honestly enjoyed talking to this guy because he genuinely understood my humor and didn’t take everything to heart. A couple months later he decides to put half of his face as his tiktok pfp and im not gonna lie he was good looking. Up until this moment i thought he was single, even tho im not looking for a relationship, and he honestly had a pretty flirty personality. One day the topic of relationships comes up and he says “i’ve been with my gf for about two years now”. I was genuinely in shock because if he had a gf why would he have a flirty personality ykwim? i didn’t think much of it because maybe that’s js how he is, because my personality is lowk the same as his. At this point we had gotten really close, we text all day, everyday, he notices when im in a bad mood, he notices when im happy and asks why im happy, and it was honestly a friendship that i cherished. A couple months ago we started making freaky jokes with each other (i thought it was weird as well cus like aren’t you taken?) but everyone i’ve met online has been knowing that i have a flirty/freaky personality. But not freaky to the point where i joke about doing stuff with the other person. It was more of like a “that’s what she said” type of personality, or if the other person says “it’s not that deep” i say “it’s deep when u feel it” just stuff like that yk? Anyways about a year has passed and i still haven’t given him a face reveal and by this time we’ve genujnely gotten even closer as friends, he tells me about his feelings, how his gfs doing, and js overall very personal stuff. I never talked about personal stuff with him, honestly never talked about anything personal with anyone, and ive told him before “idk how to communicate personal problems and im not an open person” he didn’t seem to mind and never pushed me to say smth i didn’t wanna say. Now we both are mean to each other as a joke and it never escalates to where the other person is genuinely offended, but at random times he’d randomly be the nicest person i’ve ever met and i usually joke saying “woah who is this you’re never this nice” he usually replies “this is what i get for being nice to you” and the convo would continue as normal, BUT he once was overly nice again so i said what i usually say and this time he replied with “yk i might js start being this nice everyday to see how you’d react” so i said “if u do that ill genuinely go insane” and all the sudden he says “yeah that might seem as if im flirting” and i said “YEAH SO DONT DO IT”. HE PROCEEDED TO SAY “oh so you don’t want me flirting?” when i tell you i was in shock, cus like dude aren’t u taken? So i literally say “dude flirt with your gf” then he started being weird all the sudden and i honestly felt bad because during that time he’d complain to me about him and his gfs issues and id give him advice and stuff, so i thought smth happened again and when i mentioned his gf he started acting weird. I apologize for mentioning his gf and said that if something’s going on between them he could tell me, and again apologized if i overstepped his boundaries. He said it’s all good no worries it’s not about you mentioning my gf i js don’t know what’s happening. I told him it’s okay to go for a couple days if he doesn’t wanna talk to me or have a break from talking to me, he says smth along the lines of “no i wanna keep talking to you id never need a break from that”. so i said okay and moved on (atp i started thinking this isn’t fair to his gf and this lowk kinda counts as emotionally cheating imo).
One day i decided to js give him a face reveal cus ive known him for a long time now and ive seen his face before, i send him what i look like and he says “idk why u didn’t face reveal earlier you don’t even look bad” so i told him a couple of reasons why i dont face reveal easily. Later that night we decided to call and he was the same as he was on text, funny, chill, sense of humor, not weird, and overall just fun to talk to. One thing did really stick out to me was him mentioning me being pretty (which might seem harmless but why are you saying this when u have a gf) i didn’t think much of it during the call and js said oh thank you and moved on. After ending the call we kept on texting everyday and whatever but all of a sudden i felt like im overstepping a boundary because this guy was taken and im literally speaking to him everyday, i started feeling very guilty about it and started slowly distancing myself (i know it’s bad but i genuinely couldn’t communicate what i felt to him)
i started slowly responding later, being more dry, and overall not being myself around him. A week passes by with me acting like this and him asking me multiple times if im ok or not. He decides to call me and i answer him thinking it might be an emergency, but he just says we need to talk on call since you think avoiding me on text was a good idea. I was flabbergasted. He started saying that he’s sorry if he did something wrong and if i felt uncomfortable with talking to him, i just said why i started distancing myself, i do admit it took a long time to fully tell him why i was doing what i did. He was quiet for a really long time and he said that he didn’t realize that us being this close would make me uncomfortable and he apologized over and over, even though i told him it’s not your fault you don’t need to apologize to me. We talked it out and we went back to normal. During another call he asked me something which stood out to me. He said “what do you think of friends who are jokingly freaky towards each other?” i asked him to elaborate because i needed more context. He says “there’s these friends on tiktok, a girl and a boy, who make videos together and they’re freaky with each other and always say it’s a joke between them. The guys taken tho and the comments always ask what his gf thinks abt it but they never reply to those comments” and what he just said honestly explained what me and him are. Friends who are jokingly freaky with each other, and hes taken. I decided to ask him what the username was so i that i can decide an answer. He suddenly changed the topic and didn’t wanna give me a username (now i was pretty sure he made everything up) so i honestly js let it go. During that same call he said something rude as a joke and i replied saying “awww thanks” as sarcasm yk? he then proceeded to say “why u kinda sound like my girl” but he stopped himself before he finished what he was saying. He basically said “why u kinda sound like my gi-“ and i said huh what’d u say, he said oh nothing then ended the call in a hurry. This happened about two months ago, maybe longer, and since then he hasn’t been acting normal. He’s barely replying to my texts, only texts me in order to keep the streak going on tiktok, very dry, and honestly basically ignoring my existence. I decided to ask him about it and he says he has a lot of personal stuff going on and i said okay lmk if u need anytning. He just said okay. I didn’t think much of it because he’s going through stuff and i didn’t wanna seem clingy, so i only texted him for the streak (he did lose the streak multiple times but oh well)
Last night the streak ended again and he restored it and said dang mb i’ve been really inactive lately, i said it’s okay take your time. He says damn i haven’t talk to you in a while, i said yeahh it’s been weird not talking everyday. He says yeah mb anyways hru girl i say oh im good wbuu. He never replied after that and i honestly dont even know what to make of this anymore. Like does he wanna be friends? Did he catch feelings and is trying to completely avoid me? Is he genuinely going through stuff or is he lying in order not to talk to me?
ugh idek dude i know this is long, and i prob missed A LOT of details i genuinely have no energy to type more soooo give me your opinions on this whole situation even if you think im the bad guy.

OK, so last year I had met this guy and me and my friend went on a call with him with his friend and we were having fun. You know it wasn’t anything serious and stuff but then we started messaging. Let’s call this guy cookie so me and cookie started messaging privately and at first you know we had only known each other for a couple of hours so we kept going on calls and you know trying to get to know each other and he started talking to me about his favorite music and stuff and we realized we had a lot of music in common that we like, so on Spotify we did a Spotify blend and we had like a 96% match of songs that we both like and have in our favorites, so a day later, we went on another call, and mind you he is younger than me so that’s like a really bad thing but he’s only a couple months younger so it’s not that big of an age gap, but I still feel weird about it anyways literally two days later after knowing each other, he confesses his love to me and I’m not talking about a crush and you know harmless joke no full on I love you and I can’t live without you and you’re my soulmate and whatever, and I do not do relationships like at all I don’t date, I’ve never been in a talking stage. Well I have but it’s not that big of a deal you know and so after he confesses his love, he’s like I’ll wait for you and stuff like I’ll wait years for you and I’m like I do not date and I’ve told him before when we were on a call like I don’t date I don’t do relationships. I don’t do that type of stuff and then he’s like yeah I know, but I would literally wait years for you like you don’t get it and I felt really sketchy about this whole thing so I told him that I’m not gonna be in a relationship with you like not now, not ever I don’t see us working out and you know that I don’t do relationships he’s like yeah but if we’re both single in like 10 years, I want us to start talking again and see if the relationship could go somewhere and honestly, I was just like you know what OK like I don’t even know what to say. Mind you like a couple hours before this we were on call he was screen sharing, and he broke up with this girl while screen sharing so mind you he had broken up a couple hours before this and I didn’t even know what to make of that. He kept on saying I love your voice. I love your energy like ever since I heard your voice two days ago. It’s like love at first sight and he hasn’t even seen my face like he doesn’t know if I’m a catfish. He doesn’t know if I’m trolling him he doesn’t know any of that he’s just going based off my voice and my voice is not even appealing like I don’t sound girly. I don’t sound confident, I don’t have a voice that’s for the male appeal. You know what I mean, so anyways I felt really bad about the whole thing I had like weird vibes going on and I did not know what to make of it because he told me he’s dated a lot of women especially older women like he’s been a victim of a lot of older women and I told him like dude you’re a victim and then he’s like no I like it when they’re older oh my gosh anyways I did not know if this was actually him confessing or if it was a trick to try to get me on his roster so I told him like hey I can’t do this and I blocked him on everything and yeah this year actually a couple months ago I randomly remembered him and I was like let me see how he’s doing, but I remembered I had blocked him on everything so I tried seeing the blocked account on Instagram and his account was deleted and so I went on the place that we met and his account was also deleted but his friend’s account that we were in a call with me and my friend was still there, so i decided to message him and be like hey what’s going on, after he replied i asked him about cookie and if he has a new account and whatnot so the friend decided to make a gc of me, him, and cookie. We started talking in the gc and whatever but cookie wasn’t online yet, after he became online i started talking to him in the gc and he said that he remembered me and we should talk in priv. After talking in private we decided to take the conversation back to instagram. We started talking again and stuff it was really chill yk, we decided to call again to catch up and stuff. A couple months later we’re still friends, talking everyday, and i thought that we would still be friends yk no feelings and whatever, BUT one day me and my friend called him together and he was acting really off and i couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with him, so after the call ended i asked him what was wrong, he said nothing i js like it better when we call alone i said okay that’s valid so next time we called it was alone. A week later id say my friend added her hb to the gc and her, her hb, cookie, and me all called on the gc and i honestly felt like it was really fun. But one thing that stuck out to me was that whenever i’d try talking to my friends hb cookie would try cutting me off, and whenever i’d try asking the hb questions, the hb would say oh why don’t you answer first then i’ll answer your question, so i answered first not thinking much of it then out of nowhere cookie started saying nah she’s lying she’s js saying that to get an answer out of you, and i got genuinely pissed off cus like why are you trying to stop him from answering a question that i asked him ykwim? anyways i left the call and cookie texted me saying “you had fun in the call?” i said “honestly, no. whenever i tried asking the her hb questions or just talking to him in general you’d always cut me off or get him not to answer my questions which i found really odd.” he proceeded to say “oh i did?” like dude yk you did wtf? anyways i said “yes you did” he said “oh mb i didn’t realize, next time ill let you talk to him. i just found it funny how u lied abt your answer to get him to answer it.” i then said “i didnt lie about any of the answers i told him.” i didnt reply after that because i genuinely so mad, even though it was something small, i was still pissed off. The next morning he says wanna call? i said i can probably call tonight and he says alr cant wait, i ask him you wanna call in the gc or in private? he says in private so that i can focus only on you. I didn’t know how to feel abt that so i just said OK. That night i was really busy and couldn’t call so i told him and he said yeah it’s fine let’s call tmrw. Tomorrow comes and i started asking him questions about the call again and after i finish asking him questions he says are you done with the questions? i say yeah thats all for now. He then says so it’s either you asking me questions or complete silence? i said yeah pretty much and he says alr text me if u have anymore questions. I was sending my friend all the ss of what was happening and she told me to flirt with him and whatnot to see if he still had feelings for me. So i said anything to keep your attention, after that we started flirting back and forth, and i do admit i sent the ss to my friend because i needed her opinion to see if he has feelings or if he’s just doing it for fun. She said she thinks he has feelings for me and i said idk guess we’ll find out. The next morning i open instagram and see his note to a love song and i was like is this about me? as a joke but he acc said yeah it is. I was flabbergasted. so then he wanted to call i said idk i might not call cus i might be w my roster ykwim? he said i hope your roster is as strong as mine. i said oh so you do have a roster? he said nah i don’t. (forgot to mention when we started talking i asked him about last year when he confessed his love to me if it was real or if it was all a game to get me into his roster. he said no it was all real i never had a roster) so after that he started acting really weird and he would barely reply so i asked my friend to text him on instagram while me and her were on a call. he said he felt disrespected when i joked abt having a roster because he had been waiting all this time for me (while fully knowing i don’t do relationships) and i was acc in shock because i didn’t know that he genuinely felt disrespected. so i texted him privately, took accountability for what i did, apologized, and told him i hope we can still be friends. he said yeah id like to be friends as well but i might need time to see if i still wanna wait for you and i said yeah that’s completely valid. At this point it was 6 am so i decided to say good night and went to sleep. I woke up to see his note was a name (not gonna say the name) with a red heart next to it. i didn’t ask him about it because i felt like it would give him satisfaction so i left it alone. last week was my birthday and he didn’t wish me a happy birthday so i texted him as a joke saying oh so no happy birthday for me? at 11 pm. He responded saying don’t spoil the surprise I’ll give u the gift when im home. i was like woah what gift?? He said just have patience i’ll show u when im home. so i said okay. I fell asleep and didn’t get to see what he made me. so when i woke up i texted him hey sorry i fell asleep im ready for the gift now. he sends me a link so i open it, it was a full essay talking abt how much he enjoys my company, how he doesn’t know what we are and if we will ever be something, how much he looks forwards to us talking even if it’s about the stupidest stuff. Then he made me a playlist of songs that remind him of me, how he feels about me, and things that remind him of US. he then proceeds to send me pics of bouquets of flowers (plural). One that he got because it was pretty, one that he got with dark red flowers (my fav color), beige flowers (his fav color), and white (for purity). i was genuinely in tears and honestly shocked that he did all this for me. I thanked him over and over showing how much i appreciate it. The upcoming week we talked everyday flirted everyday, but i didn’t like flirting because it felt like something romantic and stuff so i tried avoiding the flirting whenever possible, he now says everyday how much he missed me, how things reminded him of me, and romantic stuff which i try avoiding as much as possible because one thing about me, when someone shows they care for me (especially a man) i try distancing myself as much as possible, idek why it’s like my brain tellls me “oh they don’t care about you, they’re doing this for fun, they don’t mean anything they say” which im trying to work on but it isn’t working. i probably missed a lot of details because i am typing this in a hurry.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING!! EVEN IF IT IS OFFENSIVE I DON’T CARE!!