r/NoOverthinking

so me and my bf are completing one year together tomorrow and i cannot really feel the excitement, it's like all gone and I can blame myself for this. so the thing is I think I'm so insecure and overthinker about this topic. it is about my bf's female friendships. okay I just want to know if it is completely normal to go with his two "good" female friends out whole day like 12 hours together just to hangout. i mean yeah it maybe normal but whenever I hear about it, I don't feel right, and I've talked to him alot many times about the same topic but he only says that I need to trust him and be understanding, cause I'm not the only responsibility he has, while he is a boyfriend, he is also a good friend to someone else, and im unable to understand it. and few days pehle hi i caught him talking to a girl he liked in past, jabki maine ek baar mana kiya tha, well baadme he accepted and assured ki wapas aisa nahi hoga, but still it has a impact on me.so overall, the thing is ki idk why but I don't feel good about this relationship. I used to be very excited in the start and even count like one month completed, two months completed like an idiot, and tomorrow as a whole anniversary, I don't feel anything like I used to feel before. so tell me if I'm insecure and what can I do to not get insecure and jealous about his female friendships. maybe it's me, I don't want to end it, initially thought of this relationship to be long lasting and still I wish it will be long lasting, neither I have courage to end this because one year is alot to handle.

I think what is frustrating me right now is that my time obsession never works in my favor, I wish it would help me get that push to find emergency energy to complete tasks. Instead it works as a dead weight that lurks in my head all day. If I have days off of work, I tend to look at it like “I only have this much time”, and this could be 4/6 days off of work. I make these weird assessments all the time. I get myself convinced that there is no point to start a task because time will run out. Prior to this happening I would still obsess but it was because I would constantly get interrupted. That was ridiculous too. To be fair to myself, I was in an extremely stressful situation with my husband in psychosis for years. He’s so much better now and has been since Feb 2024. I have made a lot of improvements and I am constantly working on myself. During that long period everything fell on me and then I was also hyper vigilant about everything all the time. That experience was obviously exhausting and traumatic. I’ve been in therapy weekly since November 2024. I began EDMR recently for what I believe are lingering issues that my body is stuck feeling all the feels from.
Maybe I am asking for too much by wanting to be a functioning adult but these roadblocks are just pissing me off. I feel like I am always in a bad mood and it’s made worse because there’s so much chaos around me because everything is a unfinished hot mess. I try to practice radical acceptance and reframing my thoughts but it’s like I am so consumed by the obstacles I give myself, I feel like nothing works.

Has anyone experienced something similar and been successful overcoming it?

My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) were together for almost four years (LDR), and I think we broke up... but honestly, even that feels confusing.

There wasn't a proper breakup. We argued, then one day we just stopped talking. Usually after every fight I was the one begging him to talk and fix things because I couldn't bear losing him. He's extremely avoidant and has ghosted before, then come back acting like nothing happened.

This time I didn't call. I didn't beg. Partly because I was exhausted, but also because I didn't want to boost his ego by always being the one who came back to fix everything. I knew if I reached out, I'd probably end up apologizing, getting hurt again, and losing more self-respect.

It's been a week.

Two days after we stopped talking, I found out he followed several girls on Instagram. We don't even follow each other anymore because his account is private, but I actually asked my cousin to screen share his profile so I could see who he followed. I know how unhealthy that sounds, and I hate that I've become this person.

Now I'm constantly checking whether he's online on WhatsApp, checking if his location updates on Find My.I keep imagining he's talking to another girl. I know none of this is helping me, but I can't seem to stop.

Meanwhile, he seems completely fine. My brain keeps telling me he's already moving on and that our four-year relationship meant nothing to him. I know I can't actually know that's true, but it feels impossible to stop thinking that way.

I'm barely eating, barely sleeping, and I can't focus on my studies. Nothing distracts me anymore. Movies, going out, talking to friends... everything eventually leads back to thinking about him.

I don't even think I'm asking how to get him back anymore. I think I'm asking how to get myself back.

If you've gone through something similar, how did you stop obsessing over what your ex was doing? How did you stop checking their social media, location, or online status? How did you stop feeling responsible for fixing everything? Most importantly, how did you survive those first few weeks when it felt like your whole body was addicted to them?

Therapy isn't really an option for me because I'm a student and can't afford it where I live.

I'm genuinely willing to try anything because I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want revenge, and I don't want him back just because he's lonely. I just want to stop feeling like I'm losing my mind and finally move on.

When i get dressed i overthink that people will think I am trying too hard to get attention and when I don’t look good and I don’t dress well. I feel like people will think that I don’t deserve to be here and I look ugly, and I always think that people are noticing me, and I just always have this fear and I don’t know what to do, and even when I’m going somewhere, I can’t even do my hair because I would overthink that maybe people will judge me for doing it, and when I don’t do it all day I just be quiet because I think I don’t deserve to talk today.

Also i don’t talk when someone is also there
Like if i am talking to someone and there are only 2
People me and the other person i am okay in talking
But when i see someone else is also listening i think they’ll judge me so i don’t say anything and feel conscious

21M here, I am delaying my schedule every morning with just day dreaming

I am trying to make new habits like meditation for 15 minutes and 15 minutes some movement or a walk

But somehow and when I get up this day dreaming already starts and I delay everything

I am building discipline out of unstable emotions, overthinking, fapping

Help me how to get good with morning

How do you people get your first task / habit done

Do you immediately jump on it or do you wait for some time to get started

ever since i turned 14 me and my dad would get into really bad fights which would result to him not speaking to me for months. sometimes its my fault, and sometime its his, but neither of us apologize. sometimes we randomly start talking again and then two weeks later we have another argument and he stops acknowledging i exist again, and during that time he would treat my little sister extra well, like a punishment or something.

anyways, my mom is constantly pissed at me for “not caring about my dad” and today my dad had to leave for two weeks and i didnt say goodbye since hes ignoring me anyways, and she called me heartless. am i really a terrible person?

so mere gym me ak ladki aati hai she is beautiful 2, 3 week ho gye hai kabhi mene usko approch nhi kiya i like her kal usko ak ladke se baat krte dekha to bhut bura feel hua aaj bhi us se hand shake and baat krte suna to mood of ho gya gym bhi krne ka man nhi hua mene to usko approch nhi kr paya me kar hi nhi pata What should I do to not feel sad meri workout bhi shi se nhi ho pa rhi hai and pata nhi me usi incident ke bare me kyo soch rha hu i know ye normal hai jealousy hoti hai but vo mind ki piece ko kha rhi hai, I am decent looking guy but don't have confidence to approch girl or talk or initiate conversation please help give me some tips and why our mind feelings so much jealousy about this mere ko pata hai me gym jauga daily aur ye sab dekh kar apna mind thik kaise karu " and kya me use aage kabhi hii bol skta hu

Is this anything related to culture or not?

If you are virgin just say yes and if you are not just say no!! What's the big deal that they lie 🤥

Geniune question no offense to anyone

When i get dressed i overthink that people will think I am trying too hard to get attention and when I don’t look good and I don’t dress well. I feel like people will think that I don’t deserve to be here and I look ugly, and I always think that people are noticing me, and I just always have this fear and I don’t know what to do, and even when I’m going somewhere, I can’t even do my hair because I would overthink that maybe people will judge me for doing it, and when I don’t do it all day I just be quiet because I think I don’t deserve to talk today.

Also i don’t talk when someone is also there
Like if i am talking to someone and there are only 2
People me and the other person i am okay in talking
But when i see someone else is also listening i think they’ll judge me so i don’t say anything and feel conscious

I struggle to let things go. Even the smallest words or situations stay in my mind, and I replay them constantly—whether I'm with my family, walking, or trying to sleep. My thoughts never seem to stop, leaving me mentally exhausted and disconnected from the present.

I believe this began after I was called "stupid" and "slow to understand." Those words became deeply rooted in my mind, making me question everything I say and do. Over time, I started believing that I was unintelligent and worthless. I became my own harshest critic, constantly comparing myself to others and feeling that everyone is better than me.

This has left me feeling completely lost, as if I'm trapped in a maze with no way out. The emotional pain is overwhelming, and it has affected every aspect of my life—my academic performance, daily functioning, relationships, and self-confidence. I now prefer isolation, and I've even begun to lose my ability to communicate, as speaking feels difficult and words no longer come easily.

Just like the title says, I always find myself analyzing everything in my head and thinking about what exactly I’m doing or how I’m being perceived instead of just living if that makes any sense.

Most recent example and why I am making this post is from when I went to my friend’s wedding earlier this week. All of my friends were there and having fun on the dance floor or jumping in the pool, but I just can never do those things especially with so many people I don’t know around. I too busy thinking that jumping up and down to a stupid song is too “cringe” or worried how I look to other people there or cameras. (I am very aware that I’m much more of a loser thinking things like that than I would be if I actually joined in) Even when I do force myself to join in on stuff like that I’m never actually enjoying it and I’m in my head thinking this is so stupid.

Is this purely a personality thing and I shouldn’t try to be who I’m not?

When I get drunk I can enjoy myself fully without thinking about stuff like that, so often times with friends I try to drink so I can have fun, but that’s pretty bad to need to drink to have fun right? (Even getting drunk is hard for me because of how in my head I am, it takes a lot of any substance or drug to really effect me because the whole time before it really kicks or if it’s a low dose I’m just thinking about how I’m not feeling it or it’s not effecting me)

Kinda went on too long but I can explain more if anyone sees this and cares to have some input, also taking advice for other subs that better fit this or if anyone has posted something similar, thanks.

Curious if other people do this. I'm currently getting to know someone from work and I think we're getting along great. Our conversations are always fun, we work well together and always like to chat about the various things we have going on in and outside of work. I believe we're both neurodivergent and share a lot of the same habits/nuances. I feel very comfortable talking to this person and notice I don't have to overthink how to navigate conversations while we talk like I do with most people, and it leads me to wanting to talk to him a lot more. Recently we exchanged phone numbers, but now I'm afraid to utilize it. I always worry that they're going to see my text and think "ugh THIS person again". I hate to assume that anyone actually wants to talk to me even though nothing actually happens to that reinforce that belief. Is anyone else overly anxious about stuff like this? I always worry I'm just annoying and overbearing.

I [27F] have been with my fiancé [31M] for [1,5 years], and we are currently engaged. He has a close female best friend [30F] who has been in his life for years. She is fully aware that we are engaged.

Lately, I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable with the dynamic between them. They text each other frequently, and she regularly sends him selfies and pictures of herself framed as "life updates," accompanied by texts saying "I miss you."

A while ago, I found out that he had completely deleted their conversation. This led to a major fight between us because it felt like he was actively hiding things from me. While we moved past it, the frequent texting has continued, and it’s triggering that same anxiety.

I don't want to come across as controlling, but I feel like these constant "updates" and "I miss you" texts are crossing a line now that we are building a life together, especially given the past dishonesty.

How can I approach this conversation with my fiancé to establish firm, healthy boundaries without making him defensive?

Hello so I've tried journaling before very occasionally but I haven't found it helping me as much as I think it has the potential to. I write down my thoughts and my feelings and positive things whenever I feel like it's getting too much and it helps only for a little bit till I start thinking about those things again. Another thing that also happens is that whenever I write things down to get thoughts off my head writing just makes me think about them more? I really want jounraling to help me out and i know it can I just don't know how to do it correctly. I do meditate as well, so I just want to do this to seal the deal and finally get out of my head completely. So to the beautiful people here, let me know if there's anything I could do or try :]

I keep having these thoughts and obsessing over myself secretly being a bad person. I keep thinking that there is something seriously wrong with me but I can’t figure out what.

I have a partner and I’ve brought this up to him because I feel like I’m a red flag because I get too emotional. He said he doesn’t mind and that he doesn’t feel like I’m hard to be around. So at least there is him that is validating me in that I’m not a bad person. We have had arguments, and I feel like I was very harsh in some but he says that he didn’t think so. He is in love with me but I can’t shake the feeling that he shouldn’t be, even though I try hard in the relationship.

The problem is that I don’t have any friends right now. I drifted apart from all of them in the last year because I was giving all of the effort. So I feel like I could be just terrible but not know it because I don’t have friends to back me up. Usually people who are well-liked have friends. I do have family, and for the last couple years my parents have been nice to me overall but they used to be extremely mean and make me feel like everyone hates me, and I have not been affectionate with my parents since I was a child, and I feel like there is a secret reason why they’ve always hated me and I just don’t know what it is. I spend time with them about once a week and always feel uneasy. At work everyone seems fine with me, but I mostly work from home independently and rarely interact with my team.

I feel this way because of things I’ve done far into the past. Like when I haven’t been nice to someone in the past, when people throughout my life have not liked me for (seemingly) no reason. I also used to be really negative when I go through depressive episodes but I have been really working on that the last few years. I just feel like I deserve to be hated. I try to be nice but sometimes I end up just being neutral. I also am not really smiley, I smile with people in comfortable around (my partner right now), but I have an RBF a lot of the time that I’m really self-conscious about.

Caught myself having a full conversation out loud while doing dishes the other night, nobody else in the room. Don't remember doing this as much before having kids, maybe because there's rarely an adult around to actually talk to during the day anymore. Not in a concerning way, just narrating my own thoughts apparently.

Curious if this is a parent thing specifically or just something that happens with isolation in general.

Is there anyway to stop overthinking and stop feeling anxious about small things?