Problem/Goal: Am i overthinking or is my friend actually copying me?

hello! first time posting on reddit 😭 i mostly just scroll here so idk how this works.

i’m the type of friend who actually likes matching things and sharing interests with people. i don’t gatekeep hobbies or styles at all. but there’s this one friend na iba talaga yung feeling ko and i need outside opinions kasi i don’t know if valid ba nafifeel ko or if i’m overthinking.

i’m very vocal with my friends. kapag may bagong interest ako, style change, or something i’m excited about, sinasabi ko talaga.

i first noticed it when i switched from silver jewelry to gold. my boyfriend started giving me gold accessories and eventually i realized gold suits me more, so i started wearing it often.

i also have this heart locket necklace na gift niya. then when i looked at old pictures namin, i realized after i started wearing that necklace, my friend started wearing a very similar heart necklace too (not a locket, but heart shaped din).

at first i ignored it kasi baka coincidence lang.
pero lately parang sunod-sunod na.
even small things like, i clap kapag sobrang natatawa ako, napansin ko she started doing it too, i sway a little habang nagdadasal during morning prayer, she started doing that after naging seatmates kami (she never used to do that even nung freshies palang kami), i started wearing more light-colored clothes (white, beige, cream) and it became a big part of my style, she started dressing like that too, i started wearing press-on nails, she started doing that too.

again, i LIKE matching and sharing interests. i really do. but this started feeling different.

then it went beyond style.
i was the first one in our section who got into guitar. she actually broke my guitar before and after some time, she suddenly got into guitar too.

what bothered me more is parang pati future plans ko naaadapt niya na rin. obviously i don’t own careers or dreams, but i’ve always been vocal since kindergarten that i wanted to become a nurse. i talk about it a lot with friends. then recently we had a project related to dream jobs and i got surprised kasi same na same na yung dream job niya.

even the university i’ve always talked about wanting for nursing became her dream university too—kahit before, hindi naman iyon yung plans niya.

i know nobody owns interests, schools, careers, colors, hobbies, etc. and i don’t want to sound self-centered 😭 but at this point parang napapaisip na talaga ako.

i haven’t told any of my friends about this yet because i don’t want to sound self-centered or like i think i own certain styles/interests. i know people can naturally influence each other and i actually enjoy matching with friends. but lately i’ve been feeling uncomfortable and i don’t know if it’s because i’m noticing patterns too much or because there really are boundaries being crossed.

should i just ignore this? distance myself a little? or is this something worth bringing up with her? if you’ve experienced something similar, how did you handle it without making things awkward?

Hi, I’m just here to share 2 poems that I wrote. I have no experience in writing poems but I hope people appreciate this. I wrote them when I was on a low.
————————
Souls unveiling,
warm blanket of the day-star
encased our fleshy-prison.
Further sailing, drifting,
out on the whale-path.
The feeling of earth’s breath
tickling my fingers.
The beat of drums building,
thunders and echoes.

————————
Dark eyes, starry-eyed.
my phone, a source of light.
If eyes are windows to the soul,
Souls are like stars.
Pure, gleaming with light.
Phone so bright yet a void.
A void deep and dark,
A black hole eating stars.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I’m going to keep some details intentionally vague because my job is public enough that I’d rather not have this traced back to me, im not really famous, im not a formula 1 driver, but if i give all the details anyone who reads this can easily found out who i am, if you are a motorsport fanatic you probably know my name.

i’m 3-M (30 something male), living in calgary. i work in professional motorsport. not f1, but the endurance side of things, imsa, wec, gtwc, stuff like that. I’m a factory driver for a major manufacturer, driving both gt cars and prototypes.

from the outside, it sounds like a dream life, i know how hard is to be in the position i am today, in a business that demands so much luck, so much be in the right place in the right time, and im really grateful for it. i get paid kinda well to do something I would easily do for free back in the day.

but now i feel been held hostage by it.

my wife passed away three years ago. she was canadian, and after we got married in 2012 we settled here permanently. since she died, it’s just been me and my daughter. She was 9 when it happened and she’s 12 now.

we were always very close, i have always being a very present father and we became even closer after it happened. we kind of survived it together.

we are both huge nerds aswell. i got her into gaming years ago when she was 7 and now we have this whole game room in the house with side by side PCs, retro consoles from my era, modern stuff, all of it. my favorite thing in the world is just sitting there with her playing anything for hours we recently have been obsessed with the minecraft bedrock adventures worlds that you can buy from the game store. I also play a lot of games myself always have been obsessed with rpgs growing up, wow, final fantasy, earthbound etc, for the last few years i became obsessed with from software i’d rather do that than race being honest, since race became kind of an obligation recently.

losing her mom really damaged her sense of security. she still crawls into my bed almost every night. she will hold onto me crying and ask me to promise I'm not going to leave her too. sometimes her school calls because she has panic attacks and just wants me there, i drive there every single time. she’s in therapy and we’re working on it, but the anxiety is still there.

the hard part is my job requires travel. i’m usually home during the week, but race weekends are brutal for both of us. she calls constantly while i’m away just to make sure i’m okay, my sister in law stay with her during the race weekends, i dont bring her with me, cause i will be in the car a lot of times, and who is going to take care of her? and also she doesnt want to come anyways so, my sister inlaw works aswell, she need to be here in the fridays and the mondays, i usually leaves on the thursday and comes back on the monday or tuesday, during about i think around 20 weekends this year its not much, and i have the entire week free to be with her, so also dont work 8 hours a day its really great, and im really grateful for it, when she is at school, im at the gym, or cycling im doing the best to also take care of myself, and she always says she will file a complaint if i dont live till 120 atleast,

a few weeks ago a driver died during an nls race at the nurburgring. in a crash involving multiple cars. i was supposed to be racing the nurburgring 24 this weekend and i backed out completely. wich is also giving me another problems that are also fear for the only job i have that i can't lose, i sent them some certificate my psychiatrist gave me, and explained the reason was that, someone died there, i have problem, dont know if it helped cause i have no clause in my contract for it, but also the nurburgring 24 is an isolated race its not a part of any championship so i think its really not a big deal, i skipped races when my wife was diagnosed and got away with it so...

it also brought back memories i think i buried for years. back in 2013 I was in a race where another driver died. i never really stopped thinking about it but i was in a much better mental state back then to deal with it, and if i died my wife had choosed my she knew what i worked with, and i wasnt a dad back then, and i wouldnt leave a kid who lost her mother behind if it happened to me.

i’ve always known racing has risks, obviously, but modern gt and prototype cars are so safe now that somewhere along the line i convinced myself the danger was basically theoretical until last month.

i have diagnosed ocd and anxiety, and lately it’s spiraling very badly. my therapist has helped me a lot in the past with exposure therapy and ocd treatment, but with this specific issue he keeps coming back to the idea that I have to just accept and i dont how a professional makes such a dumb suggestion, that exposition therapy would work i have been trought it with my ocd, cause this is for when you freak out with irational toughts, that trigger your brain to thinks its dangerous, but this, this is not a irrational tought, cause it is really dangerous, the danger is in there, is not fictional.

because if something happens to me, what happens to my daughter? she already lost one parent. the thought of her losing both it is just so absurd, its like i know the risk is extremely low, but what if? the result would be catastrophe, something so absurd, that even thinking about it, triggers my ocd extremely hard, the ocd i really tought i defeated them like more than 10 years ago that now keeps coming back, and i started to do all the rituals again, and i tried to talk with chatgpt about this, and my advice dont use ai for therapy, he just wants to makes you hear whatever you want, the suggestions are pretty much stupid.

the thing is, if it were only about what I wanted, I’d retire tomorrow. i’ve been racing since i was 4 years old when my dad bought me a kart. i had a lot of racing in my life the passion isnt so strong anymore, i can live without it.

right before my wife got sick, we bought a house here in calgary. beautiful place, great area, the kind of home i could only dream off years ago. the mortgage is enormous. my daughter absolutely loves this house. it’s the one place in the world where she feels safe and stable.

even if i sold it (wich i dont have the guts to do) and walked away from racing, i don’t think i could realistically replace my income. i never went to college. i don’t really have another career waiting for me. my entire adult life has been built around racing, i wont have the money to keep paying for her school, and the last thing she needs is being taken away from the friends she built in that school she goes since she was little. or even pay for her college in the future.

so now I feel completely trapped. if I keep racing, i’m terrified i’ll die. if I walk away, i’m terrified i’ll fail my daughter financially, she said to me something that really broked me aswell she said something like when we were talking about racing and the need for the money, "dad if we both lived under a bridge over a cardboard, i would still be as happy, i just want you, i just want you around", wich she was 11 when she said it, wich also made me realize that she may realized the value of her parents way to soon, when i was eleven i was probably very embarrassed by my parents and didnt want them close, of course i have no problems with them, i think its just a natural thing growing up and i was ready for the day she would be embarrased by me, so what she said felt really wonderful and concerning at the same time, in a sense its kinda true, and felt proud cause she is wise in that sense, but also i mean in reality is not that simple, i know of course we wouldnt end up under a bridge, but she may wont be able to keep her school, wich she has all her friends there, and we would lost the house that has been perfect for us, and really helped us.

and the worst part is thanks to my ocd i can’t even enjoy the time i have with her because my brain is constantly somewhere else. we’ll be sitting together playing games and all I can think about is, “what if i’m not here next week?”, and i do some rituals if you have ocd you know, one of them is that i blink my eyes to make the intrusive tought go away, and my daughter sometimes asks why i blink to much, and also i dont know exactly how to explain to her, i told her about ocd but i dont think she really understanded what it is.

when i go racing i tell her the risk is low. i tell her the cars are safe. but I can’t bring myself to actually promise it, because i know i can’t guarantee it. and when I don’t say it, she cries harder.

i feel like fear is consuming every part of my life right now. i honestly don’t know how much longer i can keep living like this. sometimes i woke up and just think, i sell the house, i stop racing, and what? work with what? most drivers who stop driving became coachs, but i dont think its a job i can do, cause im also a person with kinda poor social skills, and i dont feel like im able to teach anyone good enought to be able to be paid for it, i have a quite good career, i feel like people would pay for me for coaching, but i feel like i would just dissapoint them and lose this job, i dont think i can make a career out of it, or anything that would even come close to the income i have now.

i feel like i wrote this in the most poor way possible, my brain is just going to somewhere else everytime i can't even describe everything well, i feel like i wrote this, and i think oh did i already wrote this, and i may have written again, so sorry for this, if anyone has suggestions or just wanna talk i would really appreciate, and i always went to therapy since im 18 thanks to my ocd, but this time it really isnt helping, days are going past in a blur, and i dont feel like i am really enjoying anything thanks to this damn intrusive toughts that i might die the next time i go to work, i could fight my other intrusive toughts i had in another era of my life, but this ones were irational, i was just ocd in its purest form, this ones it is ocd, but it has a true background behind it.

This girl that I’ve dated in the past, so yes my ex, and I have started seeing each other again as of this summer. We’ve already seen each other twice this summer and it just feels off.

When we hang I always feel anxious and I don’t flow as good as I do with my friends, but we’re still very intimate. But she blows off/ takes forever to respond to my texts from time to time. But whenever we hang out I’m making her laugh a lot and she tells me she likes me. I kind of feel like an option.

I don’t get the chance to exactly describe my situation but you get the gist. I’m very attracted to this girl and we get along great and she tells me she misses me. Yet from time to time things just don’t feel right.

I need help. Am I just being anxious, or is this pattern something I should be concerned about.

(UPDATE: We talked it out, and she’s just very insecure and we’re going to commit to being better for each other yay)

Like instead of writing down actually useful stuff you don’t want to forget - “clean my shoes when I get home,” “buy groceries,” etc. - you catch yourself filling your head (or notes app) with random questions or overthinking things that most people probably wouldn’t even dwell on.

It’s like your brain decides this is the thing we need to analyze right now, even though logically you know there are more practical things to remember.

And then there’s this weird tension of: “Should I really be focusing on this?” vs. “But what if I forget this thought later?”

Does anyone else do this, or is my brain just running its own weird side quests?

Sorry if I'm on the wrong sub, I'll delete if it's now allowed.

My mental state is beyond gone. I feel numb, and alone. My head feels clouded constantly. I am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep, and I am struggling to stomach food.
The only thing I feel physically and mentally is pain. It's to a point where I am begging to be hurt in some way, because I'd rather feel something, then nothing.
I know it's best to get it off my chest, but my family raised me to not talk about what's going on in my head, so I struggle to open up ever.
I can't open up to family, I'll just be ridiculed. I don't trust anyone else, other than my girlfriend.
When I tried to open up with her in the past, it caused a panic attack in her, and I had to help with that instead.
I like to be alone, but I've never felt this empty and hollow before, and I just don't know what to do.
I hope getting it out off my chest will help.

Let me start by saying that I tend to overthink, it somehow keeps me sane. I’ve had someone I consider a close friend for a few years now, but lately, I feel like something is off.
They’ve visited my town several times, and every single time, I invite them to stay over at my place. Somehow, there’s always a reason not to. (For context: they’ve never been to my house, and no, it’s not because I’m messy. I’m actually extremely organized)
Whenever I suggest we grab a meal together, there’s always an excuse, even if I offer to drive to her town. I’ve also bought them gifts and I’ve tried to send multiple times, but nothing ever comes of it, and we keep pushing back.
I’m always the one texting first and replying quickly, while they’ll respond days or even a week later. Their reason is always that they’re busy. But honestly, I’m busy too: with work and with trying to survive adulthood.
The other day, I tried telling her about my longtime crush, and she completely brushed it off like it was nothing. I don’t usually talk about boys or men, so I just wanted to share that silly excitement girls sometimes have over crushes. Meanwhile, we can spend ages talking about “her man, her man,” which I genuinely don’t mind because her partner seems very supportive.
I’m tired of always being the one making the effort, but at the same time, I don’t want to be a bad friend.
I don’t mind being without friends, but she’s emotionally supported me during difficult times. Emotionally, I feel indebted, physically I am tired.
Am I overthinking everything? And when did friendships become so difficult.

I’m stuck grieving something that never even had a name. Stuck between moving on and holding onto the smallest hope that maybe this wasn’t supposed to end here.
Because the truth is… it’s not that I can’t let you go.
It’s that a part of my heart still believes you were supposed to stay.

Has anyone felt like that too!

I used to think all my problems came from lack of motivation.

Turns out most of my problems came from lack of clarity.

I would spend hours thinking about life, my future, goals, problems, ideas. And somehow my brain convinced me that thinking is equal to progress.

It isn't.

Thinking without action just becomes mental masturbation after a point.

What actually helped me move forward was creating systems that stop me from living only inside my head.

1. Write daily.

This genuinely changed a lot for me.

Most thoughts in our head are noise. Random fears, fake urgency, overthinking, comparison, imaginary scenarios. When you write daily, you slowly separate actual problems from mental clutter.

And once you start getting clarity, life becomes simpler.

You stop staring at the ceiling wondering what to do because now you actually know what matters to you.

Purpose removes a surprising amount of suffering.

1. Make goals stupidly clear.

Not vague motivation.

Actual written goals.

I started dividing mine into:

• short term
• mid term
• long term

Because the brain forgets everything.

You'll wake up motivated one day and completely lost the next day. That's normal. Your brain will always try to escape discomfort through easy dopamine like scrolling reels, YouTube, random distractions.

Written goals act like anchors.

You don't have to rediscover your direction every morning.

1. Turn thoughts into daily tasks.

Every morning I make a small task list based on:

• my goals
• journal thoughts
• current problems

And honestly, most tasks are very small.

But checking them off at night feels ridiculously satisfying.

At first it feels forced. Eventually it becomes automatic.

You stop relying on motivation because now your day already has structure.

And slowly you notice something important:

You are actually moving forward in real life instead of just imagining yourself moving forward in your head.

My therapist once told me:
"No effort goes wasted."

Even if results don't show immediately, consistency compounds quietly in the background.

I followed this system properly for around a month and for the first time in a long time, I felt practical progress instead of fake productivity.

Because overthinking creates the illusion of progress.

Action creates actual progress.

Even 10% effort daily changes your life more than endless thinking ever will.

This might be a dumb question, but is it rude to share with my pregnant friend that I’m also pregnant?

I’m about a month behind her and just found out a few days ago. She was told a few years ago that she may never be able to have kids, and this is her first pregnancy. I’m so happy for her and would never want to take away from her excitement, especially since this is my third baby — 3 under 3.

I thought it might be fun to go through our pregnancies together, but I’m also worried about making her feel like I’m taking away from her moment. She already announced publicly, and I don’t plan on announcing until birth. I’d only tell her privately.

Am I overthinking it?

I dont know if this level of self pity is allowed, but...i have no one else to talk to. So...to start off, im...garbage. i cheated on my ex for...about a year. I know i was wrong. I take full blame and any hate coming my way for it. I deserve it. Yknow? I fucked up. My ex tried to work with me...we stayed together for a few months after...i did a lot of work to fix the broken parts of me that tried to justify what i did. I thought i did a good job. Didnt cheat again...had made some big plans to go visit him for our 4 year anniversary...and when it came time, i...i showed up at his door. I had let him know i was there...and he opened the door, and broke up with me. It hurt. But i felt it was justified. I had earned that pain. And...i just shut down for a few months. Focused on myself, fixing what i thought was broken...and we stayed in contact, it...it wasnt a malicious break up. We still liked each other and wanted to stay friends...but i got a new job recently and havent been able to talk a whole lot...i...i learned that he had moved on today...and...i dont know why that hurts more than the break up...i dont deserve him. I should feel happy for him that...that hes got someone new thats...obviously better than i ever couldve been. I feel so...fucking stupid for thinking i had another chance...of course i dont. Im a terrible partner, and...i dont deserve love like his. I know im not gonna do angthing stupid i just...i dont feel like i have a right to feel hurt by this. I ruined everything. Why should i be hurt by someone i have no right to be in a relationship with...im just...stupid. stupid for crying over someone who shouldnt even have a second thought about me and my stupid feelings...the one good relationship ive ever fucking had and i had to ruin it...im such a fucking moron.

I moved into a one-bed flat in a Victorian building back in December. The flats are housing association and tenants are supposed to have carpets fitted unless they’re on the ground floor, but the upstairs flat seems to only have bare floorboards, so I hear everything! When I moved in I made sure to put carpet down. At first there seemed to be 3 adults and a baby living there. I met one guy who was always coming and going and he told me the flat was actually in his sister’s name. He used to leave for work during the day, but while WFH I’d constantly hear the other couple and baby upstairs. I live alone so I installed a Ring cam for safety reasons and noticed people regularly coming and going from the flat. Then the guy who worked moved out, and now it’s just the couple and toddler upstairs.
What’s worrying me is that they literally never seem to leave the flat. I mean never. I’ve never seen them take the toddler outside, even on nice days.This has been like this ever since I moved in. Someone drops things off for them every couple of days, but otherwise they stay inside constantly and don’t answer the door either. I’m trying really hard not to be nosy or sound like a Karen because I generally keep to myself, but between the constant noise, the overcrowding in a one-bed, and concern for the toddler, I genuinely don’t know if I should just mind my business or raise it with the housing association. What would you do?

i've recently come to the realization that i am ultimately responsible for myself and my overall well being. i'm 27F and after getting my nervous system wrecked by a situationship, this led me to reflect deeply on my issues and patterns.

you see, i grew up just figuring things out on my own, got verbally abused by my siblings, and that led to low self esteem and idk just hatred for myself. and now after reflecting on my issues and shit, i realized i dont know what to do with myself.

HOW DO I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF????? i noticed that i am reckless with money and i dont take anything seriously. that's why the realization that i am ultimately the only person responsible for myself is so harrowing to me.

please if you have tips. or general advice i would gladlt want to hear them. i am riddled with anxiety. 😭 Thank you!!

This past week reminded me of something important.

Sometimes life will place multiple situations in front of you at the same time, not to break you, but to show you what you’ve already been feeling beneath the surface.

Family. Relationships. Responsibilities. Boundaries. Energy.

All of it.

And what I’ve been realizing is that not every situation is truly about the thing being presented on the surface.

Sometimes people are carrying things internally that spill over into the way they approach others. Sometimes confusion, loneliness, pressure, or unresolved emotions can shape the way someone moves, even when they may not fully realize it themselves.

That’s why presence matters.

Because when you slow down long enough, you begin to see the difference between what feels aligned and what feels forced. You stop reacting immediately and start paying attention to what something is actually bringing into your space.

This week brought me back to that.

Back to center. Back to observation. Back to trusting what I felt from the beginning instead of talking myself out of it.

And honestly, I think that’s part of the journey too.

Not becoming hardened. Not becoming reactive. Just becoming more aware.

Because clarity doesn't always come through loudly. Sometimes it arrives through repetition. Through patterns. Through the same lesson returning until you finally sit with it fully.

And once you do, something settles inside of you.

Not because life suddenly became perfect, but because you can finally see clearly enough to move with intention instead of confusion.

And I think that’s why spaces for reflection matter so much.

Clarity isn’t about being told what to do. Sometimes it’s simply having the space to sit with what’s already trying to show itself.

I feel like I don't live in the reality im in. I never take care of what I have in the present because I feel like the future is going to get worse, like I cannot acknowledge that my thoughts are not my reality.
I can't quite differentiate them. I have horrible thoughts, that gets me scared, terrified, anxious, about life. For example, if I get a dog, I will think about the fact that he'll die, and for that exact reason I won't be able to spend time with him because it really makes me anxious.
I think it's an avoidant thing. But the more time passes by, the more I feel like if ever one of my loved ones have a terrible disease or anything, I won't be able to support them even though I am willing to, due to this feeling, and it makes me even more anxious.

I have exams and this is ruining my mental health

I need to get this off my chest because I feel like I’m going a bit crazy in my own head.

I’m in a situation where nothing bad is actually happening… but my mind keeps creating scenarios that feel 100% real. For example, my boyfriend goes out somewhere (like a fair, party, whatever), and my brain immediately goes to: “What if he cheats on me?” “What if he meets someone better?” “What if I lose him?”

And the worst part is — I KNOW there’s no actual proof. He didn’t do anything wrong. But my body reacts like it’s already happening. Anxiety, tight chest, overthinking everything.

Then I start analyzing:

• his behavior
• our messages
• what he said vs didn’t say

And I get stuck in this loop where I either want to:

• text him for reassurance
• check something
• or somehow “test” him

But I also realize that this kind of behavior can actually damage the relationship, even if my intention is just to feel safe.

It’s like:

I don’t want to be controlling… but I’m scared of being hurt.

I don’t want to overthink… but my brain won’t stop.

I don’t want to push him away… but my anxiety makes me act in ways that could do exactly that.

Has anyone else experienced this?

How do you deal with thoughts that feel real but probably aren’t?

I’m trying to understand if this is anxiety, attachment issues, or just me overreacting… but right now it feels really overwhelming.

Any advice or shared experiences would mean a lot.

Lately, I’ve just felt this inner battle within myself trying to figure who the fuck I am and everyone just asking me what’s next time. Sometimes it’s so frustrating cuz I don’t fucking know I’m learning about myself everyday. Who fucking cares if I’m 26 man, eventually I will but it’s like leave me the fuck alone and let me do this on my own. I don’t need family, society telling me what I need to do at a certain age. That’s up to me, I know I’ve got my fair share of shit and stuff to deal with. I swear whatever life lessons or crap I needa face rn I will. But mark my words or whoever reads this IM NOT COMING BACK HERE.

Can anyone suggest how to relax mind, I don't know why I think over and over, what I think I don't know just thinking.

Please share your suggestions

How I can stop overthinking