I’m 16 and could really use some advice because my anxiety has been getting the best of me.
A few days ago, I had an intimate video call with someone I met online. Neither of us showed our faces. After the call, they either blocked me, deleted their account, or changed their username because I couldn’t find them anymore.
Since then, I’ve been stuck thinking about the possibility that they secretly recorded the call and could somehow share it. I have no evidence that happened. No one has contacted or threatened me, and nothing has been posted as far as I know.
What makes it harder is that I gave them my nickname, and my username contains the rest of my unique name. We also live in the same small country, so my mind keeps telling me they could figure out who I am, even though I don’t actually know if that’s true.
I know part of this is probably anxiety because I keep replaying every detail and imagining worst-case scenarios. It’s gotten to the point where I think about it every day, even though I don’t have any proof that anything bad happened.
Has anyone else had anxiety latch onto a situation like this? How did you stop ruminating and get your mind to let it go? I’m looking for advice on managing these thoughts rather than reassurance.

Btw we both are the same age

The random headache you get is because of stress? Overthinking? I think I have anxiety and overthinking. I have job stress, I work in UAE Dubai, client pressure, career pressure, job stress, licence pressure. I think a lot and I create my own problems by thinking and get headaches. Any cute to this?

I recently talked to someone who was talking about approaching strangers on the beach. they said if I found someone attractive, I could just talk to them.

I said I wouldn't want someone to approach me, someone who I know nothing about because I find them physically attractive. I would want a reason more than just attraction.

After I said something in my way of thinking, they told me I take it too seriously and I really do. I connected the subject to being in a relationship just for lust which was a valid reason for some kind of mockery. 

this annoyed me a lot. I know people can approach relationships and social interactions differently and of course nobody has to think the same way I do but when someones reasoning feels really surface-level to me, I can't just say “okay, that's how they are” and move on. I start analyzing why they think that way and I get irritated by it.

Help please!!

Im scared. I have a TT acc and it keeps being spam reported for some reason and getting banned (its been the 2d time in one week) , this guy says hes going to come to my house and im freaking out. I own TT in secret since Im not allowed. But im scared ive been doxxed, I haven’t done anything terrible on there except argue with homophobes.

I try not to let it get to my head but Im shaking and I don’t know what to do...

I've been a chronic over-thinker my entire life, but recently it's become quite debilitating and effecting my everyday life and I can't find anything that helps me.

Usually to drown it out I keep my brain stimulated 24/7 with music, tv, podcasts, or other activities that require thinking and attention.

It's at it's worst when I am at work. My job doesn't allow us to listen to music and my job is quite straight forward so I'm working on autopilot the entire time, leaving my brain to run wild.

I was wondering if there was anything I could do while working to keep my brain occupied. I've tried mentally planning my week, outfits for future events, etc, but that doesn't take up much time. Breathing and mindfulness techniques don't work, telling myself to stop and it's not real doesn't work, so I'm all out of ideas if anyone has some advice please?

Edit: I can't afford therapy at the moment to get to the root of the problem, but I am seeing my gp soon to see if there's any medication to help. But I still think some techniques would help too

I’m 25, in New York. For a long time the gap between what I wanted to say and what I actually said was the biggest thing shaping my life, and I never told anyone, because saying “I’m lonely” out loud felt worse than being lonely.
I’m trying to understand that gap properly — not the advice-thread version, the real version. And I’ve realized I only know my own.
So here’s the whole question:
What’s a moment you still think about where you wanted to say or do something with someone — and didn’t?
Recent or ten years ago. Tiny or huge. The party you left early, the coworker you never spoke to, the friend you didn’t text back, the person on the train. I want the specific one. The one that replays.
And if you’re up for it: what did you tell yourself right after? That part I’m most curious about, because I think the story we tell ourselves in the next ten seconds is the whole thing.
One line is completely fine. Throwaways are fine. Don’t clean it up — I’d rather have the messy version than the articulate one.
Straight with you: I’m building something in this space. There’s no link, nothing to sign up for, and I’m not going to slide into your DMs with a pitch. I’m at the stage where I’d rather understand the moment than build another feature nobody asked for.
If you’d rather talk than type, I’ll take ten minutes on a call or a voice note whenever you want. Just say so.
I’ll reply to every single comment.

I’ve sat with that Dostoevsky line longer than I care to admit...the one that says "people have beautiful things to say about you, but you must die first."

At this age, living alone, you start noticing how the kind words rarely show up while you’re still around to hear them. People keep their softer thoughts tucked away until the person is gone, and by then the silence has already done its work. I’ve watched it happen with others and felt the smaller version of it in my own life...the quiet rooms, the empty spaces where family or steady company used to be. It’s not anger. It’s just a clear-eyed recognition that most praise arrives too late to matter.

So you learn to keep your own counsel, tend to the days you still have, and accept that the beautiful things, if they ever come, will come when you’re no longer in the room to need them.

Hi i am in my teens...i Just can't stop my overthinking and it's not like the usual overthinking i just create so many scenarios and there solutions and with every scenario i create diff diff solutions i always get way too scared paranoid i start believing something will happen I always have this uneasiness and I always have palpitations my usual heartbeats are above 100 mostly sometimes 90ish but mostly more than 100 I am anxious most of the time...and i think on every little thing every little movement i observe way too much it almost feels like a mental condition and i can't go to a psychiatrist or therapy rn....

if anyone is/was in the same condition and they came out of it please share some advices bcuz it's way too much

Ps:it's almost like i want to just stop everything and disappear somewhere with no contacts with anyone i want to get better (and i also have social anxiety just an add on)

(Yeah, I know, it's fast, I'm just trying to vent)

Hi everyone! I have a tendency to overthink things. I know everyone does but I feel like I have a tendency to overthink things that don’t matter and that the way I over think is a little un normal. It’s starting to affect my day to day life. I wake up and think about old things. Constantly live in the past instead of the present. Worried about how people perceive me. Especially when it comes to instagram. People not reposting me or interacting with what I post. None of this matters! I don’t have the money to talk with a counselor or therapist, but please if anyone has any suggestions to stop this it would really be appreciated because I don’t and can’t keep living like this

Say what ever you like is there anything u want to take advantage of this post and get off your chest???
Btw no judgement!

Mi sembra che ci sia un doppio standard. Quando una donna parla apertamente di masturbazione spesso viene vista in modo positivo o poetico, mentre un uomo rischia più facilmente di essere considerato un maniaco o uno sfigato. Secondo voi perché esiste questa differenza?

I’m 25 and I’ve been realizing lately that I have a really bad habit of caring way too much about what other people think of me. I’ve been in therapy and I’m starting to understand some of it, but I still don’t really know how to stop it.

I’ll have a conversation with someone and then afterward I’ll replay the whole thing in my head. I’ll think about whether I sounded weird, if I said something stupid, if they thought I was awkward, if I made a bad impression, etc. Sometimes when I’m actually talking to someone my mind just goes completely blank because I’m thinking so much about how I’m coming across.

There’s also one person in particular that I’ve become really fixated on. I think about him way more than I feel like I should. I notice every little thing he does, like when he looks at me, when he walks by me, his demeanor around me, whether he says hi, stuff like that.

It’s not like I think something is actually going to happen between us. I don’t even really see it as a possibility. But my brain keeps picking up on little things and wondering what they mean. Sometimes I feel like there’s some kind of tension or something between us, but then I immediately wonder if I’m just completely reading into it.
And then I feel guilty for even thinking about him so much, which just makes me think about him even more.

It’s basically like:
I notice something, I think about what it means I obsess over it, I feel guilty for obsessing I try to stop thinking about it, now I’m thinking about it even more
My therapist recently pointed out that a lot of this seems to come from how critical I am of myself. I have a lot of thoughts like “I’m awkward,” “I’m weird,” “I’m bad at talking to people,” etc.
She told me to start catching myself when I make those “I am” statements and try to replace them with something more positive or at least more neutral. She also pointed out that I actually have proof that I can talk to people because I’ve had plenty of normal conversations with people before.

Another thing that’s been bothering me is how aware I’ve become of being perceived.
I had this weird realization recently and I don’t mean to sound like a narcissist 😂but it feels weird that everyone I interact with can perceive me anywhere they want. They go home, have their own families and friends, their own problems, their own memories, and I cant get over what they think.
For some reason that thought makes me really uncomfortable like almost nauseous. It’s like I’m suddenly aware that I exist in other people’s minds and I have absolutely no control over what they think about me.

I’ve also been struggling with people pleasing and FOMO. I have a friend who likes to call me and hang out, but sometimes I really don’t feel like talking on the phone or going out. Then I start feeling guilty and thinking, “What if she stops trying?” or “What if I ruin the friendship?”
Sometimes I’ll actually be on the phone or hanging out with someone and I’ll already be thinking about how I’m going to get off the phone or leave.

I genuinely can’t tell sometimes if I don’t want to do something because I actually don’t want to, or because my anxiety is making me avoid it.
I also feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of things in life. I’m 25 and sometimes I look at other people my age and feel like I should be so much further along socially. I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities to make friends, have experiences, and figure out who I am.

Sometimes I feel really hollow because of that, and I think I end up latching onto people because I want them to fill that feeling.

I’m working on all of this in therapy, so I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m crazy or that every interaction I’ve had with this person definitely means something. I actually want honest opinions and advice.

Has anyone else dealt with being this obsessed with what other people think of them?
How do you stop replaying conversations and analyzing every little interaction?

How do you tell the difference between anxiety/obsessive thinking and what you actually feel?
And how do you learn to be okay with the fact that other people are going to have their own opinions of you that you can’t control?

I know this is long lol, but I’m really trying to understand why I do this instead of just continuing to get stuck in the same cycles.

I’m turning 20 soon and I’ve been reflecting on my life
.
I was honestly very selfish and took my family for granted. I’ve been trying to move forward and forgive myself for the way I acted, but the guilt still eats me alive. My family still reaches out to me and shows me love, which somehow makes me feel even more guilty because I still can’t believe the way I used to treat them. I was just cold and never appreciated anything they did for me.

I know I can’t change the past, but I’m struggling to stop dwelling on it. I feel ashamed of the person I was back then, and sometimes the guilt feels overwhelming. I wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced something similar and, if so, how did you learn to move on? What did you do to make peace with your past and become a better person?

I’m so exhausted. Please read.

I don’t know why, but my OCD brain has fully convinced me that the thing I’m terrified of has already happened, even though logically, I know it didn’t.

I’ve had the horrible fear of “what if I downloaded/looked up something terrible? And then I go to jail forever?” (Yall know what I mean I just don’t wanna type it.)

And I’m like “no of course not, never, I’d never do that” and it’s gone from me being scared like “what if I did it and didn’t know I did it?” And “what if I do it for some reason?” To feeling like, and my brain thinking, that somehow it’s already happened. That I’ve done the bad thing. But I haven’t.

So why can’t I shake this? Why can’t I let it go? I’ve never downloaded/looked up something illegal. Something so horrible like cheese pizza. So why is my brain convinced I have when I haven’t? Why does it feel like my life is over and I’ve ruined everything?

I just don’t know how to let go. Just wanted to put this out there and see what others think.

Thank you. 💛

F27
I don’t even feel like talking or texting anyone not even parents or siblings I got 2-3frnds I don’t feel urge to talk to anyone whenever someone talks I get irritated so I stay away from everyone in my own rented flat
I don’t feel to express all these things to anyone either but it was getting out of my hand so decided to only write here I dont want to go to therapist and talk there
I only overthink every stupid little thing
I want to stop this shitty overthinking and want to live normal without getting isolated
I don’t get urge to go out either
I an trying to focus and watch series but nothing seems interesting to me idk
I just bedrot and overthink neither eat or cook anything sometimes
I just want to give up
I want to get rid of overthinking first

I’m so sorry this is so long, just please, it’s all important.

Guess I’m at my wit’s end, might trust strangers’ thoughts more than mine at this point.

Early May, I [20M] matched with a guy, who I’ll call Rick [23M] on Hinge (crucify me later), we clicked very quickly, we bonded over a lot; D&D, religion, philosophy. Rick has become a driving force in a lot of my newest big interests, I’ll always like that about our relationship.

I was the first to propose we go on a date, it lasted for literally 8 hours, us just outside getting to know each other, right after our date ended, Rick suggested we go on another date the next day, which I happily accepted. We’d gone on three more dates after that, every Sunday. Each date lasting the same 7-8 hours; playing Rummy, talking for hours, ending with a hug each time. On our third date we actually opened up about what we’d want, where I told him I was “pretty sure I liked him a lot”, and that I’d like to continue going out, he shared the sentiment.

Some time before our fifth date, Rick told me about his parents, they’re super Catholic, and do not like that he’s gay. His father even trying to soft-launch conversion therapy for him, Rick obviously declined that, but we had a long long text conversation about things, that was the most emotionally honest someone has ever been with me.

At the end of June, after our fifth date, I had been weirdly riddled with anxiety, and I just wanted to ask him where we were with dating, what he wants going forward. He said this:

“I really like that we’re becoming friends, that we seem able to have a bit of a baseline of common interests

Dnd things and creative projects and things we’re each working on etc

I really like hanging out with you, as evidenced by the fact that we keep doing crazy 7/8 hour dates just finding things to do and talk about

I don’t think I feel quite the same way and I’m sorry I don’t quite know how to reciprocate”

Which, hurt, it really did, I don’t think I’ve liked anyone as much as I like him. After that text, I told him I obviously still wanted to be friends, but I was in a really bad place for a week, however I did decide that I needed to see him again, that we needed to see each other again.

Before we went out, he got really sappy about things, texted me for a while after midnight about his relationship with religion, we ended the convo saying goodnight and hearted each others messages, he hearted mine with a blue heart (for context, the entire time we’ve talked I used a green heart, he only used a red one until then)

On top of that, he told me he was journaling about self-discovery via D&D classes, said he decided on being a wizard saying,

“I’ll prob stick closer wizard just bc the non-combat stuff sticks closer, like you know these wizards are hoarding stuff in their towers

Big introvert wizards with their animal familiars

You’re in there somewhere methinks as well”

Cut to the day, we hung out… as friends, and we still had an amazing time, we got coffee like usual, went thrifting, and sat around outside talking to each other like things hadn’t changed. He looked amazing that day, honestly I haven’t gotten over it.

We sat under the swings at an empty playground, I told him what I wanted my future to look like, my insecurities, like he was to me, I showed him a lot of my vulnerabilities that night. Rick actually lifted me up, he told me I was dumb to compare myself to others. I really appreciated that. I could go on and on about that moment, but let’s cut to the end.

He previously told me he smoked cigarettes, so as we were ending the date and walking back to our cars, I told him that I was waiting for the day he just pulled out a pack so I could ask him for one, as I hadn’t smoked before. Rick laughed, but in response he sort of muttered “Sharing a cigarette… that’s kind of intimate.” I asked him what he had said and he doubled down, “Oh wow! Guess I can’t even get my words out. Yeah, I said sharing a cigarette is a bit intimate.” And that was that.

We got back to our cars, and almost split for the night before he STOPPED me from going to my car and asked if I wanted to share a cigarette (HELLOO????) so obviously I said yes. Best moment of my life so far. I tried to leave again, I was in over my head and I honestly didn’t want to think this was more than it was. Rick then asked if he could walk me to my car, which in all fairness wasn’t far at all, he had NEVER asked to do that before, but obviously I said yes. We talked for a bit longer, the we finally left after a big long hug.

Nobody I’ve told this to has told me that this wasn’t almost explicitly romantic. Literally no one, and I can’t blame them.

We hung out two weeks afterward, and I’d given him a hermit crab themed gift since he was super into them at the time, he said it was beautiful. Rick, unfortunately had to cut our time short as he got a very important call for an animation job he’s working on.

This is where things became weird again, not that I think it has anything to do with the call. He’s been a bit spotty with texting, for the last 3ish weeks since, he’s been busy each Sunday since so we haven’t hung out (First was an Ohio trip with friends, second was a baptism and picnic for his baby niece, this third week was a bachelor party in Ohio again)

He’s been easy to interact on Instagram and stuff, liking my posts and all that.

But now I feel like I’m confused, sort of crazy. Is he really pulling back? Why now? The time to do that would’ve passed. Is there any real reason to think he’s pulling back? Has anyone else dealt with this before?

TL;DR: Matched with a guy on Hinge and we quickly became incredibly close, going on regular 7–8 hour dates and having some really vulnerable conversations. After our fifth date he told me he didn’t think he felt the same way romantically and didn’t know how to reciprocate. I accepted that, but afterward he somehow got more emotionally intimate with me, including telling me I’m in his metaphorical “wizard tower,” deliberately sharing a cigarette with me immediately after calling that intimate, stopping me from leaving twice, and continuing to spend hours with me. Now, a few weeks later, he’s been much spottier over text and busy every weekend, though he still interacts with me online. I can’t tell whether he’s genuinely pulling away, whether I’m overthinking a busy few weeks, or whether his feelings/our relationship are more complicated than his original rejection made them sound.

I'm 17 and I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend, whom I really love. I’m a very anxious person, and I’m currently obsessing over something that happened when I was drunk.

I was at a female friend’s house. Her boyfriend and her brother were there too. We were all joking around with her brother, asking him things like whether he had a girlfriend, whether he had a crush, etc.

I’m not French, and I sometimes mix up words in French, especially when I’m drunk. At one point, there was a phrase involving “pain” (bread but also crush). The normal phrase we were joking with was “T’as un pain ?” (“Do you have a crush?”).

But in French, “t’as” and “t’es” sound very similar but have completely different meanings:

- “t’as” = “tu as” = “you have”

- “t’es” = “tu es” = “you are”

So now I’m scared that instead of saying “T’as un pain ?”, I accidentally said “T’es un pain ?”.

I honestly don’t know. I have a strong feeling that I remember saying “t’es un pain”, but we were all talking at the same time and I was very drunk, so I know my memory isn't necessarily reliable.

I asked my friend about it afterwards. She was completely sober and was there the entire time. She told me: “No, you didn’t say that. If you had, I would have said something to you.”

Despite that, I still have this horrible feeling that I really did say it. I feel extremely guilty and I keep thinking that I should confess it to my boyfriend because otherwise I’m hiding something from him.

But I had absolutely no intention of flirting with her brother. We were just joking around, and I love my boyfriend. I’m terrified of being unfaithful to him, and I’m scared that even an accidental sentence like this could somehow count as cheating.

Would you tell your partner about something like this, even though you aren't sure it actually happened? Or would you trust the sober friend who was there and try to move on?

Has anyone else experienced this kind of guilt or uncertainty about something they may or may not have said while drunk?