I'm I overthinking?

My boyfriend and I broke up for a while, and during that time I became very close to a male friend. He was genuinely like a brother to me. There was never anything romantic, no flirting, no sexual relationship, nothing.

At some point, he told me he loved me “like a sister,” and I think I replied something along the lines of “I love you too,” but in my mind it was completely platonic, like loving a sibling. We even had a conversation later where I told him that he had always been like a brother to me, and he said I was like his little sister.

My boyfriend and I eventually got back together. I kept this friend in my life, but when my friend tried saying something similar again after we got back together, I told him not to say things like that because I was in a relationship. I wanted to make that boundary clear.

The problem is that now I have a lot of anxiety and guilt about the past. I keep remembering random things and wondering whether I was somehow unfaithful, even though my boyfriend and I were officially separated at the time and everything with this friend was platonic.

I also vaguely remember telling my boyfriend about this at some point, but I'm not 100% sure. My friend doesn't even remember me saying the “I love you too” part.

My boyfriend already knows about the things that happened during our breakup, and he has told me that since we weren't together, what happened then isn't really the issue. But I'm scared that if he found out about this specific thing, he'd take it badly or think I cheated.

I'm struggling to know whether I should tell him again, or whether I'm just feeding my anxiety by feeling like I have to confess every random memory that comes back.

Am I overthinking this? Would you consider this inappropriate or unfaithful?

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u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 3 days ago

Am I overthinking this or was this inappropriate?

​

My boyfriend and I broke up for a while, and during that time I became very close to a male friend. He was genuinely like a brother to me. There was never anything romantic, no flirting, no sexual relationship, nothing.

At some point, he told me he loved me “like a sister,” and I think I replied something along the lines of “I love you too,” but in my mind it was completely platonic, like loving a sibling. We even had a conversation later where I told him that he had always been like a brother to me, and he said I was like his little sister.

My boyfriend and I eventually got back together. I kept this friend in my life, but when my friend tried saying something similar again after we got back together, I told him not to say things like that because I was in a relationship. I wanted to make that boundary clear.

The problem is that now I have a lot of anxiety and guilt about the past. I keep remembering random things and wondering whether I was somehow unfaithful, even though my boyfriend and I were officially separated at the time and everything with this friend was platonic.

I also vaguely remember telling my boyfriend about this at some point, but I'm not 100% sure. My friend doesn't even remember me saying the “I love you too” part.

My boyfriend already knows about the things that happened during our breakup, and he has told me that since we weren't together, what happened then isn't really the issue. But I'm scared that if he found out about this specific thing, he'd take it badly or think I cheated.

I'm struggling to know whether I should tell him again, or whether I'm just feeding my anxiety by feeling like I have to confess every random memory that comes back.

Am I overthinking this? Would you consider this inappropriate or unfaithful?

reddit.com
u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 3 days ago

Relationship anxiety

Hello.

So my bf left me for almost two months

And during those two months I was constantly looking for attention, I've been really flirty with people around me and so on.

Now we are together again and since this moment I'm leaving in the anxiety all the time. I feel ashamed, guilty and stuff... I'm looking for infidelity in all of my actions after we got back together (I always put clear boundaries with people since we are together, I never cheated on him).

This anxiety is killing me. I just wanted to know if someone had a similar situation to mine..

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u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 4 days ago
▲ 3 r/BPD

Need some advice

Hello.

So my bf left me for almost two months

And during those two months I was constantly looking for attention, I've been really flirty with people around me and so on.

Now we are together again and since this moment I'm leaving in the anxiety all the time. I feel ashamed, guilty and stuff... I'm looking for infidelity in all of my actions (I always put clear boundaries with people since we are together, I never cheated on him).

This anxiety is killing me. I just wanted to know if someone had a similar situation to mine..

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u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 4 days ago

Jealousy when my bf goes out without me

Whenever my boyfriend goes out with his friends or goes to parties and I’m not there I get angry, sad and start feeling unwanted and unnecessary.

At the same time, I don’t want to forbid him from spending time with his friends. I understand that it’s completely normal and that he has every right to do so. I genuinely want him to have his own social life.

But it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t even really want to tell me about his plans anymore because he knows I’ll get jealous and react badly

I don’t want to be controlling or make him feel like he has to choose between me and his friends. I just don’t know how to manage these feelings

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What helped you deal with jealousy and the feeling of being left out or unwanted when your partner goes out without you?

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u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 7 days ago

T I’m terrified I accidentally said something weird while drunk — should I tell my boyfriend? I’m 17 and I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend, whom I really love. I’m a very anxious person, and I’m currently obsessing over something that happened when I was drunk. I was at a female friend

I'm 17 and I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend, whom I really love. I’m a very anxious person, and I’m currently obsessing over something that happened when I was drunk.

I was at a female friend’s house. Her boyfriend and her brother were there too. We were all joking around with her brother, asking him things like whether he had a girlfriend, whether he had a crush, etc.

I’m not French, and I sometimes mix up words in French, especially when I’m drunk. At one point, there was a phrase involving “pain” (bread but also crush). The normal phrase we were joking with was “T’as un pain ?” (“Do you have a crush?”).

But in French, “t’as” and “t’es” sound very similar but have completely different meanings:

- “t’as” = “tu as” = “you have”

- “t’es” = “tu es” = “you are”

So now I’m scared that instead of saying “T’as un pain ?”, I accidentally said “T’es un pain ?”.

I honestly don’t know. I have a strong feeling that I remember saying “t’es un pain”, but we were all talking at the same time and I was very drunk, so I know my memory isn't necessarily reliable.

I asked my friend about it afterwards. She was completely sober and was there the entire time. She told me: “No, you didn’t say that. If you had, I would have said something to you.”

Despite that, I still have this horrible feeling that I really did say it. I feel extremely guilty and I keep thinking that I should confess it to my boyfriend because otherwise I’m hiding something from him.

But I had absolutely no intention of flirting with her brother. We were just joking around, and I love my boyfriend. I’m terrified of being unfaithful to him, and I’m scared that even an accidental sentence like this could somehow count as cheating.

Would you tell your partner about something like this, even though you aren't sure it actually happened? Or would you trust the sober friend who was there and try to move on?

Has anyone else experienced this kind of guilt or uncertainty about something they may or may not have said while drunk?

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u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 8 days ago
▲ 0 r/ROCD

I’m terrified I accidentally said something weird while drunk — should I tell my boyfriend?

I'm 17 and I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend, whom I really love. I’m a very anxious person, and I’m currently obsessing over something that happened when I was drunk.

I was at a female friend’s house. Her boyfriend and her brother were there too. We were all joking around with her brother, asking him things like whether he had a girlfriend, whether he had a crush, etc.

I’m not French, and I sometimes mix up words in French, especially when I’m drunk. At one point, there was a phrase involving “pain” (bread but also crush). The normal phrase we were joking with was “T’as un pain ?” (“Do you have a crush?”).

But in French, “t’as” and “t’es” sound very similar but have completely different meanings:

- “t’as” = “tu as” = “you have”

- “t’es” = “tu es” = “you are”

So now I’m scared that instead of saying “T’as un pain ?”, I accidentally said “T’es un pain ?”.

I honestly don’t know. I have a strong feeling that I remember saying “t’es un pain”, but we were all talking at the same time and I was very drunk, so I know my memory isn't necessarily reliable.

I asked my friend about it afterwards. She was completely sober and was there the entire time. She told me: “No, you didn’t say that. If you had, I would have said something to you.”

Despite that, I still have this horrible feeling that I really did say it. I feel extremely guilty and I keep thinking that I should confess it to my boyfriend because otherwise I’m hiding something from him.

But I had absolutely no intention of flirting with her brother. We were just joking around, and I love my boyfriend. I’m terrified of being unfaithful to him, and I’m scared that even an accidental sentence like this could somehow count as cheating.

Would you tell your partner about something like this, even though you aren't sure it actually happened? Or would you trust the sober friend who was there and try to move on?

Has anyone else experienced this kind of guilt or uncertainty about something they may or may not have said while drunk?

reddit.com
u/Good_Umpire_9712 — 8 days ago