r/hopelessromantic

No idea where to start with this (or if I should even say anything other than the questions) but I will clarify there’s about a 7 year age gap between us.
Although we aren’t super close, we have quite a close friendship(?) between us, just for reference.

• Q1: is this normal? I’m already weird enough, I don’t need this added onto my resume 😭

• Q2: how do I tell if it’s a serious crush or not? what even is a serious crush? do serious crushes even exist?

I'm team Sxxxxx

I'm on your side

You don't make It easy

Neither do I

I'll love you till I die

I know you feel you already have

I'm still here

Always

Remove the dnr

Come live with me.

and felt you right here with me

No its not okay

​"Love comes in the most unexpected places and times." Indeed, many successful relationships start unplanned, born from simply being out there without expectations. Yes, some do find love through dating apps and active searching, but more are born from the flow of normal living. Some of use often romanticize meeting our soulmate in a cafe while reading something niche, but in reality, most people meet in the most random settings, frequently passing each other in the same hallway, attending a language program, sharing a hobby, or sharing a funny sweet moment in public or at a work meeting.

This mindset of "I might meet the one here" often distracts us from actually living in the moment. Instead of pursuing hobbies for ourselves, we become hyper focused on possibility, that we become triggered and on high alert all day long in public. We begin to mask some traits, viewing every little interaction as a calculated opportunity. Personally, I can rarely escape this mental trap unless I look like a total mess and ugly as hell, only then i feel safe enough to relax, knowing no sane man would approach me.

Similarly, a morning run meant to silence the mind and heal the soul and body, turns into a daydream about bumping into "the one." A quiet reading session in a cafe becomes a performative act, where one is overly conscious of their posture and choice of book.

You know the TikTok trend regarding "performative" behavior? It proves this has escalated into a an actual phenomenon that it got a NAME!

​This leaves me with a question. and a paradox: if love truly comes when least expected, can it ever find someone who is always expecting it, never enjoying living freely on autopilot? If we are constantly staging ourselves and hyper aware of our surroundings. how can we ever find someone who loves us for our true compatibility, rather than the fake persona we projected? I honestly don't know the solution, and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Situation: There was a suitor for almost 3 years and until now he still harbor a feelings for me even though I keep trying to push him away because I have high standards now when it comes to relationship and I'm scared for another commitment because of my past. I was dumped by my ex boyfriend who fed me some sweet promises but in the end he still chose his ex. I suddenly built a wall between us when he find out I'm single again, but he still pursue me. I first met him when we were young, it was pre school days. He is kind, thoughtful, gentleman, funny, considerate, someone that will always warm your heart through silly jokes , and someone who is good when it comes to advice. Sometimes he is so sensitive over some small problem, like someone who is throwing a tantrums. Even though he acting like that, I always doubt his true intentions. (I think I'm the problem here?😭*)* I feel like he only need someone to chat with for entertainment purpose only, like he is playing my feelings. He always find some excuses everytime he disappeared and he always use sweet words and other cheesy potatoes words to make you fall for him by being straight forward. He maybe coward sometimes but he always tell me he will try to build a courage to face my family.

I saw a quote from soc med saying "when a man wants you he will do anything to win your heart, not by word but through action"

What do you think should I do?

I no longer need you.

I no longer belong with you.

I no longer want a relationship with you.

But I cannot honestly say you mean nothing to me.

You mattered.

You changed me.

You were part of my life.

Some part of that will always remain.

28f
8yr & 5m I had via with a sperm donation.
I’m retired.
I was in a horrific accident. I lost my left hand on impact below the elbow and my right leg below the knee and my right hand pinky.

I am also burned on the entirety of my right arm, hand, shoulder, right backside down my right backside forearm, and I have skin graphs on there and also burns all over my body except my face.

I’m not lonely, but I’m not not lonely. If you understand what I’m saying. And maybe I’ll meet the love of my life on Reddit lol 🫪🫪

I tried dating
I can still do a lot of things how I’m keeping a whole newborn alive plus taking care of my son, but I guess the guys that I’ve been with are very superficial,
I’m more than my body
I am very beautiful if I do say so myself and I need someone to s e e me.

PA’S- I really want more kids. Message me.✨🧿

My love, the first moment i met you, i was starstruck,
even calling myself obsessed would be understatement.
With you i want to run and in our own corner away tuck,
because other people want deliver permanent abatement.

Now want to devote my whole life being only with you,
hope you dont mind, want to almost be on you all time.
But unconstrained crying and endless laughter we can do,
and making our bodies move close, syncrhonize and rhyme.

Our limitless love so intense, all the emotions too,
that it makes my head feel like up inside clouds.
But you're the gravity that brings me back to you,
so grounding and secure, for your love have no doubts.

Promise you can lay all your worry and trust in me,
heart safe in my arms, and nobody gets close to you.
Watch your favourite cartoon, sleep together past three,
and got shoulder to cryon, and ear to hear your vent too.

I know you felt the fire too, long before we allied,
but want all of you, even darkness and chaos to see.
Your eyes tell me everything you're trying to hide,
and your body language is like second nature to me.

Your most loyal servant and proudest king you'll find,
you're saving grace, only one i followed from start.
I am the peace for the war inside your chaotic mind,
and you're comfort zone and safe place for my heart.

Now my darling, we dont have to playfully fight,
to see which one of our love to other is stronger.
I'm only asking you to be my forever love, my life,
we can stay like this, together, little while longer.

Most guys just want one thing and it gets repetitive

Hi, I'll just call myself Ari (18F). I will not make this story any longer, but yes, the title is correct. I am in love with a seminarian, and I don't know if this is a correct thing to feel or is this a sin of some sort.

I met this guy during Simbang Gabi, it's basically 9 nights of nightly masses before Christmas, telling the story of Jesus. I don't know if other countries have this. That's when I met him. On the 5th night of mass, and I saw him on the remaining nights also. He seems mischievous, and I was correct because i have a friend that is a part of the church. She told me that he randomly attacks them with Holy Water, teasingly splashing the other members also. I added him on Facebook after I asked my friend for his account. Then a couple months later, I created a journal account and saw him there on my recommendation then I added him too. To which he followed me back. I remember how flustered and excited I felt when he did so.

Now, here's how we had contact. I was (and still am) in a really scary phase of my life where I get sleep paralysis and hear voices, telling me not to wake up. It was scary. This started a few years back, but it just came back randomly. It came to a point where I couldn't breathe in my sleep and struggle to gasp for air. Asked my family about what this could be, and my family being religious, they're just telling me to pray. It came to a point where I can no longer sleep because of how scared I am, in desperate need to talk to someone. Then, he came to my mind. I know it's a really obvious and dumb move for me to make the first move, but i was sobbing at this point, and I have no money to get myself checked up to the doctor (it's very expensive here in the Philippines).

I messaged him about my sleep paralysis. He responded and gave me a clear advice, even telling me an experience of his own. I will not elaborate the advice, but let's just say that he's wise. And despite being a seminarian, he did not make his advice dependent to God and my faith, he gave me some factors physically also, before a bit of a spiritual perspective. He told me that he will pray for me. And being a girl who's crushing on this boy, that struck me straight to my heart and even my soul. I messaged him a week after about how I'm feeling better, and stuffs like that. He told me that it's lovely and asked me to pray for him too.

Then, just yesterday, I woke up to "4+ messages" from him. I was kicking everywhere! Even biting my own pillow and pinching myself if this is real, because I tend to still continue my dream even if I had already woken up. Well, it's real. Turns out he was looking for me in a picture. He sent me a picture of him with other church members and told me that if I don't mind him asking if I am in the picture with him. Then I asked him if there was anything specific that he wants me to pray for him. He told me I was thoughtful and joked that he was craving biryani, which was funny because I wrote on my IG notes how I crave biryani. But then, he told me that he was on a cross road, basically he's at a point where he has to make a decision for himself and it's a big decision too.

Now, I know this guy. I know how dedicated he is to his duty and vocation, and I feel conflicted whether is it alright to have feelings for him. It feels like I am taking him away from his duty, from what he loves the most. I need an advice, because I know confessing is too fast and dangerous because he's at the point of making decisions for himself. I know how guilty I'd feel if I want him to leave the seminary and live a life, which would give him a chance to like me back. But that's selfish. I'd never pray for that, I'd be happier if he continue his dreams in the seminary. I'd be happier knowing that he's guided by love and faith and happy.

Should I continue my feelings, or should I just tell him how I feel then stay away from him?

PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME 😭

What does falling in love feel like?

Falling for someone is a story

Falling for someone is diffrent than anything you've ever experienced

Its like adding colour to a world of black and white

Its like taking all the pain away from life

Its like floating in air

Its like flying with the angels

Its like having butterflies in your stomach

You feel like you can do anything as long as they are with you

You feel like youd do anything for them

You feel alive when you're with them

And when you're not it feels tough to even breath

Its when physical distance dosent matter

When it's about the soul and not the body

Its about the person

Falling for someone feels like

Cool Rain in the summer

The warm sun in the winter

The cherry blossoms of the fall

Its beautiful

Its extraordinary

Just like you

I dreamt of you yesterday. It was weird because nothing much happened in the dream. All we did was hang out. Talk about non-sense. Laugh about silly things. I don't even think I held your hand. But that was the dream, both literally and figuratively. We'd just have fun and forget about the world.

What was weird about it? I still remember it. I usually forget my dreams after a few hours of waking up. Not this one though. The second dream about you. The first one was weirder because I was still hang up on someone else and I wasn't really thinking about you. Ok, I wasn't thinking about you at all. Yet in the dream, I proposed, and you said yes, and we were happy. (Other stuff, wholesome stuff, happened that made us happy.)

What does that say about me that, subconsciously, I think about you in a wholesome way? What does it say about me thinking about what I think? I'm all the way weird, aren't I?

Yet, how romantic is it that I think about you this way, huh? Like, a lot of guys probably say they think about you in a dirty ways, but I don't, apparently. Apparently, my subconscious thinks it's more intimate when we're happy with just regular stuff.

Also, how could a guy think it's not fate, when I'm not thinking about you and then I suddenly get engaged to you and am happy about it?

I see you twinkle, my dear, my star,
no more without love and alone have to wallow.
It doesnt matter now how far or close we are,
solemnly vow to be yours, forever i'll follow.

Don't have to promise the whole starchart,
because will stare only you even from afar.
But i promise to take care of your heart,
even if you dont leave door to it ajar.

Just because i dont have you in my sight,
doesnt mean that you have now gone away.
I will follow only you in the dark night,
and even trying to find glimpse on bright day.

I dont really care you're not the brightest,
no matter if you're chaotic or morally grey.
My feelings for you wont doubt even slightest,
with my whole heart i still love you everyday.

All this endearing to you comes from my heart,
so can forget any doubts of me ever leaving.
And all emotions were this intense right from start,
even minutes part, thoughts of you already grieving.

Even above whole universe i focus on only you,
it wont matter if we're together close or far.
I trust you, i believe in you, our love true,
will forever love you, my dear, my star.

I fell in love with a woman who had a traumatic childhood and still carries some deep scars from years ago.  I want her to know that I fell in love with who she is today, the beautiful and smart woman who hugs me so tight.  I fell in love knowing I cannot change her past but I want her to know that I will never judge her by the scars she carries. 

I want her to know that when I say “I love you”, that love comes with the promise that she will never again have to fight her childhood demons alone and I will be at her side to protect her not only today but for all of our tomorrows. 

I want her to know that I hope my love can erase all her triggers, ease all her fears, and install the confidence she needs to see the beauty and the self worth that I see in her. 

Most of all, I want her to know how deeply I have fallen in love with her. 

So I (18M) and she is in same class since ukg.just classmates then..from 7th our section changed but we both started playing chess ..so I and she both participated in many tournaments ..and won many too..our friendship grew..till 10 we both on in same school...then I went to kota lost contact... after one year...one day she messaged ..and we again started talking... sharing about how my life going here ..she started sharing memes and shorts..but when exam I got busy in studies and lost contact...I got 98%ile but I decided to take drop ...as i felt i let my teacher down ...so I started studying for my drop year ...now at diwali time she messaged me..but I was not active in WhatsApp i replied her after 2 days ...and so I was in anxiety due to exam coming up i doesn't talked to her ...after exam got over this year I got 99.4 %ile in mains and 9k rank in advance going to iit...i messaged her ...like to play chess ..she replied to that message after 1 month ...we played chess but we don't talked with eachother...i don't know how to confess that i really like her ..she is very sweet person...she got in one relationship as well in her 12th class ..i heard the rumour (I was in kota she was in school) she is in friends with that guy that I know but don't know there relationship status (btw that guy also preparing for jee in his drop year he scored 95%ile and going on some college through comedk)..so how to proceed?