r/Maori

Kia Ora everyone I hope this is okay to put here for anyone that can relate to this.

I am exhausted and envious I pour so much of my heart into uplifting my people and yet I feel such a divide.

I am envious of other iwi and what they do for there people and it is a tough pill to swallow right now when I have dedicated so much of my life my time into being Māori I’m surrounded by te ao Māori yet I feel my iwi will never in my lifetime have what Ngāi Tahu has have what Ngāti kahungunu have.

I give so much to my culture and I feel I don’t get anything back compared to others and maybe that is where I’m messing up as they say comparison is the thief of joy right…

You can whakapapa to an iwi, turn up to your marae, learn te reo, participate, volunteer, support kaupapa, bring your children into it and still look at another iwi and think, Why don’t we have this?Why doesn’t my iwi have these opportunities for our people. And… feel so discouraged.

I’m lucky on one side is that I had a first generation pakeha mum who promoted our culture in our whare learnt te reo taught te reo and her family when they moved here immersed themselves in the culture that I really am grateful for but I feel like my whānau have given soo much to being Māori and don’t see anything in return when you at pouring so much into it and you see others who don’t give a crap receive so much.

Having a Pākehā mum who is first-generation New Zealander but has immersed herself in te reo and Māori culture more deeply than some people who have lived here for generations really illustrates something important whakapapa and cultural participation aren’t the same thing.
Being Māori isn’t something you have to constantly prove through how much you contribute. Your whakapapa doesn’t become more legitimate because you attend more hui, speak more reo, volunteer more hours or do more for your marae.
But at the same time, it’s completely okay to want that reciprocity.
You shouldn’t have to pretend that you’re satisfied simply because you’re grateful to belong.
You are completely allowed to say
I love my iwi. I love my marae. I love being Māori. And I wish there were more opportunities for our people.
Those things are not contradictory.
And perhaps genuinely the saddest part is that people who care deeply can eventually become exhausted because they’re always being asked to give time, knowledge, labour, money, energy, attendance without ever seeing the infrastructure, scholarships, housing opportunities, employment pathways, education programmes or financial benefits that other iwi have been able to build.
You don’t have to stop caring. But you also don’t have to measure your worth by how much you can give.
Sometimes the people who are deeply invested in their iwi are actually the ones who eventually help create the thing they wished had existed for them.
And if you’re thinking, “I don’t want to spend my whole life just contributing and watching everyone else benefit,” that’s a very reasonable feeling.
You deserve to benefit from being part of your iwi too. Not because being Māori is transactional, but because a healthy iwi relationship should have some element of reciprocity he tangata, he tangata, and all the infrastructure around that should ultimately strengthen the people.
And I think you can hold both truths at once:
“I am incredibly proud to be Māori.”
and
“I wish my iwi gave its people more.”
Neither statement diminishes the other
J

(* I am sorry if my paragraph is not well written I am not a write I’m just here expressing a perspective that I believe many can relate too my only intention is to create a positive discussion and share opinions in hopes to understand my feelings a bit better )

Hello,

In my local graveyard in Essex, U.K there are two Māori war grave from the First World War.

I wanted to ask if there is anything that should be traditionally left at the graves/anything that should be done to the graves?

There is good general upkeep but I was curious if there is any kind of flowers, objects, offerings, etc. that should be left.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.