r/PureHeartRomance

Why do we fall in love?

I’ve never seen a healthy loving relationship growing up.

Love is loud, it’s abusive and self serving.

I did all I could to escape my fate.

Even when I tell myself “I’ll never be like my mother”

Like a child who knows no boundaries I fell, I loved, I begged.

Even my avoidant tendencies weren’t strong enough to shut him out, I was taught to deal with everything on my own. It was always yes they love me but they have their problems to deal with I will not burden my parents or every single time expressing myself results in the worse forms of torture.

I still flinch even now at the thought of it.

We can’t rely on anyone.

“Hellooooo, you’re doing that thing again. What is it this time, war flashbacks? Is it ptsd?”

He waved at my face.

He’s so annoying god I want to kiss him.

“You know you shouldn’t always have to rely on yourself for everything, I know it’s hard to find someone you can trust but you have me now and I promise to handle it all with aloooot of care.”

When I close my eyes, I see him in different timelines all mashed into one. He was a kaleidoscope that glistened in all angles and no matter how hard I try to find the cracks, there were none, it was all light and colour.

For the first time I felt safe to fall

I no longer have to look behind my shoulder, as I wait in anticipation for the next shoe to drop. He would go barefoot just to show me there were no shoes.

He laughs at my jokes like I’m the funniest person alive.

He holds me like I’m the last breath of air he’ll ever breathe.

“It’s too bad I love stubborn girls who keep saying they don’t need my help when they’re actually struggling. What are you thinking? You’re gonna act like you have it together so you don’t burden me? Please you have no idea the things I’d do for you.”

I’m always drowning at times I’m afraid I might never come back it feels like I’m always holding my breath just to keep my head above water.

“It’s alright, I’m here.”

He places his hand on mine, each time I feel overwhelmed, he’s always there to pull me out.

I always thought to love me was to settle for the tip of an iceberg, I feel buried under as no one has even the slightest idea or desire to dive in.

Nobody else seems to notice but there he was.

And as scary as it sounds at times it feels like he lives inside me, I ached in pure devotion to be bare and alive. Possessed by another, who ached the way I did, to love the way I do.

For the past summers I’ve been through with him, I’ve loved him every single day ever since then like he was the only person who ever existed on planet earth.

I’ve never believed in fate so why do I keep getting the feeling like I was made to love him?

Others may get to see him bright eyed and sweet but only I get to see his silent sacrifices, the places where he bruises. Nobody else gets to see the face he makes when he’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the room. Nor do they get to see him yearn.

And although they may see his hand touch the back of his neck when he’s embarrassed but only I know he does that because his mom used to pet the back of his neck when he did well.

They don’t know that every day he walks the longer route home so that he passes by the alleyway on the 5th avenue to feed the stray cats there. That he waters his neighbours plants every summer when they’re away, nobody else noticed but one summer they were dying and he decided to do it in secret. I love everything about him the way he notices me when no one else does, he calls me into light and my form is tangible to me. He never fails to kiss my forehead each time he says goodbye, never fails to reassure me or pull me back to earth each time I float to space, never fails to show me what love truly is.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/TjxPLPJfNY

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6dF8DaaGCk