It doesn’t feel real, but not in a good way.
So my situation is a bit specific. My now ex girlfriend split up with me around a month after she got pregnant (October last year). We’re still civil and get on well, but for most of the pregnancy, I would be lucky if I heard from her more than once a week (we still went to all scans together).
Our baby boy came last Monday and yesterday is the only day so far that I haven’t seen him as she said she was overwhelmed and wanted the day to herself, which I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. She won’t stay with me on a night, doesn’t allow me to stay there on a night and I have to wait for the text message in a morning to say that I can come. Then when I’ve tried to come up with a compromise, like having a baby monitor so I can still see him on a night (virtually), I just get shot down and everything has to be her way or no way. I get that her hormones will be all over the place, but at what point do my feelings matter or should I just keep my mouth shut and deal with it?
I was always concerned with how little we spoke and how little I was part of the whole pregnancy (scans aside), that I would struggle to find that connection. It’s like, in my head I know he’s my son and I’m a dad, but in my heart, it just doesn’t feel like it.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking everything, being impatient or if my feelings are valid, but I just needed to get this off my chest.