After 3 years i get help next week. Im scared but i know i can't keep doing this. The pictures are from 1 leg but my legs hips and body are full of scarrs. Im so sick of myself doing this and hope to learn wtf is wrong with me and how to deal with it without cutting.
The most beautiful part of me is the one I can’t show. But it’s enough that I finally love part of myself
maybe it's just me, but i never want to go "deeper" than this, and sure, maybe it makes me feel like i'm faking everything, whatever. i just have a fear of things actually going into my skin, i'm really squeamish, whenever i see things like that in other places i can feel it happening to myself... it's really scary. so i'm okay like this, it's fine. i don't really cut to feel pain anyway, the pain is there, but it's not what i'm searching for. i just like seeing my blood, it makes me calm down when i'm stressed. sure, the stress comes back very soon after, but i can just keep cutting every time it does. the other scars are older, there's no newer ones, that's because i ordered new tools and wanted to wait until it got here so i had a "blank canvas" so to speak. maybe i'm alone in everything, i don't know
Today when i took the train, after ~15 munites of sitting next to somone i noticed that they had sh scars on their arms.
Seeing sh scars in public it made me fell so much less alone. Don't get me wrong i'm extremely gratefull for this forum but actually seeing someone in person is different. I currently i'm rotting in baggy black jeans and hoodies all day every day despite the heat so they didn't saw my scars.
I clearly remember when years ago i was at a lake wearing swimsuit and noticed someone staring at me. She was wearing the uniform of the mentally ill, baggy black jeans & hoodie. She looked up and down on me and noded. I'm pretty sure that she was also a selfharmer. For some reason this incident stuck with me so i decided to share it with you all.
I barely see anyone with scars in public.
End of the ramble... has anyone had a situation before where both of you saw each others scars ?
one swipe but made it longer with another swipe. i have the video of the one swipe but apparently vids arent allowed here
I've never thrown up because of the smell from a cut. Like actually throw up. I feel nauseous. It hurts like crazy too💔
I have had one that smelled extremely bad before but not like this one...
idk i don’t regret relapsing i can go deeper than i ever could before now
just styros this time i cant deal with healing hypodermis for a while. yes i did carve fart into my body forever ive done it before too.
Went in for wound care on my other leg (follow up on the glued one) and they forced me to get my leg stitched 😭
Even if the it’s not as severe as I used to, I’m still slowly ruining my body. I will never be able to wear short sleeves, never go to the pool, never get to hold a baby without wearing sleeves. It all makes me feel shitty, but I can’t stop.
dude I didn't even put pressure on it that's how sharp it was