r/SelfDevDaily

30(F) I finally realized at almost 31 that I need to stop trying so hard to find love out of loneliness and just trust the universe’s/God’s timing. Since age 18 I’ve been on dating apps searching for my person bc I’ve always felt a void of loneliness . Time after time I’ve been attracting horrible men and situations. When I was younger I had so many matches and would go out with anyone who gave me attention. I also slept around. I’ve only had 1 boyfriend and that relationship was a huge lesson I needed to learn. After ending it I got into therapy because my self worth was at its lowest. I’m thankful for my therapist who taught me to love myself again. I started wanting to date with intention but I’ve stumbled upon avoidant men. That was a roller coaster. I feel that the universe has been putting me through it till I finally wake up and realize I need to let go of the desperation to be loved and instead focus on me giving myself all the love and attention I’ve been looking for. I keep deleting and remaking my profiles on the dating apps because I get lonely, it’s been a cycle I’ve been repeating. This time I mean it, I’m about to be 31 and I’m deciding to just focus on me. When the time is right I will meet someone. The last 4 months I’ve been focused on my mental health and physical health. I have hobbies, I go to the gym everyday, I do things alone now, I trust my intuition, I have boundaries, I’m confident, I’m disciplined and just want better for myself because I deserve it. I’ve also been reading a lot and listening to self improvement podcasts and about dating and relationships. I’m ready to attract a healthy love when the time is right. Currently I’m focused on doing things I normally wouldn’t do like going to farmers markets, joining groups on Facebook to make friends in the city I want to move to, I’m manifesting what I want, trusting God and the universe and putting myself first.

Let’s assume two individuals. They have similar levels of work ethic. Their idea is identical and they follow through their ideas similar.

One becomes successful, while the other not.

Why is there such a disparity in outcomes?

When effort, ideas, execution all are similar what is the driving force behind their differing outcomes. What differentiates them in getting to what they wanted to be and others from.