u/Realistic-Service-11

I’ve listened to tarot readers and have gotten 3 tarot readings done by people for love. Actually I lied, a friend has given me an experience that was so special with my soul dog who has passed on. I’ve listened to tarot readers for years but I haven’t come across a reading that felt like it was truly meant for me and everything resonated until today. Thanks to Reddit someone recommended listening to Baba Jolie tarot. I gave it a shot and listened to the first Leo reading. My jaw dropped 3 minutes into it and just kept dropping over and over because every single thing she said is happening to me. I’m in an awakening. I’m so focused on myself and taking a break from dating apps and just putting myself out there more in person. I want deeper connections and that it’s coming if I just put myself out there and get out of my comfort zone which is what I’m doing!!!! I was always on a rigid schedule and now I’m doing things out of my routine to hopefully meet someone. She said I’m so close to meeting him. This reading really opened my eyes.

Within the last year I’ve really been torn between the two. It feels like I’m doing something wrong but also why can’t I like both things? Or can I?

I really value Christian beliefs as well as Mormon beliefs and enjoy their services, I cry when I’ve gone. I can truly feel God in the room and all the love for him. I never felt this way in the church I grew up going to and it saddens me because I have so much respect the Jehovah’s Witnesses, they are the kindest people but I just didn’t feel connected. I love God and know he’s real. But I also give thanks to the universe for having my best interest. I enjoy learning about Manifestation, the law of attraction, quantum physics just as much as I enjoy hearing about Christianity.

30(F) I finally realized at almost 31 that I need to stop trying so hard to find love out of loneliness and just trust the universe’s/God’s timing. Since age 18 I’ve been on dating apps searching for my person bc I’ve always felt a void of loneliness . Time after time I’ve been attracting horrible men and situations. When I was younger I had so many matches and would go out with anyone who gave me attention. I also slept around. I’ve only had 1 boyfriend and that relationship was a huge lesson I needed to learn. After ending it I got into therapy because my self worth was at its lowest. I’m thankful for my therapist who taught me to love myself again. I started wanting to date with intention but I’ve stumbled upon avoidant men. That was a roller coaster. I feel that the universe has been putting me through it till I finally wake up and realize I need to let go of the desperation to be loved and instead focus on me giving myself all the love and attention I’ve been looking for. I keep deleting and remaking my profiles on the dating apps because I get lonely, it’s been a cycle I’ve been repeating. This time I mean it, I’m about to be 31 and I’m deciding to just focus on me. When the time is right I will meet someone. The last 4 months I’ve been focused on my mental health and physical health. I have hobbies, I go to the gym everyday, I do things alone now, I trust my intuition, I have boundaries, I’m confident, I’m disciplined and just want better for myself because I deserve it. I’ve also been reading a lot and listening to self improvement podcasts and about dating and relationships. I’m ready to attract a healthy love when the time is right. Currently I’m focused on doing things I normally wouldn’t do like going to farmers markets, joining groups on Facebook to make friends in the city I want to move to, I’m manifesting what I want, trusting God and the universe and putting myself first.

I’m not looking for advice, there’s nothing I can do now. But just venting I guess?
I 30(f) Matched with a very sweet guy 34(m) on Hinge a few weeks ago. Very genuine guy. We clicked right away and had so much in common. I mentioned getting evaluated for Autism in a month and coincidentally he was going through the evaluation himself and mentioned that they mentioned he may be autistic as well. We have lot of the same quirks, we’re homebodies, we enjoy working out and we’re spiritual. Well we had a date planned and we were texting for a few days but I just got overwhelmed with the texting. I’m not use to texting someone 24/7. I don’t enjoy it either. I don’t know why but I ended things bc I felt overwhelmed in the moment and it bothered me that when my phone automatically went on DND he like got mad about it?. I told him this was going too fast for me and we shouldn’t see eachother for our date. I felt relieved but
I think I overreacted and felt guilty the next few days. I reached out to him and wished him a safe flight and trip (he was going out of town) and I apologized and mentioned of being friends ever felt right that I’d be happy to be his friend. He never responded which is fine but damn I think I missed out on a genuine guy 😕

I broke no contact after 7 months guys. I just had the urge to reach out one last time so I can truly move on in peace. I didn’t beg for him to take me back or make him feel guilty for how things ended. I genuinely wanted to let him know I cared, I tried and wished him all the happiness bc he deserves that. I sent it this evening and immediately blocked him seconds after it sent for my own peace. I don’t wanna know if he left me on read. I don’t wanna know if he opened it. I don’t wanna know if he didn’t respond. I don’t wanna know if he responded or what he responded. I just had to say my peace so I can truly move on. Please be kind 🥹🫶

I don’t normally go for guys my age, but I met someone (30) and didn’t think much of it at first. I honestly thought it would just be a short flirt and we’d stop talking after a few days.
That didn’t happen. I ended up falling for him really hard.
At first, I wasn’t even that attracted to him, but his personality completely changed that. He was smooth, emotionally intense, and we clicked in a way I didn’t expect. He lived about 45 minutes away and would try to make plans to meet, but I’d brush it off at first. Eventually, I agreed.
Around this time, I noticed he’d only ever show half his face on Snapchat. Later, he told me he’s blind in one eye. I didn’t care at all. I still liked him.
We bonded more deeply after that. He told me he’s autistic and thinks he may also have ADHD. I’m autistic too, so we connected on another level.
Then things started becoming inconsistent.
He ghosted me for five days at one point and came back saying he was scared of the feelings he was developing. From there, it became a pattern for about a year , plans made and canceled, ghosting before meetups, and then long apologies weeks or months later.
Every time he disappeared, I tried to move on. But when he came back, I’d fall into it again.
Near the end, I pulled back emotionally. He would ask me if I “loathed” him. I eventually showed up to his job one day (he’d ask frequently for me to go see him) I let him know in advance guys dont worry. It actually went really well. He was nervous but really sweet, and afterward he texted me saying he was glad he met me and that I was beautiful.
After that, his grandfather passed away, so I gave him space. We planned to meet again, but he canceled and asked to see me on my birthday instead. I told him not to worry about it anymore, mentally I was done with the games.
We didn’t talk for months until he sent another long apology message. He often sent messages like that, taking responsibility, saying he wanted to change, and explaining his struggles with autism, anxiety, and social difficulty.
I fell back into it again.
Eventually, I asked him directly what he actually wanted, and he ghosted me again. A couple days later I sent my final message: “I’m done, take care.”
He left it on read.
It’s been 7 months of no contact, but I still think about him constantly. I’ve been focusing on myself, going to the gym, eating better, new hobbies, staying busy but he’s still in my head every day.
I’ve tried dating again, but I either lose interest or pull away when someone shows interest in me.
I know I’m dealing with anxious and some avoidant attachment now after this situation, and I’ve been learning a lot about attachment styles.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe advice, maybe just reassurance that I’m not crazy for still feeling stuck.
Has anyone been through something like this and actually moved on?

I don’t normally go for guys my age, but I met someone (30) and didn’t think much of it at first. I honestly thought it would just be a short flirt and we’d stop talking after a few days.
That didn’t happen. I ended up falling for him really hard.
At first, I wasn’t even that attracted to him, but his personality completely changed that. He was smooth, emotionally intense, and we clicked in a way I didn’t expect. He lived about 45 minutes away and would try to make plans to meet, but I’d brush it off at first. Eventually, I agreed.
Around this time, I noticed he’d only ever show half his face on Snapchat. Later, he told me he’s blind in one eye. I didn’t care at all. I still liked him.
We bonded more deeply after that. He told me he’s autistic and thinks he may also have ADHD. I’m autistic too, so we connected on another level.
Then things started becoming inconsistent.
He ghosted me for five days at one point and came back saying he was scared of the feelings he was developing. From there, it became a pattern for about a year , plans made and canceled, ghosting before meetups, and then long apologies weeks or months later.
Every time he disappeared, I tried to move on. But when he came back, I’d fall into it again.
Near the end, I pulled back emotionally. He would ask me if I “loathed” him. I eventually showed up to his job one day (he’d ask frequently for me to go see him) I let him know in advance guys dont worry. It actually went really well. He was nervous but really sweet, and afterward he texted me saying he was glad he met me and that I was beautiful.
After that, his grandfather passed away, so I gave him space. We planned to meet again, but he canceled and asked to see me on my birthday instead. I told him not to worry about it anymore, mentally I was done with the games.
We didn’t talk for months until he sent another long apology message. He often sent messages like that, taking responsibility, saying he wanted to change, and explaining his struggles with autism, anxiety, and social difficulty.
I fell back into it again.
Eventually, I asked him directly what he actually wanted, and he ghosted me again. A couple days later I sent my final message: “I’m done, take care.”
He left it on read.
It’s been 7 months of no contact, but I still think about him constantly. I’ve been focusing on myself, going to the gym, eating better, new hobbies, staying busy but he’s still in my head every day.
I’ve tried dating again, but I either lose interest or pull away when someone shows interest in me.
I know I’m dealing with anxious and some avoidant attachment now after this situation, and I’ve been learning a lot about attachment styles.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe advice, maybe just reassurance that I’m not crazy for still feeling stuck.
Has anyone been through something like this and actually moved on?