r/SiblingsOfAddicts

For over 7 years my younger brother is battling opioid & fent addiction. He is 24, which is young but at the same time I feel like he hasnt been able to start his life, ur hasn’t tried . It’s hard to know. I don’t think I understand how it is to be addicted to something that completely removes you from your conscious and makes you a vessel for consumption, mindless rage and abuse . He always has a woman at my moms house. They always end up fighting , breaking things , having the cops called on them .
I’m in brackish water between being a pillar of support for my mom and focusing on my own growth finally at the end of my 20s . I feel stunted too.
It breaks my heart to see my brother draining my mom. She acts like she’s okay always, but I see my mom getting spots on her hands , and more wrinkles on her face and I know I don’t have forever with her .
And now I am choosing to be distant , to protect myself. And leaving my mom in the chaotic pit of horror that is my brothers addiction.
I just had to vent.
I already miss my mom, I see her so much less than before.
I’m starting to even hate my brother , and be mad at my mom for letting him use up everything she has. I’m scared to be around for the day he inevitably crashes her car or ruins it and then they need my support. Not be be selfish but I hope I live 10000 miles away when the next things happen. I know that won’t be the case, but I can start inching toward a free life.
I feel like shit saying this but I think I have given up on my brother , at least for now.

Hi, my twin sister has been an on and off again addict ( heroin) two years ago was her absolute worst she has ever been. She was extremely thin and it was unbearable to witness, she lives with our parents who never follow through with any boundaries they try to set up. Currently she is “sober” not sure how accurate that is. She is dating a dirtbag guy who has an arrest history of being violent, almost killing a woman and she still chooses to date him, she jobless again. I told her that if she doesn’t get it together by September our relationship is over, we just turned 36. I think it’s important to note that my sister highly looks up to me. I was wondering if anyone has had any positive experiences with a sibling who’s an addict.

My brother, the middle child of four siblings, has always been a difficult person, but now, just when I thought he could sink no lower, he's done something so astoundingly callous that I just don't care what happens to him anymore. I know, it's cold of me to say, and I know, you should never give up on someone, but I'm so far past my limit.

He's a liar, a manipulator, he will say or do anything to get his fix (he's a cocaine addict, with a touch of gambling mixed in) and has drunkenly admitted to me in the past that he is "addicted to lying". The worst part is, there were times where he seemed genuine, but his actions have always gone back to him being self serving, consequences for others be damned. Going back as far as when he was like... 13, he was stealing things from around the house and selling them.

There was a time period where he met someone who was good for him, and from the outside, it looked like they were starting to build a wonderful life together, but it turns out he built the whole thing on lies, and those lies (and then bills) caught up with him. He doubled down on lying, got busted for stealing her things and selling them, turned abusive, got kicked out, lost everything and ended up living on a friend's couch. That didn't last, he refused any rehab suggestions, and instead stole from the friend that took him in and got kicked out again. I could go on and on, his life is a myriad of theft, lies, drugs, dealers, gambling, and loan sharks.

He ended up getting taken in by our oldest brother and his wife, who were in the process of having their first child together. The night he showed up on their doorstep was the night they went to the hospital, and while they were gone, he stole from them. Then when he got busted and kicked out, mum took him in, and now I'm pretty sure he's stolen from her and our sister as well.

Like, I know you're supposed to love your family, but I can't with him anymore. This is a man who has hurt the rest of my family, he has put his addiction ahead of everyone who has ever loved him or tried to give him chance after chance after chance. Mum has terminal cancer, sis has a disability, oldest brother is trying to manage his new family, none of them should be having to worry about a 38 year old addict who clearly does not care what his actions do to others. He's stolen from new parents, his terminally ill mother, and his disabled little sister... what kind of a fucking monster does that?

I loved my brother, he and I were very close. We hung out, we worked at the same jobs sometimes, we grew up together. But now, with everything he's done... I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to fix him, I'm SO tired of seeing him hurt my family. I'm tired of my oldest brother and I having to shoulder the responsibility for him, and clean up the fallout of his actions. I just want him gone, I want him to go away. I have no trust or respect for him anymore, and I don't think I ever will again. I know I should be hoping he finally gets clean, but frankly, I don't think he will. And after what he's done, putting our mom through this in what is likely her final months with us... I don't care what happens to him anymore. I just want him out of my life, and away from our family, so he can't lie, cheat and manipulate us anymore.