r/SiblingsOfAddicts

This is my first time on reddit kinda scared 🥲🥲. I’ve grown up with my brother being an addict, my whole life has been him using some sort of drug. He’s been clean multiple times but always turns back to them. The past 2 years have undoubtedly been the worst of them, he’s been abusing my mother both mentally and physically, he’s smashed up our home and our belongings aswell as stolen them to sell them for money. At this point I am beyond done with him, my whole life has revolved around him whether that’s walking on egg shells not to make him angry or everyone else in my family paying more attention to him than me or my other brother. I know it sounds selfish but when all of your achievements get ignored because your brother is having another episode it gets frustrating. He’s recently become homeless as has hurled abuse at my whole family blaming all of us for his addiction when it is purely his fault. Everyone has tired to help him either financially or mentally. Am I wrong for feeling nothing towards his suffering anymore? I get called heartless because I no longer feel bad for him, would that be true or is it normal to feel numb towards someone like this?..

Hi all,

I’m wondering if anyone else can relate to this. My little brother (30m) has been an addict for the last 12 years of his life. He got sober last year and has been going to meetings and sticking to his sobriety which is great. However, i’m realizing that the more that his personality, underneath all the years of drug use, gets uncovered, he still has a very self-centered ‘me me me’ type of mentality. When he was using we remained somewhat close and had several blow out fights related to him using but somehow always reconnected and found a way to be in each others lives. He definitely still had the entire world revolve around him and in our family he was forsure the identified patient. However, now that he’s sober I guess i hoped and imagined that the best qualities of him would start to emerge and we would be closer bc now the drugs weren’t the thing between us so to speak. I realize more and more that he has a lot of trouble being a normal adult meaning his social skills are incredibly poor, he has a lot of self-loathing and shame that comes out as prickliness towards me even tho I have been the most loving and supportive family member. Despite that he still seeks the most validation from the two people in our family that were the cruelest to him during the heights of his addiction.

Curious if anyone can relate or can offer some guidance.

Omg i really really dont know where to start this. Ive been a lurker on here for years. And I just wanna tell yall, at this point where im at. So im a 31, pushing 32 this year, woman. My baby sister who just turned 30, we are a yr and a half apart. Has been on sooooo much since she was 11. First started with pills, then went to meth, and now shes a full blown fent addict. Ugh guys this shit kills me. We are from Oklahoma. Umm, i was always my sisters biggest supporter, first, shes my baby sis, she got married at 17, and it was a shit show. I hate it. My niece was born in 2015. She's turning 11 in August. My sister has only been apart of my babygirls life 4 out of the close to 11 yrs shes been alive. And it's to a point where my niece doesnt want anything to do with her parents. They both have completely checked out of her life. Yall im struggling because its just soooo fucking much. My beautiful babygirl is 10 going on 20. She's sooooo talented in art, and choir. She's been chosen so many times to lead choruses. She has gained soooo much weight. And trust she comes from thick women (outside my sister) her dad's side and ours. But they, since birth put her on a tablet and then when it all went downhill... my sister has nothing to do with her. She's ashamed. And its fucking disgusting to me. Idk im rambling. I wanted to talk about my sister. But my niece. I really dont know how to talk about her or my pain. Or the fact weve lost sooo many family members, from as young as 18, to 37 from fent. 6 cousins at this point. Idk yall. As the oldest sister to the fact that the ONLY thing I love, doesnt have parents. Idk I'm so bitter and angry. My sister was arrested a couple days ago. For the first time. For fent andba fent pipe. And I sooo hope she sits. Im so lost. We have no communication. She doesnt reach out. She's just so fucked. I really cant get this in one message. There's been so much. And I really just need a mutual. So we cant get this shit out. Idk. I feel like im screaming into the void.