I've been feeling a bit stuck
If someone seems interested in you, but you're hesitant to make the first move to talk to them, are there any subtle ways to encourage them to come and talk to you instead? For example, is there a way to naturally signal your interest or create enough warmth and attraction that they feel inclined to approach you on their own?
Nicollo Machiavelli, who wrote the Prince, said in the book that it was far much better to be feared than loved. Fear creates obedience while love leads to betrayal. Indeed, when you are loved there are no boundaries and the relationship is short-lived but when you are feared, there is respect and loyalty. Do you agree or Disagree?
⬇️ Context in first comment
⬇️ Context in first comment
Not every thought needs to be shared with every person.
Being honest doesn’t mean saying everything that comes to mind. Wise people learn when to speak, when to listen, and when to let a disagreement go.
You don’t have to prove yourself to everyone. Some people will understand your ideas, and some won’t. That’s okay.
Daily Law: Think before you speak. A little self-control can save a lot of unnecessary conflict.
One of the most difficult aspects of this game is maintaining your power because it's dynamic and is always shifting for better or worse. Even if you do everything right, and whether it’s your own fault or not, there are so many ways you can lose your power once you have obtained it. Thus, in this post, I’ll be going through some of the most important points to stay in power once you get there.
Before I go through each point, a quick reminder of what you have to do to get power in the first place. Your best option for obtaining and maintaining power is to focus on building a long-term career in a field that suits you the most (e.g., Economics, Engineering, IT, Law) as early as possible by creating a sense of urgency and using the death ground strategy (Read: The 33 Strategies of War).
That is the only way you’re going to achieve major goals in life and build up a solid foundation that is going to outlast you. Thus, your best bet in life is to choose a particular field of interest that is going to be both relevant now and in the future, securing you everlasting power. And once you have achieved that particular goal, here’s what you do and what you do not do to maintain it:
1. Avoid Making Painful Mistakes
The first point, tied to Law 5, is quite obvious. Do NOT make any stupid mistakes that will get you in trouble, both in the short-term and in the long-term. Since power itself is already fragile and fickle, you do not want to make it worse by your own doing. Basically, wherever you are and whatever you do, follow the rules and do not break the law. Period.
I’ve seen too many people screw up their entire career and life by doing stupid illegal shit once they’re in a position of power. Indeed, power and success can play strange tricks on the mind, making you think you’re invincible and untouchable. And once you have gotten away with some small evil deeds, this can quickly escalate by trying to get away with even bigger evil deeds. And before you know it, you’re caught red-handed and are completely done for.
Understand that nobody gets away with anything in life, so keep your hands clean at all times (Law 26). And if you do happen to get yourself in trouble, use Law 22 asap to quickly get back on your feet and restore your reputation. Realize that a solid reputation takes many years to build and develop, but can be torn down in just a matter of seconds, making your life a miserable hell.
Personal Example 1:
Back in 2010, I was fired for stealing a few items in a grocery store where I worked as a Shop employee. I was only 24 at the time and was sick and tired of asking my dad for money because the pay was so low and I only barely survived month after month. One day, I was so fed up that I made a stupid mistake that would cost me a lot, both at the time and in the future. Long story short, I lost my job immediately, I got severely depressed, and had to start all over again from rock bottom.
I eventually landed a new job in a production facility where I was also depressed and miserable because the place was a shithole. Then one day, I started really applying myself again and decided to pursue higher education, thinking to myself that anything must be better than this miserable place. And so, I did, and that was the beginning of an incredible journey where I went from a miserable nobody to a graduate Civic Economist from the best Business school in my country, achieving top marks in every subject except four.
The road was far from easy, though, literal hell at times, which could have easily gotten me killed more than once. But I made it nonetheless, thanks to my family, and it opened up a whole new world for me, filled with many great opportunities I otherwise would never have. Most importantly, I restored my reputation 100%, to the point where I could reject opportunities left and right, whether it was a great job opportunity or some hot chick I could potentially date. It didn’t matter to me because I knew my own worth and I was just happy to become self-actualized during my journey, which is the highest form of consciousness you can achieve in life.
Personal Example 2:
Related to the first example, I never received a certificate from the job I was fired from that proved I had worked there, even though I asked for one several times. And so, 12 years later, I had an interview with a recruitment agency regarding a bank job offer. Now, I had no idea which bank it was until I arrived at the interview, where the Recruiter told me it was DNB, the biggest bank in Norway. And DNB has a zero-tolerance policy that states I cannot work for the bank unless I have ALL of my certificates from my prior employers.
First off, I was not aware of this policy; otherwise, I would have never gone to the interview in the first place. Second, the previous workplace where I never received a certificate went bankrupt years after I was fired, and no longer exists. Meaning, I had zero chance of getting one at this point, making the interview a total waste of time.
Keep in mind, then, that whether you leave or get fired from a job, employers will often hesitate to give certificates after the termination because they usually don’t prioritize it. They have better things to do now that you’re gone, at least in their own mind. Thus, you should always ask for one as soon as you leave or get fired, and keep pushing until you get one to save your own future. For all DNB knows, I could have been a financial genius with an impressive track record over the last 5 years that could have made a huge positive impact for DNB, but because of their zero-tolerance policy, I can never work there.
Learn the lesson then, and avoid painful mistakes from the very start that can determine your destiny in the short-term and in the long-term. Believe me, that ONE mistake back in 2010 cost me more than I ever could have imagined, so please be careful in your own endeavors. Your power is dependent on your reputation at all times, and you must never spoil it by any means necessary.
However, I will also suggest that you never become overcautious or paranoid. In that case, it’s better to operate in the grey area and not take everything too seriously, as long as you don’t get yourself into legal trouble. Mistakes and failures will always come your way, regardless, and even the best managers and businesses will go under eventually because it’s inevitable. It's better to make the best of your situation as you move forward, always guarding your reputation and always keeping your overall goal in mind. That will help you obtain and maintain your power.
2. Go for Failure
If you go for failure, you have nothing to lose, which takes a lot of the burden off your shoulders. Everyone fails at some point, so it’s better to embrace the fact that failure is inevitable than to be constantly worried about it. Success is, in fact, more dangerous than failure because you can easily think it was your own brilliance that brought your success, while disregarding the factors that actually played a significant role in your success, like luck, coincidences, and timing. Success can also go to your head, make you overconfident, and make you go too far (Law 47) instead of keeping yourself well-balanced and level-headed, which is crucial for maintaining power.
Thus, by going for failure and staying indifferent to whatever outcome happens, you avoid this trap and help you maintain your power more easily. Understand that people who do not crave or seek power to begin with are typically the ones who actually get it because they present themselves in a manner that feels more appropriate to everyone else around them. More often than not, I don’t have to do anything special to acquire power; it is usually appointed to me by others who recognize me as “that responsible guy” who should have it.
Indeed, power should come naturally to you as well, instead of sheer force on your part. People generally can’t stand power-hungry individuals who will do anything to get it because it shows a lack of decency and character. And this is why the game is so indirect; we all want and crave power, but few of us want to admit it openly because it’s "wrong" or "bad". But this is how the game is played in modern society, and you have to play along by disguising your real intentions (Law 3). If you act like you don't want any power, you are more likely to obtain and maintain it, since they will gladly provide it.
3. Depend on the Right People
Maintaining your power usually requires some form of dependency on other people. Your goal, then, is to recognize who these key players are and what you must do to keep yourself in a position of power. Use Law 13 to figure out each person's psychology and play on their self-interest, giving them exactly what they want before receiving anything in return. In the game of power, you must always give before receiving and establish long-term relationships built on mutual trust and interest that will keep you in power.
Furthermore, if they’re above you, you must always rely on their goodwill and references for both the present moment and for future deals and opportunities. If they’re your co-workers, you must get along with them just enough not to make your days miserable and unbearable. And if they’re below you, you must teach and guide them in the right direction without having them end up resenting you.
In other words, by maintaining good and healthy relationships with other people in your circle, you’ll also be able to maintain your power more easily, both now and in the future. Your every move counts, so be careful and wary of what you do and how you act around other players. By watching yourself like a Hawk from above, you’ll never allow yourself to make stupid mistakes that will get you in trouble.
4. Maintain Your Independence
Whether you’re dependent on other people or not to maintain your power, you must remain independent and always come from a position of strength and never from a position of weakness. Fearfulness and weakness are never respected in this game, but strength, competence, and confidence will always be respected as long as you live.
By maintaining your own independence through strength and competence, you showcase to the people around you that you’re still a valuable and trustworthy player, which gives you more options to play with. In any event, becoming an Entrepreneur and working for yourself should be your end goal in life unless you really enjoy working for other people (Law 20). If so, then by all means keep working for others.
If not, the reason you should never work for other people unless you have to is that other employers will never "care" about you unless they need you. And as long as they don't need you or can easily replace you, maintaining your power becomes so much harder. Thus, you can either try to make it on your own or keep being a replaceable cog in the wheel. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t either way, which is why there’s never any point taking the game too seriously to begin with, as long as you don’t get yourself in trouble.
Personal Example 3:
Back in 2019, I worked for a company in a position I was initially rejected for since I was overqualified. I called the boss regardless and told her I wanted to work, and eventually got the job, which I then used as a base of operations while I was seeking other relevant jobs.
Keep in mind that two other fresh employees started with me at the same time. One of them was an obvious Beta, trying to disguise himself as an Alpha. I smelled him out right away, trying to control the situation by demonstrating his “interest and knowledge” in their products. But I knew he was a pathetic mark from the get-go, and even told him straight to his face I was going to psych him out in a playful manner.
Needless to say, his Alpha charade didn’t last very long, and his Betaness quickly came out, as he struggled to succeed in his new position, which required cold calls and selling services and products to the construction industry (B2B). It was pitiful and sad to watch, as he lacked the skills and confidence required to get the job done. I, on the other hand, quickly adapted to my new position, learned as quickly as possible, and did whatever was necessary to succeed in my role as usual (Law 23, Law 28, and Law 48).
In fact, after 3 months, I almost stole the Top 1 seller spot from someone who’s been working at the company for 14 years. I outshone everyone else around me, as the Middle Manager showcased employees’ graphs and stats during the monthly meetings with me at the very top. And it shouldn’t come as a surprise, as I was, in fact, overqualified and a top performer by nature.
Anyways, as I kept becoming more and more successful, the Beta became increasingly jealous, frustrated, and demoralized by his own failures (Law 46), only to get relieved and happy at moments where he actually managed to close a deal. Which was quite pathetic in itself because he didn’t get it, or refused to admit it to himself; NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM AND HIS POOR FEELINGS! He would get so upset and discouraged whenever he introduced himself during a phone call, only to get hung up on immediately, as if these business owners couldn’t care less about him anyway.
I, however, did not take any rejections personally and just kept calling until someone showed interest. And when they did, my goal was always to help them solve a problem and not come across as a stereotypical seller who only wants to sell them something. That’s why I succeeded in the first place: I quickly learned to adapt to each person and gain their trust by mimicking their tone of voice and general mood (Law 48). I even established a long-term clientele relationship, in which he came back to me personally for more help and advice (Law 8).
Understand, in business, only power, money, supply, demand, self-interest, and mutual trust matter. And I’ve always played that game to the fullest as an INDEPENDENT person, and not as a DEPENDENT person. Realize the difference, because this Beta in his 40s HAD to take that job to support himself and his family. I, however, CHOSE to take that job deliberately and willingly, even though I was overqualified!
I would even berate the poor bastard at times whenever I was fed up, and he would quickly fold because he had no other choice. You see, I can get away with a lot of BS in whatever role I play at work because, as a high-achiever and top performer throughout my life, I always deliver the best results no matter what while maintaining my independence. And since results are all that really matters in the business world, I've had several employers begging me to stay after I've decided to leave. That is real value, that is real independence, and that is real power!
5. Practice Impression Management
Since the game is heavily reliant on appearances and the fact that you’re always judged on your appearance by the outside world, it doesn’t matter whether you’re on top or not in reality. What matters the most is how you come and how you’re perceived in the eyes of other valuable players that can make you or break you.
This is exactly why I never use the "Open for Work" option on my LinkedIn profile, because it automatically signals "weakness" to potential employers. People who use this option and then make a topic publicly about how they’re willing to work for this and that will, 10 out of 10 times, get little to no response. On the other hand, people who are already successful or appear successful get all the attention all the time.
Again, nobody cares about your goodness or willingness; they only care about your demonstrated experience and competence. And our human nature is still the same it has always been; whoever is already occupied, whether it’s having a job or a partner, will always be perceived as more valuable to the public eye. And you must always use this fact to your own advantage in the game of power, especially when you fail, because that’s when you will need it the most. Your perceived value alone can often save you in dark times, especially if you have maintained a good reputation that will keep you going.
Thus, in the periods in my life when I haven't been working for other people, I’ve started my own businesses and just worked for myself instead. That way, I continue to showcase my strength, competence, and independence to other powerful people who might be interested in working with me or even for me. My motto in life is always: I don’t need you; you need me!
And this is the position you always want to keep yourself in. But if you really do need others in some way or another, you must create your own valuable image that comes off as desirable and valuable to other people. You must also make them come to you naturally, and bait them whenever necessary (Law 8). However, keep in mind that you cannot fake real skills and competence. If your perceived valuable image does not reflect reality, they will quickly discard you, as the truth comes out.
Thus, whether you're a fresh player or an experienced player who has to start all over again, you HAVE to build up that experience and competence through hard work. There’s no other way around it unless you’re naturally talented at something. You will need to practice both aspects regardless, as it can only give you an advantage on the battlefield among other power players whose only desire is to take you out and claim the crown for themselves (Law 15).
6. Be Selfish
If you want power, you have to be selfish and do whatever it takes to get there, and most importantly, stay there. This game takes no prisoners, especially people who give themselves away freely, which only demonstrates they have no real value. The real world is ugly and dirty regardless of your perception of it, and you will have to get your nails dirty as well if you want to make it in this game.
And selfish people who don’t take any crap from anyone are always more respected and valued than selfless people who give themselves away. Why? Because selfish people value their own time, energy, and money more than anything else, which is essential to staying in power. People who are always available and needy scream weakness to everybody, whether they like it or not. And so, selfless people are pushovers who are easily walked right over by others.
Understand that being selfless only makes you feel better about yourself, but other than that, no real monetary value is created, nor does it increase your power whatsoever. There’s only power in giving to other people strategically, in which you make them feel dependent on you or indebted to you. But remember, people generally hate the feeling of gratitude and being indebted to others, which is why you must always avoid this trap set by other players, even your own mother.
Furthermore, just doing your best and being a good person is usually never enough, although I often wish it were. But realize that some games are dirtier than others, depending on where you end up in life, and you have to be prepared for anything at all times. Your battle scars will automatically make you hope for the best, but expect the worst at all times, hardening your mentality in your everyday struggles. You will also expect backstabbing as a natural part of the game, which is a good thing and not a bad thing, because it keeps you sharp and focused.
And whatever game you’re playing, Law 48 is, as always, your best chance to make it before considering any other law in the book. It will help you navigate any game successfully as long as you don’t transgress the other most important laws (Law 1, Law 3, Law 4, Law 5, etc.). Be selfish then, and always put yourself first before anyone else, as it can only benefit you in your quest for power.
7. Play the Long Game
If you want to maintain your power, playing the long game is not only your best chance; it’s your only chance. As I mentioned in the introduction, your power is strictly dependent on the foundation you have created early in life, which will sustain you in the years to come. Now, obviously, nobody knows what the future holds, but that’s not the point. The point is that there will always be some jobs and careers that will outlast everything else, and this is exactly where you need to keep your mind focused at all times. I always like to use doctors as the best examples, because doctors are always needed, no matter what, making it a superior long-term career choice.
Furthermore, by playing the long game, where you constantly make decisions today that have a long-term effect, you are setting yourself up for success rather than failure. Warren Buffett didn’t achieve 90% of his wealth before he turned 60 because that’s how long it takes to accumulate real wealth.
Thus, if you are highly sensitive to trends and patterns like me, you will sniff them out in the moment today and recognize their future potential. Because again, it’s the future that holds real potential for money and power. All you have to do is position yourself for the future by making the correct moves today and then use the time to your own advantage (Law 35).
Ask yourself, what good is getting that job today if it’s only relevant for the next 1-2 years? Why not pick something that is actually going to outlast you instead, so that you don’t need to hit rock bottom and start all over again? This is the difference between short-term thinking and long-term planning. The latter will keep you in power, whereas the former will only keep you in power for a short period of time at best. Thus, always aim for long-term everlasting power that will serve you well, and leave short-term opportunities for the sucker players.
8. Be Like Water
Since there are never any guarantees, regardless of being a highly independent individual with a long-term career path and a clear end goal in mind, your ability to remain flexible and adaptable is always key to maintaining your power. Yes, I'm of course talking about Law 48 again, which has saved me more times than I can count.
However, being too flexible can also work against you. Think about it, if you were meant to become an Engineer, would you really be happy working as a Nurse? Probably not, which is why I recommend always keeping your main goal in mind (Law 29) and using other opportunities, which are mostly related to your main goal, as stepping stones. Never waste time and energy on other opportunities that do not serve your main interests and purpose because chances are you’ll be miserable even if you achieve them.
On the other hand, if you do not have a main goal, spreading yourself out and taking advantage of other opportunities as much as possible is your best chance to stay in power. Just don’t get upset if you find yourself stuck in the rat race, which is the con of using this strategy. And so, I will always argue that it’s much better to go all in on one thing that’s going to maintain your power, both now and in the future (Law 23). Use the flexible strategy only if you have to, never because you want to. Nothing can replace long-term power; it's priceless.
Conclusion
Obtaining power is always much easier than maintaining power because so many things can go wrong, whether it’s your own fault or not. One day you’re on top of the world, feeling like a King or a Queen, only to hit rock bottom the very next day. I’ve experienced it again and again, and what's even worse is when you learn from your mistakes in one situation, only to fail in another situation by doing the exact opposite. Yes, what’s “wrong” in one situation can still be “correct” in the next situation, especially when it comes to investing. Thus, I hope these points will help you maintain your power more easily by avoiding typical traps and make good long-term choices.
Has anyone here applied any of the principles from The 33 Strategies of War in their own life? I'd be interested in hearing specific examples or experiences if you're willing to share.
I'm particularly curious about the ideas of self-directed warfare and grand strategy . Some said that the 33 strategies of war are ways to destroy the people that is in your way and some also said that it is to obtain power while 48 law of power is maintain power . Have these concepts been useful as a mindset or practical framework in your work, personal development, or long-term projects? If so, how have you applied them, and what results did you notice?