r/TheDatingTea

Spent two years on swipe-based apps getting absolutely nowhere meaningful. A friend who's in her 40s suggested I try eHarmony. I resisted for months because the whole thing felt too structured and deliberate like I was filling out a job application.

Finally signed up and yeah, the pace is completely different. Fewer matches, slower conversations, more questions upfront. At first it felt boring compared to what I was used to.

Three months in and I've had two of the most genuine conversations I've had with anyone from an app. One of them has been ongoing for six weeks.

I think I needed the slower format more than I realized. Anyone else made the switch from high-volume apps to something more intentional and felt a similar shift?

The conversations aren't the problem. I'm getting decent responses, people seem engaged, things go back and forth for a few days. Then it just kind of stalls out before we get to the point of actually meeting.

I'm not sure if I'm waiting too long to suggest meeting, or suggesting it too early, or something about how I'm phrasing it. Or maybe it's just normal attrition and I'm overthinking it.

For people who've had success converting Match conversations into actual dates what's your timing like? Do you bring it up early or let it develop first? Any specific approach that worked?