r/ToothpasteBoys

The Wedding Reception. A giant cake shaped like a tube of Crest toothpaste sits in the center of the room. Lancer is blasting cartoon sound effects over the microphone.)

Ralsei: (Smiling proudly, holding a giant cake knife) Look, Kris! It even has the little blue and white stripes inside the frosting!

Kris: (Staring blankly at the cake) Can we eat it with a toothbrush?

Susie: (Walking up, already holding a plate) If you two don't cut that thing in five seconds, I'm biting it like an apple.

Ralsei: (Gently placing his hand over Kris's to hold the knife) Together, Kris! On three! One... two...

(Suddenly, Noelle bursts through the reception doors, sweating and pointing dramatically at Kris's hand.)

Noelle: KRIS!!! Is that... is that the SNOW RING?! Where did you get that?! I thought we left that in the Cyber City Dumpster!!!

Ralsei: *(Blinks, looking at Noelle, then at Kris)*Wait, Kris... you got this from a dumpster?

Kris: (Deadpan) It was a very romantic dumpster.

Susie: (Facepalms) Man, I thought the locker thing was bad. Kris, you gave your new husband a trash ring?

Kris: It gives +4 Magic and increases Cold resistance. I am protecting him.

Lancer: (Splashing punch everywhere) Woo! Trash ring! Everybody do the dumpster dance!

Ralsei: (Sighs, but smiles anyway, looking at Kris) Well... it is very shiny. And my hands dofeel remarkably warm now. I forgive you, Kris.

Kris: Good. Let's eat the toothpaste.