r/WomenDatingOverForty

It’s the most fascinating social experiment. Here goes.

Last month, I decided to buy a parcel of land and renovate a historic home. When I say historic, I could probably apply for special protections.

Only one woman owned it since the early 1950s. She passed away, and I did all the work of cleaning up her belongings. It made me cry a couple times because everything was in its place, as it was the day she left. Anyways, I decided the day I bought it that I would restore the home to its original glory in memory of her, the town that used to have a bustling economy, and then breathe new life and my special touches to make it my own. I decided to close my sugar free bakery I’ve operated for seven years, and educated myself on everything I possibly could on what it takes to renovate a home.

In the last month, I’ve encountered many men (actually only men) in ordering specialty masonry materials, hiring them to give me reports, quotes, traveled all over the state to their construction sites to pick stuff up.

First, you should see their faces when I hop out. I’m not sure who they think they’re expecting. But their tone changes. And then it quickly devolves to criticizing my decisions, shitting all over my selections, insulting me, devaluing my materials, and questioning “if I even know what I’m doing.”

One of them in question works for the county, and yesterday I was establishing the utilities. He walked by and said, “Moving in?” I said nothing, gathered my things and left to go continue work on renovations.

He pulls up to my house minutes later, unsolicited, and asks me what the heck do I think I’m doing. Then walking around MY house sizing up the materials I had just brought in, and the barrage of insults began. I began to get so angry. This 57 year old man literally tried telling me my materials were not in fact what they were, when I walked the very site they were mined from that morning!

I told him he is trespassing, and he’s on official notice to never step foot on my property again, then blocked.

I could go on. Dealing with these old manchildren everyday has been exhausting. It’s been disgusting. Why are these men so fucking entitled? They’re so visibly angry that I don’t need their help. It’s absolutely maddening.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19K5LaScsg/

If this’s against the rules, I’d like to apologize.

I’m a woman in her 30s. I only have had one successful relationship. The rest of them were garbage.

I’ve tried online dating before. But the quality of the men is really bad. Recently, I met a man who was highly educated and with a great career. He suddenly blocked me. At first, I thought I must have said something wrong because we got along well. Then his WIFE reached out to me. Dude even sent the picture of her passport to me and told me that he was a dual citizen (she’s from a foreign country).

Currently, I’m not trying to date anymore and probably won’t do online dating again. It’s not because I’ve been traumatized or hurt, but I’m just sick of all the bs. Honestly, it’s okay if I stay single all my life.

In my opinion, people tend to perceive relationships and marriages as something that will make their lives better, which can be true. But just like what the dual citizenship dude did to his wife, I’ve realized that it can also deteriorate the quality of your life if you’re with a terrible person. In addition to that, your spouse might pass away or decide they want a divorce one day. It’ll much easier to plan for retirement as a single woman.

This is just how I feel for now. But I also want to know what piece of advice you would give to your younger self.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1FNQK7aJww/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Solid advice

Ladies, help me.
I met a guy on the app. Cute pics, seemed normal.
We met for coffee.
5 min in: "So do you like cooking?"
15 min in: "My apartment's a mess, I need someone organized"
30 min in: "You seem like the nurturing type"
I was like... babe, I'm here for a date, not to adopt a 42 year old 😭
When did "looking for a partner" turn into "looking for a mom with benefits"?
Is it just me or are men 40+ suddenly very domestic?

I just put myself out there and got back into dating. I met a great guy out at a lounge. He is handsome with a great job. We have perfect banter. But he is awful in bed. He thinks just because he’s packing that that’s all he needs to do. On our third time in the bedroom. I asked him if he goes down, and he said no. Even though he expects me to choke on him. It was so disappointing. I just want to give up. I don’t understand how a man over 40being such a selfish lover. It took me so much to put myself out there and I had so much hope for him. We went on about 7 dates before we had sex. I don’t know if I should just block him.

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Around 2017, my (now ex) husband started to get very into Jordan Peterson—watching lectures on repeat, taking notes, constantly telling me about his “theories.” Peterson was like a poison, but ultimately I think he just gave DH permission to display the misogyny hiding just under the surface.

It started small, with DH correcting my tone, then it shifted to making belittling comments, asserting that he “chose me,” wanting me to ask permission to do basic things, etc. It deteriorated steadily, and I wasted years extracting myself from an emotionally abusive relationship that looked fine to outsiders.

What are some giveaways that a man consumes red pill content and subscribes to this kind of viewpoint? I know so much more now, but some of this can be subtle early on.

(Australia, btw🦘)

"ENM"
"Married and not looking to change my situation"
"Discreet"
"Not a ONS, not a boyfriend/girlfriend situation, but something in between"
"Let's enjoy each other without the relationship scripts"
"Just recently become ENM"
"Something casual and ongoing"
"I've just come out the end of a divorce"
"FWB friendship (not after a relationship)"
"In a relationship that has become open somewhat recently"

😂😂 As a classic Australian movie says, "Tell him he's dreaming."

There are, to be fair, a few bright sparks amongst the gloom. But they are not in my age range, so they do not count. Therefore...

No, thank you.

NO, THANK YOU.

No. Just no.

DEFINITELY NO.

I am saddling up the horse of no and riding on out of here. My horse says NEIGH, by the way.

Why would I get out of bed for this?? What do these men think they are offering? Why would a peen plus nothing else be a good deal for me?

Depressingly, there is a part of me that appreciates the honesty. I'm mostly used to guys dangling the relationship carrot in front of me when what they really want is commitment free-sex and emotional support. I'm also used to guys being married/in relationships and lying about it.

Last guy waited until I was straddling him (with clothes on fortunately) to tell me he was actually in the process of reconciling with the wife he'd previously told me he had divorced a few years ago. They were now looking to "explore ENM together". Yet when pressed, she had not actually given him permission to sleep with other women. I un-straddled him naturally, but it was a disgusting experience, and I regret giving him so much of my energy.

I'm almost... impressed??? that some men do tell you the truth, which is that they're not offering anything of value. Wow, that is sad.

Anyway I think I'm just going to go back to having female friends and hobbies and studying and going to dance and pottery class. It is absolute nonsense out there and I just can't see how this is worth my time or energy.