First date in 2 years..A lot to unpack here.
I’m 50F. We had talked on the phone a couple of times and messaged for a week before meeting. I was excited. I wasn't looking for anything serious—just a new connection, some fun, maybe chemistry and intimacy.
Dinner was okay, but we had very different views on some things. Afterwards, we met his work friends at a bar. He pulled me aside to warn be careful about being too opinionated because he was their boss and it could reflect badly on him, which already made me feel like I was walking on eggshells.
Later, while he was on his phone betting on sports, one of his older male coworkers asked me to dance. I did. It was completely innocent and we kept our distance. My date was clearly unhappy and said something like, “The girls where I'm from don't act like that.”
Throughout the night he was also giving me very mixed signals—kissing me and touching me while saying we weren't sleeping together, and telling me he liked that I couldn't read him.
I eventually decided I was uncomfortable and wanted to leave. I pulled him aside privately and calmly explained why. He became furious, told me I was overreacting, drunk and crazy, and later called me “psycho” and said there was something wrong with me.
Then he sent a string of nasty messages, including telling me he'd found another woman who “wasn't psycho,” and blocked me everywhere.
I've never been called psycho in my life. I'm still shocked at how quickly he turned on me.
He had presented himself beforehand as easygoing, self-aware and someone who valued communication and therapy. None of that matched what I experienced when I challenged him.
I’m struggling with the emotional whiplash because I actually liked him and was excited about the possibility of a new connection
Edit: i want to thank everyone for their sensitivity and compassion here. Thank you so much for not calling me out as being naive or stupid, both of which i was. But i'm learning as i go.