r/birthtrauma

Hello, I am not sure it’s the appropriate subreddit for this but let’s try it.

I am looking for similar experiences because I am losing my mind. I gave birth almost 20 months ago and had a 3rd borderline 4th degree tear.

have almost no continence problems but I have been in pain every fucking day since 3 months post partum. I am talking anal pain. Never during a poop but always after, and also outside of pooping, it’s pretty much constant.

I don’t have an anal fissure, I saw a proctologist and she said it’s my scar from the tear itself that is painful, also saw a gyno who said they don’t treat anal pain, and a pain management expert who’s been pretty much useless. Pelvic floor PT aggravates me, and I tried several methods. I can’t even wipe or touch the area without being in pain for hours or days. After a poop I have to rinse in the shower and sit on a heating pad for hours. I can’t work, can’t have sex, can barely take care of my baby. I have posted in groups for people with similar tears and almost no one answered, it seems like no one experiences this, and that the main complication of this kind of tear is incontinence which I don’t really have thank god (it’s just a little harder to hold farts sometimes but with the damage I have it’s a miracle it’s not worse). So I wanted to see if someone here had a similar experience. Doctors don’t even really know what’s wrong and they don’t seem to care too much either. I also have a lot of tenesmus (constant urge to poop even if nothing is there) and incomplete evacuation (even if it’s way better now with a high dose of miralax).

Thanks in advance.