r/dating_apps

I’m building Ever After, a dating platform designed around a problem I kept seeing with existing apps: people have endless options, but very little information about whether someone is actually compatible or ready for a relationship.

Instead of making swiping the core experience, we’re building around compatibility, emotional intelligence, relationship readiness, values, and intentional introductions.

One concept we’re testing is giving users a Relationship Archetype based on their assessment before asking them to become a paid member.

The idea is to provide something genuinely useful upfront rather than immediately putting the product behind a paywall.

I’d love founder/user feedback on a few things:

Does the concept make sense immediately?
Would a Relationship Archetype be valuable enough for you to complete an assessment?
What would you need to see before paying for a dating membership?
Does “anti-swipe dating” feel differentiated, or does it sound like marketing language?
What would make you trust a new dating platform enough to actually join?

I’m especially interested in criticism. We’re still early enough to change things, so “I wouldn’t use this because…” is probably more useful to me than “looks great.”

Website: www.youreverafter.com
Beta: https://youreverafterbeta.com

I’m an international student in Budapest. Been sketching out an idea for a dating app that, instead of just showing you an endless list of strangers, also tells you if you’ve probably crossed paths with someone in real life (no exact location shown, just mutual invitation both sides have to opt in. “you may have crossed paths”

The idea came from noticing how many people have a “we kept seeing each other and never talked” story.

Target customer: students, expats, young professionals in dense urban areas, people who move through the same places repeatedly (campus, cafés,…) but don’t currently have a way to reconnect with someone they noticed but didn’t approach.

Curious if this could actually grow, or if it’s a problem people don’t actually need a solution for.

I have tinder but I hate that you have to pay at least 18.99 for a week just to see who liked you. It says I have 99+ likes and I can’t see ANY of them. Why is it so stupid expensive?

I’ve (24M) Been on 6 dating apps for the past 4 months. Have gotten absolutely 0 likes. Kept getting told by friends, siblings, and even ChatGPT that it’s probably my account so I had my sister set up my page. She wrote a good bio, took good pictures for me. Still got nothing. And it’s tiring. I have a hard time meeting people in person and starting the whole dating thing from there because I’m Autistic and it makes it extremely hard for me to read social cues and flirting, and Due to that I end up getting extremely anxious and freezing up when meeting new people. I even tried Hiki which is supposed to be for neurodivergent people and I have had absolutely 0 results there too. I’m getting tired of being alone, tired of being behind everyone my age, but also tired of even trying. Sorry if it’s stupid, just genuinely needed somewhere to vent about the bullshit on these apps.

Whats your opinion/experience of dating apps (eg-tinder, badoo) with SL people?

Hey guys, so i recently joined a datin app (not to mention the name). I hadn’t got a match since a month as i am not much attractive kind of guy. Recently what happened was i got a match from a girl. We instantly connected in the app. She mentioned she is not much active on this app and wanna switch to any other platform. I texted what do u prefer and she mentioned whatsapp.

I was surprised as no girl would give her number on first instance that too within few hours of matching. As she was suspicious too, i didn’t give my personal number to her, but texted her from another number which i barely used. As we started the convo she said she is doing mba and wants to get to know me more and asked for insta. I too gave the insta account. She sent out a follow request and surprisingly she had zero post and 20 followers. I was confirmed the person is a scammer. But i continued to see where it goess.

She started texting saying am in a romantic mood and i knew where it was goingg. So i continued the conversation for an hour. And as the conversation went too deep, she suddenly sent out a video call. I picked it up with camera turned the other side. The video call had some recorded video from random site.

As the scammer got confirmed am also playing too. He sent me screen recorded video of all our chats and sent me screenshot of all the female followers from my insta account. The scammer threatened to pick up the call and do as i say or else “i will send all this chat message screen recording to all your female followers, brothers sisters and everyone and ruin your character”. I too followed his game and told pleasee sirr, delete all these, am from respected family. But i didn’t pick the phone

He too was calling continuously. I got irritated and threatened him back saying before you send it to my followers, i will send it myself to everyone in my list. What do u think, i too have screenrecorded everything. I will make sure that i post this in my profile as a awareness video. Do whatever you wantt, i will make sure this post reach to everyone. Go ahead send it to all my followers. As i threatened him and raised the voice, he got panic and started scolding. As i told ki i make such awareness nd sent him the other scammers video, he blocked my number nd went….

As i knew about these scamss; i too was careful with sharing numbers or picking unknown video calls…

So guyss, please be aware of such scams happening these days on dating appss. Please don’t share your number or pick up any video call in a hurry. And even if such thing happens, be courageous to confront themm and spread this awareness

Hii I’m a 23F expat in the Balkans and I was wondering if Raya is good for dating here? I’ve been waitlisted for month now and just trying to understand if it’s worth it..

I am looking for connections with men and see where it goes; nothing specific relationship wise, just quality men. Thank you for your recommendations:)

I’m doing a fresh start with my Hinge account and would prefer not to use my personal phone number if I can avoid it.

The free burner/VoIP apps I’ve tried haven’t been very reliable, so I’m looking for a legitimate temporary or secondary-number provider that works reliably for SMS verification.

Ideally, I’d like something affordable and pay-as-you-go rather than another monthly subscription. Has anyone had good recent experiences with privacy-friendly secondary numbers for dating apps?

Edit: i went with https://www.1001sms.com/ to rent a number and my new profile is finally getting likes :ddd

Meanwhile, I get plenty of likes from women who live more than an hour away (sometimes 2+ hours away). It’s a little hard to meet a woman for coffee when she lives 2 hours away.

I live in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area, and you’re telling me there isn’t a single compatible woman within a 30-minute drive?

Either these apps’ algorithms are seriously flawed, or they’re deliberately designed this way. My guess is the latter: if they consistently showed you the most compatible people nearby, you might actually meet someone and stop using the app. Keeping you swiping is the business model.

So i purchased the subscription of bumble happn and hinge and i look decent like 6ft tall Gora , literature student and got good dressing sense but got no match at all not even one total waste of money.
Has anyone gone through the same?

I know this has been asked, but I definitely feel like my mental health issues, and my own trauma with relationships is making it hard to see what’s what with this guy.

Met this dude on Tinder, not my usual type but sparks were FLYING. Granted, he started off asking a specific question about my niche sport that no “normie” has ever thought to ask me, so my guard was down from the jump. This is long distance which makes everything trickier, but at first, we were texting paragraphs. He was going on and on about me and how he wasn’t looking for this, but he thinks I’m so incredible, talking about what he’d do if I moved and how he’d support me, all that love bomb-y stuff. And this might have been! I know that. Just trying to figure it out for sure.

I noticed a change a few days later. Texts got less frequent, shorter, more teasing and coy. It was fine and fun. I played along, kept getting spicy and still having fun conversations. Everything still felt okay.

Now, I’m questioning it. He says he’s been working a lot and not sleeping. Okay, you’re a grown man with a life and a job (part of why I was attracted. He seems very stable and very emotionally regulated, unlike my exes). I even asked him about it, and he says I’m somewhat reading into it, but he’s also trying not to fall too fast, too hard.

Do I believe that? Should I?

To cut him some slack, I have BPD and bipolar. I have past relationship trauma. I do often read into small things too much, and I know that about myself. That being said, this makes it hard to know when I might be reading into something, or when I’m picking up on something intuitively that’s genuine.

Should I just be patient, or cut this loose? He seems like a fabulous guy, but I’ve done the mixed signals thing before, and I won’t do that again. I’ve told him straight up about my anxieties and past relationships, and he’s taken it in stride. Still, this is tricky and confusing for me when I am a “I want to crawl in your skin and live in your bones” type. Help would be appreciated!

I've been using a couple of apps for a while and have matched with a few people, but haven't gotten any replies. And it's been a long time since I've even matched with a single profile after that. I know my profile isn't super interesting, but I also want to know if other people are actually getting matches on the app? Are they finding real connections there? Or is it just me?

I know I'm very different in real life than my profile there, but how should I even approach them in the first place?

I'm not sure if I should try other apps too, or if it just takes time, or what?

Just curious and want to know how it worked out for you guys.

Honestly, I think traditional dating apps have some pretty big problems, especially lately.

It often feels like men struggle to get matches, while women can end up with an overwhelming number of choices. In both cases, I think the endless swiping can become repetitive and frustrating.

But while endlessly swiping, I noticed something interesting...

You scroll through Tinder, Hinge, etc. and sometimes you see someone and immediately think:

“Wait… I saw a profile 5 minutes ago that would be perfect for this person.”

But there's nothing you can do about it.

So I decided to create Pezzo (Piece in Italian)

The idea is simple:

Instead of swiping for yourself, you're shown two dating profiles and asked:

“Would these two make a good match?”

Yes or No

You can also say why you think they're compatible.

Over time, I want to build statistics around these “ships”:

“You and X have been matched by 27 people.”

And if the same two people keep getting matched, they could eventually choose whether they actually want to connect.

Basically, I'm trying to turn matchmaking into a social game.

I think there's something really interesting about letting other people notice compatibility that you might completely miss yourself.

Right now I have basically 2 test users, so I'm looking for the first 100 people to try it and tell me honestly:

Is this actually fun? Is it useful? What would you change?

https://pezzopuzzle.com/

Recently, I got back to Bumble. I have used it 1st during the golden age of the dating apps. Never had trouble getting matches and dating ladies. Stopped to use after I found my gf. After our relationship ended, I got back to dating apps in 2024. Got two dates right in the beginning and then it got super hard. Paid for 3 months and 0 effect. Gave up again and returned one week ago.

One thing that changed is that I'm older, but I didn't change how I look that much. Although I put recent pictures, my friends said that I could use the old ones bcz no one will tell the difference. I put my age range filter in between 35 to 46, and am really thinking to enlarge it to 32-50, but that may be too much and just a waist of time feeding fake hopes. Also, I list "long term" and "life partner", I just don't put "marriage" bcz it seems that some ladies get afraid by that - but that's my ultimate relationship goal.

My curiosity is: given the amount of criticism these apps are getting, and assuming they aren't working for you: what are you doing now to find a connection? Is there any new kind of app for this nowadays? Are you trying in the wild AKA real life?

Any advices or stories will be appreciated.

One rule. Everyone has to follow it.

It can be about texting, first dates, ghosting, honesty, effort, communication - anything.

One sentence is enough.

Let’s see what daters think should be non negotiable.