rpg horror story; stereotypes are here for a reason
CW: fantasy racism, implied PDFiled, sections of COVID, mentions of torture
So I watched Magic Hat’s bards video, and it reminded me of an old high school DM, Johnny in the late 2000s, who let the class stereotypes of TTRPG rule his DMing/play. A few that I could remember from high school.
People tried to turn skill monkey into engineer types in Pathfinder 1e via the rogue, since gunslinger wasn't allowed and always started in jail or was branded a criminal because of “the class's background.” Regardless of craft, social class, or race, they had to be criminals, con men, or pirates, and never a Lawful alignment. The rogue could never be Lawful. Bards had to be able to sing or play instruments for full class features, plus be flirty. The worst was the strict Lawful Good paladin stereotype: law enforcers who couldn't commit crimes even if laws were unjust, refusing rewards and leaving characters undergeared or not scaling properly in 3.5 or 4e. The deity had to be Lawful Good or close, with backgrounds like Jesus or Judge Dredd, or paladins who had lost levels and needed long redemption quests, which few completed.
So, cut to 2021 or 2022, the pandemic is in full swing, and I just moved out of my folks' home, after increasing boundary issues and other toxic behavior. I was invited to an “anime dark” style online DnD 5e game by Johnny whom I ran into while working on gig apps.
starting at 9th level, where we were a group of outcasts;
Me as a dragon born oath of vengeance paladin/dragon sorcerer (sorcerer to allow for a tail) was a holy warrior turned knight-errant after the ordermaster of “the people’s defenders” freely went along with the corrupt reforms on the stripping of rights.
Puppy, a mute gnome College of Puppetry bard, whose circus burned down to the ground by racists to avoid paying them, and communicated with puppet sign/music boxes, by her parents.
Anger-Burns Tiefling gloomstalker ranger, an ex-bounty hunter who, after bagging a number of resistance members to the mad kings reforms, had the inquisition called on them for being part demon… despite the inquisition being quietly replaced by a demon cult by the new king.
Lord Shadowmore, the bastard born half-orc rogue who was formerly going to be the head of a noble house, but due to a mix of racial purity laws and both sides of his noble line getting purged by the rule of the new king. Fled in the night and trying to find his Orc cousins for aid.
Campaign background: Stuck in a nation that, thanks to the “wrong” prince getting crowned as the guy ahead of him disappeared around the same time, as the old king was assassinated by a non-human, according to the new king. Over the last 20 years, things have been hell for non-humans. Slavery, using them for sacrifices to dark powers, closing off the borders as too many non humans fleeing/threats from former allies. We were traveling together because we had all been screwed over by society, and our issues were, one way or another, linked to a strange noble lord in one of the worst parts of the country. All of us wanted him to pay in some way or another plus he may have away past the magic boundary keeping the non-humans.
Over the course of 3 to 5 sessions, we were traveling deeper into the heavily wooded province. Where monsters of all kinds lay in wait, and the few civilized counties were at the smallest a gathering of Hamlets, and the largest a small trade post or lake/river port. It was the sessions, or at least parts of them in civilized parts that put a timer on the campaign.
Strike 1: After completing a quest to recover wagons of food meant for one of the few untouched halfling villages, we learned that the “good” part of the people’s defenders were extorting the town for the food. They demanded either that ⅓ of the town return to the capital as slaves or that the town give up most of the wood, coal, and furs stockpiled for the coming winter. I stepped in and asked the quest giver, “What in the name of the fucking gods were they doing?” only to be told, “Doing the people’s bidding by finding fresh slaves for the slave pits, as is the people’s will, through the god king emperor,” before pointing out that I still carried the emblem of the order. I was told I'm still part of the org and have to obey the king, especially as one blessed with dragon’s blood.
I naturally ripped the emblem off and broke it while in the same motion, stabbed the man with the two-handed broadsword. A short combat later, the Survivor points out that the key is enchanted not to open the food stores unless one) someone of true blood is touching it (pure human or dragon) or two) someone stronger than the owner claims it before trying and failing to teleport it away with puppy’s counterspell. Lord grabs the key and shoves it into the defender’s open wound while I lay on hands. We told the crowd with fair music from puppy’s dolls that they can rip it out of him and save themselves from hunger, leaving the man screaming as he is ripped apart by starving halflings.
Strike 2: while coming back from a job dealing with cannibalistic bridge trolls, Anger-Burns was told to make a hard perception check to spot a tattoo to a bounty hunting group that was part of trying to hand her over. The sheriff confessed on the spot to it but it's been years ago, plus he now has a wife and kids and a productive member of the community…of what the DM put as “not even racist white trash would live here.” In fact, there was his wife and kids now. Running down the hill to tell him about their day, dinner in hand.
Anger-Burns and the rest of us waste no time killing whatever law enforcement was in the building which, to be fair, was being condescending and tried to shortchange us on the reward. The wife and kid were put in a jail cell within earshot by puppy, as Shadowmore looked over the records on the noble we were trying to find as well as freeing prisoners that were clearly being held on false charges. Anger-Burns and I took turns beating and scalping the crap out of the sheriff to get the combo for the evidence locker full of loot and other names of the man that wronged are party member who also seem to be working for the Noble that we were looking for. Before setting the sheriff’s office on fire but after letting the wife and kids go, the wife tried to stab Shadowmore, and in kind, he stabbed her, leaving the kids to grieve over the body.
The final strike: an inn out of the way of most of the townships run by catfolk as effectively used as a base for most of the game. While investigating the area where the Noble’s hidden manor was, the man had access to druidic magic to hide it. Getting back to see the place burned to the ground and the mother and father catfolk running the placed hanging from a tree, stripped of clothing and brutalized. The two kids were no where in the remains of the building we called home and was helping fix up. Anger-Burns tracked the drag marks to one of the swamp towns on the border. To make a long story short, the town was full of cultists, grabbing non-human travelers to sacrifice to a Lovecraftian swamp puppy. The family was accused of cheating one of the elders out of cards, sapplies, and possibly the dad was cheating on one of their wives, so they organized the kidnapping of the kids and the lynching of the parents.
Getting back to town after the “quest” they put us on, thinking their demi-god was unkillable, to a party of level 10s at this point, dropping the monster's head to their feet, they dropped the act. Going from anger at killing their god, to appeals to tradition, and shadowmores, and my character’s “purer sides” of our bloodlines. Ending with “you can't just kill all of us, we outnumber you, and clearly too good to wipe out a town,” which my character laughed, Shadowmore ordered the woman and children indoors and Puppy put a puppet by the door to the temple to block it. It didn't take long to massacre the whole lot of them after the warlocks and trained fighters went down. We then told the woman and children to flee into the night as we looted the temple and set it on fire. The session ended with Johnny telling me that I have become an oathbreaker and everyone was now of evil alignment and needed to make new characters.
The aftermath: we, the party, talked to the DM in a makeshift session zero, where the DM laid out what he hated after reviewing our sheets and backstories a bit more thoroughly. The first thing was that, by DnD tradition, we were not a real DnD party, as “none of you are playing your class right or the proper alignments!!!” None of us were on the Good axis, as I was CN leaning CE, Shadowmore was LN, Puppy was true N leaning NG, and Anger-Burns was CN leaning N or L. Johnny told us that leaning isn't a thing and we needed to role up good characters as “regardless of a shit world, Adventurer parties are always the good guys, you four act more like mercs and hired thugs.” Which, in fairness, adventurers are a step up from.
On top of the alignment issues, we were murderhoboing regardless of who attacked first, species slurs or refusal to talk until they were on their deathbeds. Even if spared, they just come back a session later with friends and mock us for our “weak mercy,” and try the same waterworks when they are nearly downed again. On top of that, we did kill women regardless of them attacking first, or us defending ourselves and possibly inadvertently killed kids by making them orphans.
He pointed out how each of us were failing as our chosen class, Lord Shadowmore was a rogue and couldn't be Lawful in any way, regardless of taking the noble background. The fact that he was also playing a “pirate” subclass when acting like an English gentleman showed that he never really played a “true rogue” before. Next was Anger-Burn who, as a ranger, was “too urban” and was also taking away the optional feature that replaces Favored Terrain. Rangers and keepers of the wild and also didnt like that she picked humans and the like as Favorites Enemies, regardless of her backstory having them live in the cities for most of her life, “its not logical for your character.” as he switch to puppy, o puppy the homebrew mute puppet bard was told that she needed to add a lot more singing or Poetry to her act to be a real bard. He also wanted to question if she was going for some kind of “Sexy Jester,” given the nature of the class. The performance acts around kids had Johnny concerned about if anything was going on. Given that the whole class was sexual in nature and was trying to quietly block them just in case. Which Puppy being IRL non-verbal autistic either from likely being told she was going to lose her text-to-speech bot or being suggested to be a PDFile, dropped the server, followed by burns and lord.
He was confused about why they dropped or even blocked him, and about the claim that “people don't understand what their character would do,” since class tropes are the building blocks of any character in the hobby.
I tried to tell him, explain to him how that wasn't true, or the whole “why are you a bard around children, dont you know they have to be sexy” comment. Only to get my share of what was wrong with my character and me as a person.
Paladins and Clerics' first editions were always to be beacons of morality and justice, and all Paladin and Cleric players have to keep that in mind regardless whatever WotC say. He wasn't going to stop me from taking the Oath of vengeance but I needed to be the most lawful good version of that possible. Like how my antag, the ordermaster as a paladin, had no choice but to hold up the evil laws. In fact, if he had fully read my backstory or the others, he wouldn't have allowed me to become one, after finding a line about “losing their faith in the system…” meaning I didn't even have the most basic part of being a paladin, faith.
He went on about how I was “leading the party to the wrong Conclusion about the noble” as he was dropping hints that he was the lost Prince and all the pain and suffering he did to the party was accidental/prepping us to be the agents he needed to take back the crown.
He ended it with a speech about how I haven't changed since high school. Inflexible and unable to adapt to the pre-established groundwork that RPGs and fantasy have laid out to how the genre Works, I needlessly push the boundaries to be in my comfort zone instead of others, and I was still a Godless A-hole with no sense of right or wrong before kicking and blocking me.
TLDR; high school DM who follows class tropes too closely, grew up and invited me to his dark gritty game world, ends up destroying it with RPG tropes too when no one wanted to play into them. Tells me I haven't grown up at all, then blocks me.
edit 1: formatting