I'm kinda confused.

I've seen it a lot, in Ahmadi cultures and families, education is must and of course as it should be, that's not the issue. The issue is scope and how much a freaking paper would hold value at a proposal instance.

Of course every family differs and I'm referring specifically asking as an outsider around UK, America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand kind of places. Ahmadi families here.

Can someone explain the concept of Chanda to me please? I give chanda every month because I thought it meant I was donating to those in need. I recently asked my dad if I am able to receive a tax receipt for all the “donations” I have made in this financial year because donations are tax deductible in my country, but my dad said that Chanda is not a donation. So now I don’t really know where my money is going and if I can reduce the amount I am paying. From what I understand, I have to pay certain % of my pay and it goes towards the Jamat in general so for construction, salaries and programs, is that right?

I am in deep distress , I commit a sin and I commit it over and over again . Everyday I repent for it I pray 5 times a day and I read Quran I fast and I do Everything I possibly can . However still I commit this sin again and the cycle continues. I genuinely hate and despise myself bcs of this and I can’t tell anyone except Allah bcs he knows everything. Deep down even when I cry in front of Allah I fear he hasn’t forgiven me and bad things will happen and still I end up doing the sin again . Ik this sounds pathetic but i genuinely need some guidance or just something bcs I always feel dead inside bcs of this .

I don't know how many of you have been following the recent activities of these two, but I have been listening to the debates and their YouTube videos and you can clearly tell how much bias they have against the jamaat. They keep saying we're looking for the truth but their bias is way too evident for that. Nothing is objective, they're not letting the ahmadi side answer the questions properly, constantly cutting them off, taking things out of context and as soon as the ahmadis try to put things into context they start bringing other things up to mislead the public, they take things literally that even a 5yo would be able to tell that they're meant be taken metaphorically which makes them look like idiots, they even mute the mics of ahmadis on their streams, which is such a coward move imo.

All this discredits their stance of "we're just looking for the truth" and "we want people to find the truth".

What do you guys think? Shouldn't they be more open to a proper dialogue? It will definitely help their cause more effectively..

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply.

If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat?" or "25M experiencing issues with the rishta process" type of posts belong in this thread.

I know this has probably been talked about a lot on this sub, but I’m always confused on why no dancing or music at weddings is such a big thing. Ahmadis will literally do anything else like eat non halal meat but Dancing at weddings is where it becomes super serious? I’ve seen people get excommunicated from the Jamat for having music at weddings and it’s so weird.

Hello fellow heathens,

This happened last year but tonight I felt like sharing:

Last year a حافظ cousin kicked me out of his sisters wedding because of his hate towards me because of me choosing to opt out of their religion. Like I was sitting in a corner minding my own business and the guy was walking around and I looked at him and nodded and smiled. The guy went crazy and started shouting "why are you smiling at me, wipe that smile off your face" like some wannabe gangster.

I thought he was kidding cuz he had been always fine with me in the before times. I had basically announced to my whole extended family through the family gossiper that I have left the religion because I didn't wanna pretend or whatever. So I went up to him to chat and ask him what happened and the kid went nuts, in front of all the guests starts shouting at me "get out of here, get away from me, get outta here, dont create a scene". All the time I am asking him what happened and the guy is just shouting at me in front of everyone. I was so dumbfounded, and didn't know what to do and ofc didn't want to ruin my cousins wedding and create a scene in front of whole family with this dumb kid. So I just walked out of the hall.

I met the guys older brother/brides brother who is also a murabbi on the way out and asked him about what happened to his brother and why he has acted out and told me to get out and he told me "we ll talk about it later". Anyways I walked out and went home and sent a voice message to my uncle letting him know that his son kicked me out of the wedding and I have left the venue. He never responded to me.

Anyways I found out later from family that one of his reasons for kicking me out was because I had apparently put up a status against jamaat. I had not done anything like that. I dont even use social media, no accounts, not even whatsapp. No one else in my family saw the status he claims he has seen. I dont give a care about what my extended family believes in and I dont want to preach to anyone. I was a social media warrior on reddit during the first few months when I was going through the shock of learning the truth and adjusting to new reality, but I didn't actively try to preach to my social circle. (The other reason was some dumb family drama so dont need to mention that).

I never even got a fake apology from that family for inviting me to their wedding and then humiliating me in front of everyone and kicking me out for smiling at them.

Recently another extended family member has completely flipped, the guy used to guide me like an older brother, now he is being super rude and weird for no reason at all. He also belongs to a conservative family who worship jamaat and have 100% blind faith in the whole thing.

Now I don't really want to attend any family functions because I know most of the family just hates me secretly because honestly we were taught to dislike مرتد (murtad) people and I know I disliked them when I was a good ahmadi وقف نو kid. But ofc my parents will feel weird if I tell them that I don't want to attend any family functions. At the same time I don't want to face the same family who kicked me out of their wedding.

Rant over. Advice appreciated.

I was born and raised Ahmadi and spent my whole life in it. I am not religious now, and I am not here to insult anyone. I am honestly trying to understand one thing, and I want to hear it from both sides in their own words.

What I want to understand is why so many of us follow the Khalifa's word the way we do. On religion, on marriage, on career, on what to study, on small things and big things, religious or non-religious, his guidance and his blessing are taken as almost final. My question is simple. When you do that, is it a choice you can explain with reasons, or is it trust in the person himself that you do not really question. I am asking because I want to know how it actually works inside a person's mind, not to score a point.

Here is where my own confusion comes from. In Islam the highest place belongs to Allah through the Quran, and then to the Prophet. And even the Prophet was corrected by God openly. Surah Abasa begins with it. He frowned and turned away from the blind man, and God corrected him, and that correction sits in the Quran for everyone to read forever. It did not make him any less of a prophet. It simply showed that even the highest man in the faith could make a mistake, and that something stood above him to set it right.

As per my understanding the Khalifa is not a prophet. No revelation comes down to correct him. Yet in daily life he is followed as if he is never wrong. Nobody around you questions his decisions, and saying out loud that he could be wrong feels almost like a sin. The cost of saying it does not even come from him. It comes from your own family and friends, and it comes quickly. So people stay quiet, and after a while they stop even thinking it.

I know the answer many will give, that God appoints the Khalifa, "Khuda Khalifa banata hai". I am willing to fully accept that for the sake of the question. But the same thing was said about the early caliphs, that they were chosen by God, and they still made decisions that the community itself remembered as mistakes. Usman placing his own relatives in power was a grievance serious enough that it ended in his killing. So in our own history, being chosen by God and still making a mistake were both true at the same time.

So to the Ahmadis, I would really like to understand your side. Your own books say two things together, that the Khalifa is appointed by God and that he can still make mistakes. So how do you hold those side by side in real life. And here is the part I keep getting stuck on. I know how the Jamaat is actually built, the Shura, the Sadr Anjuman with its Nazarats, the Qaza, all of it, and every one of these sits under the Khalifa. They are appointed by him and answer to him, and the Shura can only advise him while he is free to say no. I cannot find a single body anywhere in the system whose job is to check him or correct him. So if he can be wrong, and the books say he can, who is actually able to tell him so, and what happens after they do. If there is a part of the structure I have missed, I genuinely want you to show me. If he is wrong what is the mechanism to remove him ?

To the ex Ahmadis, the part I most want to hear. While you were still in, did the thought that he could simply be wrong ever cross your mind, or was it something you could not even think. If it did cross your mind, what did you do with it. And if something changed for you, what was the actual thing that changed it.

I want to be clear about why I am asking. I am not here to argue with anyone. Whatever your reasons are, I will take them as they are and accept that they are yours. I only want to understand the way each person has worked this out for themselves, with their own logic. That is all.

This forum tends to get a lot of stories from UK, Pakistan, US and maybe europe.. but the experience of African Ahmadis is pretty opaque to me. Will any African brother and sisters share some of their experiences (good or bad)?

I wonder if the communities ahmadis live in at various African countries have similar levels of control in their personal affairs as others. And also if they find things that are passed down through KM5 not relevant to the conditions in their communities..