r/lonely_advice

For those whom struggle with managing popularity.

hi i just wanted to share some of my thoughts and questions that have been on my
mind in the past few days (this is also a kind of vent). i just wanted to share some of my thoughts and questions about my friendships. during all my years as a teen so far, i’ve never had a real bond with my friends. i’ve never experienced having someone call just to hang out, text to see how i’m doing, or even just share random details about their day. it’s always me reaching out first. when i do, they take hours to reply even though i see them online while i always answer right away. lately, my group has been making plans without me. they don't even invite people in the group chat anymore; i just see their stories together on social media. and honestly, i don’t want to feel like an idiot asking them why. i feel like i always have to invite myself and i feel embarassed and like an idiot everytime i do.
its like every friendship i had or have its one sided.
all ive been doing this summer is staying in bed thinking anout the girl i like while i see her stories with her boyfriend and playing games on my pc alone.
sorry if i mixed up alot of things tg but i needed to talk about this to anyone that doesn’t know me irl

Ok, I'm going to put this out there and I honestly don't expect it to help. I am a 44 year old man, I have a wife and daughter. I made my last new friend in 1999. When I was 14 ijoined a community and a hobby that was my entire world, I met my wife there. I have never made a single friend outside of this group About 6 years ago I had a serious falling out with this group and decided that I needed to quit. (For contact this is a midevial combat group.) So I did, I have no interest outside of fighting itself, no interest in adjacent sports or history or anything related to it, just the fighting. Im 44, I am lost now. I don't share any common things with anyone around me. I can't even have normal 44 year old guy conversations, I don't watch sports, or tv, I don't listen to any music or podcasts, I don't have any social media besides this account I made specifically for this post. I don't read unless I have to. Ihave been told to volunteer as way to meet people, but I have a rule to never work unless I am being paid. I work alone, so no coworkers to talk to. I am an atheist. I don't go anywhere regularly. I have been told I have eliminated nearly, if not all, ways men my age meet people. But I don't know what to do. Also, since I left the group not one person has tried to contact me, or responded to any calls or texts I have sent. I am lost