r/multilingualparenting

I’m the Chinese father with white wife in the US. I’ve been having my 2 year old toddler watch YouTube videos like little fox, and other kids chinese YouTube channels. A mix of colors and numbers videos. She’s been watching them for months now. By the way I only speak to her in Chinese. Been doing it since the day she was born.

Well we just recently signed her up for a Chinese class and they also showed a few of the videos that she has been watching and the teacher told the kids to follow along and repeat along and me thinking “oh this will be easy since she’s watched them probably 30 times by now”…. Well she didn’t know anything. The screen time audio might as well have been background noise.

And then the teacher gave us “homework” to review colors. So I decided to play a few YouTube videos on colors. And because we don’t pay for YouTube premium we get ads. My toddler has learned that I help her skip the ads so she’ll ask me for help. So during ads I would pause it and I’d say “okay tell me what color this and daddy will help you”

I would point at the TV remote and tell her that it’s black in Chinese and she’ll say it in English. Then I’ll tell her to say it in Chinese and she’ll repeat after me. I tell her that my coffee mug is white color. Again does it in English. I say do it in Chinese. She’ll repeat. Cool right?

Then repeat YouTube ads, I again ask her what color and she’ll say it in English and I have to repeat to say it in Chinese and she doesn’t remember it. We’ve done this probably 5-6 times just in the last 10 minutes. No retention at all.

This is true with literally every color that she does. I ask her what color it is and she KNOWS it but says English and I have to remind her in Chinese. Some of the basic colors like red green yellow purple, it’s probably been 20-30 times or more that I’ve asked her in the last few weeks alone and she will continue to say it English and I have to remind her to say it in Chinese.

Edit: I just did a test in Chinese. I told her Chinese “can you give me the ( insert several different colors) magnetiles and crayons to me?” She does to correctly. So she knows the colors but doesn’t want to say it

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We live in a firmly English speaking country, and my toddler attends an English daycare. When we are out and about, I am always speaking English to anyone we come across.

But if I am speaking to him, no matter where we are, I speak French. He doesn't get much screen time, but when he does, that's in French, as are his books and music. But at 2.5, he only ever says two French words to me: "Bateau" and "fraise." He frequently uses them in a sentence surrounded by English (for example he'll ask for "cookies and fraise" when he wants mini cookies mixed with freeze dried strawberries, his favourite snack), so I am more than half convinced at this point he's only using them because he just doesn't actually know what they are in English.

How do I encourage him to use more French? If I "ignore" him or pretend I don't know what he said, he just becomes frustrated and either gives up or has a tantrum.

Hello all,

My son is 3. My wife and community speak English and my native language is Arabic. I speak to him only in Arabic (only in emergencies I might speak in English) and speak to his mom in English.

He speaks English well for his age. He understands most things I say in Arabic.

However, when it comes to him trying to say anything, he mostly refuses. Only occasionally he says a few words in Arabic only on prompting. He even gets angry when my wife says anything in Arabic.

His exposure to Arabic is only from me. He refyses to watch any media in Arabic.

Does anyone has a similar experience?

Any advice?

My daughter, 15 months old, is raised trilingual: I speak Dutch to her, dad speaks French to her, me and dad speak English to each other but not to her. She's in daycare 4 days (in French) and has Fridays with me (in Dutch) and weekends with both parents.

The result is that her first words are in French (dodo, manger, vélo, coucou,...). I understand this is because currently she's exposed more to French (due to daycare) but my Dutch speaking mother heart is eager to know when she might start mixing in the Dutch? :D I know she understands me because she does react when I ask her in Dutch to do things.

Parents in similar situations: around when did your child start using its second (and/or third) language? Or did they mix from the very beginning?

19 mo old boy - I only speak Arabic with him at home, and he is with his grandparents who only also speak arabic when I am at work (they don't even understand english.) Dad tries to speak Arabic too, but dad's primary language is english so when I speak to dad it is in english so he overhears it but dad and i don't really hang out for more than 2-3 hours a night just because of our work schedules.

what i noticed is that when I say english words accidentally, he repeats it so quickly even when I don't mean for him to repeat it and its not easy words either. For example, we were eating dinner and i said "lets eat broccoli" in arabic except for the word broccoli (no word in arabic for it). he repeated broccoli perfectly.

meanwhile i have been trying to teach him the simple word of water in arabic (one syllable, kinda sounds like "my" in english) and he has not said it once. He understands all arabic words - he points to body parts, animals, colors, expressions (sad vs happy), etc. He just doesn't say the words!!!

He has said "oh wow," "truck," "balloon," "bubbles," "mall," "park," "baby," "rainbow." But none of these words are in arabic and he repeated it only after hearing it one time!! The only arabic words he says are teta, jido, cido (his grandparent names), haleeb (milk), and thats it even with constant repetition.
Is it just that english is easier to pick up as a baby??? I don't want to delay his speech just because I am stubborn in wanting him to speak arabic only :/

Anyone else having nightmares that their child doesn’t speak or understand the target language?! I’ve had about 3 so far🤣 My baby isn’t quite at the talking stage yet and I think I’m really anxious about the minority language being acquired! I’m the only person in my family who speaks the language anymore and I’m nowhere near fluent so the stress is real.

Hello guys, I really need help with one of my son's friends' brothers. He does not know how to read. He is 11 years old and a 6th grader. I am not from the US, and I don't know what resources are available or how I can help him. His mom is a single mom. I am so sad to see him struggle to read. Please advise

Thank you.

Hi, we’re expecting our first and are wondering whether anyone has thoughts, personal experience, and/or scientific research about the best time to put baby into preschool so their Swedish learning doesn't fall behind too much.

Context: due to Swedish parental leave policies, dad will be home for 1-2 years. Mom works from home with a very flexible schedule, so we intend to spend several months per year (maybe 5-6 months/year) the first few years in the US and Brazil since that is where our families are (for reasons of grandparent bonding, help, and language acquisition, plus better non-summer weather lol).

We will do OPOL English/Portuguese. We speak English with each other but mom also speaks basic (but improving) Portuguese (but understands 80-85% due to speaking advanced/mostly fluent Spanish, which dad also speaks) and both speak Swedish to varying degrees (mom is more fluent than dad). Brazilian grandparents only speak Portuguese, American grandparents mostly only speak English (one speaks intermediate Spanish).

As mentioned, curious to hear any thoughts, personal experience, and/or scientific research you may be aware of. Ty!

Hi everyone. My bub is 20 months old and we have been raising her bilingual (my husband and I speak English, and grandparents who she sees almost daily speak my mother tongue). I've noticed that her speech seems to be a bit delayed - she is very good at communicating what she wants by babbling and hand signals, understands most instructions, says about 15 words, and will repeat words when I say them. But overall she is constantly babbling but not using many words. She doesn't say mama often either. I have been trying to encourage her speech, we read lots of books and do activities but so far doesn't seem to be working. Not sure if this is normal for toddlers that are raised bilingual or if I should look into a speech therapist?

Hallo! I'm Portuguese and I love languages. German is one of the languages I speak the most fluently (between C1 and C2, very good but not native-like; accent close to native) so I decided that I'd speak to my baby in German whenever I'm with her. I also bought a bunch of books in German and I've been trying to improve my vocab as a hobby because there are so many words on daily life that I don't know.

When I decided that I'd stick to German I was living in a big city (Lisbon) where there were many expats - including a baby with a German dad in the same room at her kindergarten. However, I have moved to a smaller city (also in Portugal) and I can't find Germans. There is no German school system here either. I think that the probability that her German goes nowhere is quite high - even if I never expected that she would turn out speaking like a native.

She seems to be quite smart as a kid but at 14 months she hasn't yet articulated more than 2 words and I'm wondering whether I'm slowing her down. She definitely understands many words and phrases in German though.

I was wondering whether I should keep going, completely quit, or quit partially - not interacting 100% in German when I'm with her, but also speak some Portuguese. Right now switching cold turkey to Portuguese feels very odd, because I got used to speaking to her in German - I always automatically react in German. Quitting partially also sounds like it will definitely destroy any possibility of making her learn German (according to one parent - one language). Does anyone have any advice?

Gosh, I should have picked English instead - it's so useful, there's always someone who only speaks it and nouns have no gender!!

My son just turned 14 months old and has not started talking yet. He is currently in a French only daycare in ON CA (not sure how we got in lol). My husband went through FI in elementary school. His French is at a B1/B2 level and he actively tries to maintain it by using Duolingo and speaking French to our son at home when he remembers. I speak English and do not know another language. Our community language is also English.

Our top choice daycare (English only) just offered us a spot starting next Monday. His playmates and my mom friends are already attending this daycare, so it’s a big draw for us. Plus we know the staff and we feel comfortable and confident about sending our kid there. We have until noon on Friday to decide whether to keep him in French daycare or make the switch.

If we stay in the French daycare, our plan is to keep him in the French board as long as possible. However, the board conducts a language assessment to determine if a child’s French is strong enough to continue with them after daycare. I also worry my husband’s French won't be fluent enough to manage school communications and schoolwork down the line.

If he isn't accepted into the French board, our backup plan is FI. In our board, FI doesn't start until Grade 1 (JK/SK are 100% English). Grade 1 and 2 then start at 100% French before the percentage gradually decreases in later grades.

We plan to give him as many French opportunities as possible whether we stay in the French daycare or switch to the English one - French EarlyON programs, story time with Dad, summer trips to Quebec, and me learning French from scratch. But we know there’s only so much exposure we can provide on our own.

Bilingualism is not necessary. We just want to keep this door open for him and give him the opportunity if he adjusts well.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do? Would love to hear your experiences and thoughts!

[Edit]
- Bilingualism is not necessary but strongly preferred if it’s realistic for him to achieve with our support. We will try our best to provide the environment, encourage using the language and learn the language ourselves.

Hi, I'm Italian and my partner is American but we live in Denmark. Our son is 19 months old, is exposed to Danish in daycare, Italian from me and English from my partner and also from us two adults when we speak together.

Our baby has picked up his main words in English primarily and Danish. We leave the Danish to the daycare, we dont speak it with him.

My issue: I struggle to get the Italian in, as when he points at things and says the words in English, for instance "car!" or "apple", I don't want to not reinforce him as he's saying something right so I say "yeah, car! macchina" or "Apple! mela!" but he seems to ignore the Italian and only repeat the English word.

Am I doing this wrong?

I'd like to know how it is best to proceed given he shows preference for the language he hears the most around us and that he's just starting to speak

Thank you! Grazie! Mange tak! 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇩🇰

I need more books en espanol for 5 year old and up please :-) I have a lot too I can exchange from 0-3 yr old.

My husband and I speak solely Spanish to our kids (2 and 4). We have never spoken English to them. Our families also only speak Spanish to them. Their only English exposure is when we’re out and about (we live in the US) and when my husband and I speak to each other in English on occasion. They also only had a Spanish speaking nanny. My daughter started pre-k last year three days a week and it was her first immersion into English. She learned a lot quickly and understands almost everything, but refused to speak because she is shy. This year she is in preschool five full days. She has responded to the teacher a few times in English (poly to the teacher not for everyone to hear) but still isn’t speaking English to her friends. She tells me she’s embarrassed because it’s not perfect (she’s a huge perfectionist). I’ve tried telling her that her friends won’t notice and love her no matter what just as she does when her friends are learning Spanish in class but she’s still so embarrassed for them to hear her. And she knows soooo much English. Granted it’s only been a month but I’m stressing. Anyone with the same teaching approach have any tips? When did your kids start feeling comfortable speaking the main language (English) outside the home?